Delayed Restoration

The day was very hot, and everything shone with the brilliance of the Sun, it was the kind of day which you made you wish that you had a car, Okoli was walking down Brown’s Street on his way to the bank to make a deposit, he had opened a bank account six months earlier and he had been making deposits every time he got his weekly paycheck, it was strange to him this idea of depositing money in banks, he had been in the city for eight years without opening a bank account, he had always stubbornly held on to the belief that his money was safer with him than with anyone else, and so for all his years in the city he had no sort of savings, as he kept spending his money as it came, believing that tomorrow will take care of itself, but recently he had been hit with a series of unfortunate events, which started with losing all his wares to a fire outbreak and advanced to him and his family been thrown out of their apartment. His only salvation was that due to his good nature and kindness people came to his aid, with funds gotten from friends and church members he was able to get a new apartment, and since he was not able to go back to selling goods in a burnt market that has been abandoned by the government, he was saving the money he got from his work in a factory to pay the first installment for a hire purchase on a commercial bus, he knew that in two weeks’ time that he will be able to save up the starting amount for the hire purchase.

He finally arrived at the bank, and as he stepped in he was greeted by the cool air coming from the air conditioner which made him to momentarily forget the impact of the intense sunlight outside, he went straight to the water dispenser located near the customer care section, as he drank he could feel the cold water from the dispenser travel all the way from his mouth to his stomach, after drinking he made his way to the counter and made his deposit and headed home. Once again outside he was reintroduced to the impact of the sun heat, he searched his pockets to see if he had any money to spare for transport, after counting his money and making a mental calculation he hailed a taxi and hopped in.

The taxi cab dropped in front of his new residence in the low-cost housing estate, his wife was arranging her wares in the new kiosk he built for her in the front of the house, and her countenance told him that something was not right. Good evening sir, she greeted, evening my dear what is the matter you look sad, it is your brother, he has gotten himself into trouble again, his wife came here this afternoon, and was crying, she said he left home yesterday on a company assignment, and then all of a sudden some men came to their house this morning and told her that he was in detention, they told her that he crashed his company’s truck into a school bus full of students on their way to an excursion. On close inspection, they found out that he was drunk. Some students secured severe injuries, and he is being sued by the parents of the children.

At that moment, Okoli suddenly lost all hope, he was the only one his brother had, he had always warned Adim about his excessive drinking habit, but all his warnings always fell on deaf ears. Now he had gotten himself into this huge web of trouble, Okoli knew that his dream of acquiring his bus in a fortnight will never be achieved.

 



7 thoughts on “Delayed Restoration” by Ogochukwu Obiajulu onyema (@ajulu)

  1. A well-crafted warning about the evils of excesses… Nice piece!

  2. Good attempt!

    All expenses on ‘Poor Okoli’ who is trying to meet up his expectations, only to be dazed with wat he knew nothing about…..I pity him

    1. yeah sometimes life throws things at you that you do not expect, you just have to find the will to carry on@mikeal

  3. Good intention but I guess it could have been better written… twas kinda rushed.

    Well done, keep writing.

  4. When life hands you lemons… A noteworthy take on the philanthropic nature of people.

    Thoughts

    Your first sentence, a running sentence spanning 12 lines, easily solved by fighting the plethora of commas with periods.

    Dialog between Okoli and his wife run into each other. Quotes denoting direct speech could assist as well as periods separating their utterance.

    Read Martin Luther King Jr. “Letter from a Birmingham Jail”. He has long sentences that aren’t running. It’s also a good read.

    Looking to your next write up

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