Diary of a non-alcoholic..


Now what’s with the disturbing perception towards the league of guys who do not drink alcohol? Hmmmm? What’s with that stigmatization of being ordained a sissy or regarded as a nine year old when you have a bottle or can of malt drink in your hand sitted in the company of beer? Is it because of one’s inability to keep down the frowning bitterness of an alcoholic drink or the incapability of one’s head to withstand those funny effects even a bottle of liquor could bring let alone three or four of its bottle? Yes, some of us may be well bred when it comes to downing many bottles of beer and dealing comfortably with its after effect but how about the other guy? Yes. Have you any idea if he is head strong? Have you any iota of knowledge if he has some internal health condition and was strictly warned by the doctors to lay off the sauce? Reason plenty.

I have witnessed a young man at a sitting drain the entire juice housed in seven bottles of Hero and walked as though he took nothing. He was all smiles. And the other having only emptied two bottles of same Hero and it left him feeling giddy and high in beer talk. He launched into a fit of drivel, divulging what was supposed to be confidential. Now, these are two different people. One is head strong while the other isn’t.

You see, most of the ‘I do not drink alcohol’ phrase we hear today is by virtue of a bitter experience inflicted by the content of an alcoholic beverage, which has been the bane of many. So, whenever any man tells you he does not drink, don’t take it with any form of indifference, rather, respect that maka na inweghi the slightest of idea ihe ya na ya so. Four days ago, a friend of mine drank himself silly and became blind drunk. Consequently, he slumped in the bar and was afterwards denuded of all he had on him; expensive phones, wallet with lots of cash, ATM’s, ID cards. The next he found himself lying face first on his bed and when finally he became sober again and made a painful realization to his loss, he rued everything that had happened and resolved to abstain from anything that had to do with the booze. So you can imagine the rationality behind his decision to severe the ties he once had with the booze.

Then again, two nights ago during a hang out with my cool compadres, a guy I met at the bar told me that I was not man enough reason being that I said I do not drink alcohol. Inukwa! Negodi nno anya?! So you now get to evaluate a man’s aptitude based on his level of alcohol intake. People shaa. Well, I smiled and took his shallow piece of mind without any hard feeling. Wasn’t as if that was the first time I heard such inane remark. Then thirty minutes into our bar trip, ‘Mr. Man enough’ was already in alcohol ecstasy, proclaiming an undying love which he had worked up for his land lady. *Laughs. He will sure make a good comedian as he had the entire bar choking with laughter with his loose word of mouth and beer theatrics. News eventually got to us. He only took two bottles of medium stout.

So I ask, why can’t some of us learn to respect that individual difference handed down to each and every one of us on that day of procreation. ”No, I do not drink…oh thats cool, what’s your brand” how about that? Rather than having the eyes around stare right at you like some alien who just touched down the moment it’s made known you are not an encouraging fan of the liquor. Of course, there is a justification behind it and I am under no obligation to explain myself to you.

A lot of us have a rationale for drinking. It could be for the assembly of courage, temporal healing of sorrows, laying to bed that false spirit of fear and many more. All that I know and do not see any shame in that but there are still other ways to drive your sorrows away from you other than taking solace in the content of a bottle. But, hey! If that’s the only thing does it for you, disregard me, just go ahead, knock yourself out, and give wings to your sorrows. Just remember to keep your head under lock and key as soon as you have had your fill. Don’t get out of control or more importantly, try not to ruin my own fun.

I have never had nothing against the liquor as I have super cool friends who always treat themselves to the beer without stirring up nuisance. As a matter of record, this is an exercise that predates even the birth of Christ. So drink, be merry but don’t abuse it, because when it stirs up a squabble, that’s when we have a problem. Yeah, that’s right, Mano ye Mano (man to man). I go just roll my sleeves go up then slap that beer commot for your dirty eyes. *Grins*

Finally, we all have what works for us and if five, six or maybe eight bottles makes well of your depression and keeps you clean, then buenas suerte (good luck). Just stop looking at people weird when next they tell you they don’t drink alcohol. You have no idea what their story is and how funny you look while you scrutinize people with your big eyes. Ka Chineke mezie okwu.

(c) Dekaiser

2 thoughts on “Diary of a non-alcoholic..” by cojones (@dekaiser)

  1. Nice one, you’ve written everything i have always find difficulty explaining to some people.

  2. Thank you Jabanz for reading..

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