I had been acting weird
But no one knew my heart had been seared
Not with a spear or an arrow
But by the way I was marred.
My innocence was taken By a man who called himself a father.
I tried to talk to you mummy
I tried to make you understand my shortcomings
But you were always too busy!
“I don’t have much time to talk”
You’ll always retort.
I sat with you in the kitchen
And each time I tried to speak
“His food should be ready already”
Was what you’ll say.
I had come back from school
He was always at home
He started with fingering
And said it was nothing.
I grew older and it got wider
He expanded his horizon
A man who sleeps with a mother and her daughter
It disgusts me
I planned to kill him
Before he gets to my little sister.
If he did defile me
Though not my biological father, it won’t be a big task to defile her
Who’s biologically his
I tried to get your attention
I tried to make you understand
But you were just too busy
Do you ever listen?
Do you even care?
Do you feel my plight?
Guess you were too occupied to be there
Now I’ve done the forbidden;
I’ve killed a man
Not just a man,
But your husband
The man you always tried to defend
But whom I detest
I had hoped you’ll see the signs
And understand why I always sigh
I’ll shudder at the tiniest slam of the door
But you felt I was possessed by a demon
“He came again last night”
I had said
But you didn’t even listen
Maybe you heard
But just felt to ignore
I made up my mind to kill a man,
Maybe the blindfold will fall from your eyes
And you’ll see more clearly.
“He always tries to sleep with me”
But you said I was crazy and my father wouldn’t do such a thing to me
“He’s my step-father!”
You were never around
And he always had his way
Too late you believed
Only when you saw his unclad lifeless body in my room
I was tired of his continual coming
I’d kept a knife to end the mess
I’ve killed a man
I hope you now believe me.
Parents out there
I know you are busy
You need to make ends meet
But do you have time for us?
We need your attention as much as you need money
We’ll adapt even if your business fails
But we’ll never outgrow the pain of making a mistake you would have helped us avert.
Please take us seriously,
We need your time,
We need you to listen
We need you to explain
We need you to believe
And we need you to understand
Even our very irrational quest.
I’ve killed a man because my mom didn’t believe and she never tried to understand.