I Was Trained

She said I didn’t cook,
Didn’t clean,
Didn’t do nada,
All I did was warm my husband’s bed;
My mother-in-law.

I told her I could do all that, I just chose not to- except for the last part, that was wifely duty, the rest was house work. I didn’t struggle in my youth to make it only to end up doing something I don’t like, I struggled so I could be free.
Free financially,
Free spiritually,
Free socially and finally,
Free from the chores.

I figured that if I worked hard enough all those things I hated doing, I wouldn’t do them anymore because I would have ‘paid’ help to do all the washing, cleaning, cooking etcetera, etcetera.
I would have lots of resting time on week days which would be spent with my husband and kids. Isn’t that the life?
Then why will my mother-in-law keep insisting that I cook for and clean after my husband and kids with my own hands when our new system works so well and everyone is happy at the end of the day. Is hubby complaining? This woman should not come and scatter my paro o.

Ever since she visited last Christmas, weeks after, my ears became hot from the numerous calls I received from different aunts and cousins. You guessed right, mama carried my name from place to place, using me as a topic of discussion; how my daughter-in-law doesn’t use her hands to cook and clean for the family, househelps everywhere! Ahn ahn mama, I just have a chef, a driver and a cleaner. When it comes to washing clothes and the rest, the washing machine is there to make life easy for everyone, even my ten year old can operate it. But that’s not what mama is carrying about, because of my lack of cooking and cleaning and a house full of ‘paid helps’, I’ve turned to a bad wife. This woman won’t kill me.

My hubby told me mama would be coming soon for this Christmas and I’m already dreading her visit. I pray I won’t commit murder before Christmas is over. God help me.


Mama is arriving today.

I came home early from work because of the special plans for mama. She says I’m lazy and not trained, I’m going to prove to her that I can do all those things and more, I just choose not to because I can afford to.

When mama came inside the house, I came out of the kitchen to specially welcome mama, she was suspicious. She saw me in an apron and I could see she was hiding a smirk, probably thinking I was playing an act for her benefit. Well, it was for her benefit only it wasn’t an act, I was out to prove something to her.
When I got mama settled in her room, I went back to continue my cooking. Hubby was in the kitchen when I entered and he could see what I was doing, he wagged a carrot in my direction and shook his head, smiling. I just smiled back, the game was coming to an end and I was going to emerge the winner. He asked how he could help and I put him to work.

Mama met us cooking together and quickly chased hubby away saying he should lounge in the parlour while the women would handle the cooking. I quickly appealed to mama to go with her son to the parlour, she refused. I know it’s because she wants to be sure I know what I’m doing in the kitchen.
Stylishly, she asked about the chef and cleaner, I told her I gave them the day off then jokingly said she was going to experience my home management skills to the max. She too jokingly said she was only teasing me, that it was good once in a while for a woman to cook and clean for her family even though she can afford helps. Finally, we began to agree with one another. My mother-in-law is indeed a shrew!

I set the table, placed the food and called my family to the dining room, there we settled down to eat and just be a family without the tension that always accompanied mama’s presence in our house.

Table cleared,
Plates washed,
And everyone settled in the parlour.
Then I turned to mama, she smiled at me. She’s been singing my praises since the meal. Never knew the woman could be this nice and relaxed.
What daughters-in-law do for the happiness of the home. It’s no secret that a happy mother-in-law makes for a peaceful home.

“Mama-” I started,
“No, my daughter,” She stopped me and pulled me closer to her in a hug.
“You’ve done well. I see that you can really take care of my son and the children. You are a true gem. You go to work, still spend time with your family and never complain, my dear, you’re gold. You won’t hear peem from me again. Nwanyibuife!” She hugged me, then turned to her son and continued to hail me in their language.
I quickly stood up, thanked her and headed to I and hubby’s wing of the house. From the look hubby gave me, I know he’ll soon be coming up to show how happy he is with me for making his mother happy.

Well, one thing is clear and that’s what she’ll be taking back with her; I was trained.

7 thoughts on “I Was Trained” by Vanessa's writings (@Vanessa)

  1. Interesting….. How easily women can deceive

  2. Now she knows you can do it, doesn’t mean you will continue doing it

  3. It’s a feel good story. I like it. I’m certain its not unconnected with the “kitchen, living room and other room” theme that is the current thing in Nigeria and with Nigerians.

  4. @Abionaalli
    I didn’t get the last part but thanks for your comment!

    1. Haba! Are you not in Nigeria? I was referring to president Buhari’s comment that his wife belonged in his kitchen, his living room and ‘the other room’ and the resultant backlash all over the media.

  5. It was just yesterday I read something on that, now I get what you meant. But I already submitted this post before the president fell on his tongue. Lol

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