The Visit

When the stinging pain struck the third time, Farida held her left cheek and stifled a whimper.

Please, no. Please!

She immediately ran into her mother’s room and examined the ailing tooth with a mirror. The memory of the palpable agony her younger brother passed through for a full week made her shiver.  Two months had gone by after a visit to the ruthless Dr Inuwa went awry for him.

When she turned, her mother was at the doorway. Mama Farida stepped in, seized Farida’s jaw and squinted into her open mouth for a while. She nodded to herself and left.

Three days later, Farida was seated in Dr Inuwa’s operating room. She held her heart in her mouth as he probed her gums with his odd instruments, frowning all the time. Satisfied, he left to have a short conversation with Farida’s mother whom he had forbidden from stepping into the room. When he walked back in, he moved straight to his workbench and turned his bent back to Farida. She regarded him with trepidation as faint clinks filtered towards her.

‘I will get the hole cleaned and filled today,’ Dr Inuwa began in his monotonous drawl, his back still turned to Farida.

He paused and eyed her, displeasure coursing over his wrinkled face.

‘Much later, possibly, we will have to yank the tooth out.’ He said as he moved towards Farida, stirring a whitish tincture on a small plate he bore on his hand.

When he was done with Farida, Dr Inuwa scribbled some prescriptions on paper.

‘Here, make sure you take this yourself to the Pharmacy,’ he drawled.

Farida left the room with mixed feelings, in dread of that possible next visit.




#This is my first writing experience. I need comments and advice.

3 thoughts on “The Visit” by His Radiance (@Daeparagon)

  1. It’s a good one. Keep writing

  2. Very good for a first try!

    Now you may want to challenge yourself with writing longer pieces; with working on story plot and character building, that kind of thing…

  3. A good first try I must say. I was expecting the story to be longer though and that’s an indication that you should try your hands on writing longer pieces. Well done! I look forward to reading more from you.

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