It was a beautiful morning in the Coker mansion as Khaleed and Aisha Coker, the soon to be President and First Lady of the Federal Republic of Nigeria dressed in their best attire and exquisitely beautiful and borderline expensive garments for their inauguration ceremony which will be watched by Millions of People all around the globe. Never did they know that their lives are about to get a lot harder.
While the first family to be where busy getting all dazzled up for the big event, the maid Constance and the gateman Michael were busy backbiting the family. “Its obvious they’re going to fire us when they get to Aso Villa” said Constance and Michael just gave a nod in agreement to what she said. “Here comes madam, shh” Constance whispers.
Aisha Coker: You know I can hear you right? Oh and as of today, if you want to keep your job, don’t ever in your miserable life call me madam, I am the First Lady of Nigeria and you will give me the respect I deserve.
Khaleed: Don’t talk to people that way.
Aisha: I’ll talk to people in whatever way I want.
They both move to the relatively large kitchen for breakfast. Did I mention Aisha Coker is an arrogant bitch who has way more money than her husband, well she is. Moving on, they ate breakfast really fast so they don’t end up late for the Inauguration.
Constance: Breakfast dey table o
Oh, did I forget to mention they have kids? So sorry about that, they have 4 kids. The first child is Khalifa, a 32 year old graduate of University of Lagos. He studied Theatre Arts. Then we have Salima, a fashion designer who has had terrible luck in the relationships. Then we have Alisha who recently completed her NYSC Lastly, Kabir, an ss3 student in one of the most expensive high schools in Nigeria WhitePlains High School, Abuja Nigeria. So there you have it, the four presumably decent, responsible and somewhat obnoxious kids of the Cokers.
Meanwhile things were going according to plan at the Presidential Villa where the head of the servants is making sure the villa is ready for the new occupantants
Abiola: Nkechi, you don hang those curtains wey Mrs Coker ask u make u hang?
Bimbo: Hayyy (She puts her hands on her head) Daddy, no vex. I never buy them o.
Oyà Bimbo: You see, Biola. You see, you see why I be dey tell u make u send Festus, though no be our pikin. Sometimes I dey wish say na me born am.
Nneka: I dey come, make I go buy am o, I no fit for Mrs Coker wahala.
At the Coker Mansion the kids quickly went down for breakfast and as soon as everyone finished they got into the Convoy with cars that don’t cost less than ₦10 Million sent by the Federal Government.
Aisha: (In a 2016 Range Rover Autobiography) Surely I could’ve gotten a better car than this.
Khaleed: Aisha, it is not about the car
Aisha: Oh, of course it is. The new President and First Lady of Nigeria will step out in a Fifty Million Naira when we could’ve stepped out of a 200 Million Naira car.
Salima: (In a 2017 Toyota Highlander) Ali, look at this boy
Alisha: Who is he?
Salima: I have no idea, but can you imagine he dm’ed me on Instagram? What effrontery. This thing?
Alisha: You shouldn’t be that quick to judge. How do you know he is not wealthy.
Salima: Ugh, you’re so naive.
Khalifa: (In a 2016 Toyota Sequoia) I don’t think I’ll take you up on that offer. I’m sorry. (He hangs up the phone)
Kabir: Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? You were offered a role in a brand new TV show without even auditioning and you’re turning it down?
Khalifa: I have to, I can’t use my dad’s influence to get what I want. “Monkey dey work baboon dey chop”, besides my dad needs me now more than ever
Kabir: Oh bullshit! Thats not the reason, you’re just scared to try new things. To go out in the world and meet people and make a living for yourself that’s why you’re 32 and still live with your parents.