Birthday Gone Awry (Concluding Part)

Prisca went inside and shouted “come out from your hiding. I have forgiven you for forgetting my birthday”. But there was only an echo of her words.

Fear gripped her on the thought that something bad had happened to her family. “No it can’t be!” she tried to be positive about the situation. Looking up at the pendulum clock on the wall, it was almost 8:00pm. She heaved a deep sigh and wanted to collapse in the sofa when a big hand blindfolded her from behind.

She could feel a gulp of air and saliva stocked in her throat and she wasn’t sure if she should swallow it or leave it there. Her heart beat faster than normal and she tried to let out a word, but the words couldn’t find their way out.

They blindfolded her and tied her hands backwards. She knew they were more than one in the room. She heard them whispering to themselves, but couldn’t recognize the voice. Still dumbfounded, they carried her to their car and it was only then she got the courage to speak.

“Who are you and what are you trying to do with me? Where is my family? Did you take them also? Where are you taking me to?” she kept asking them tons of questions she never got an answer to.

After a long drive, the car came to an halt. She wasn’t sure why they stopped, but she felt they had reached their destination. This thought made her scared the more ’cause she knew she was in danger and she believed they took her family too…

They highlighted from the car and brought her out too leading her to specific directions. They walked a little more and they stopped. One of her abductors asked for a chair and they made her sit on it.

Blindfolded and scared, Prisca had forgotten about her birthday. The only thought on her mind was the possibility of scaling through with this safely.

“She wished she believed in the potency of prayers, but even if I did it is too late! Let me plead for mercy one last time” she sighed and said “please I beg of you, let me go. Don’t hurt me please! If I ever offend you in anyway, please forgive me and if it were my dad, please forgive him. Don’t take it out on him. I know in politics there are many enemies, but please just forgive him and let me go” she pleaded sorrowfully, but it seems to have fallen on their stone heart. They both laughed in unison and she felt she heard more than two people laughing.

Who else is here?” she asked in curiosity.

They seem to be mocking her and she sat there hoping for her end or whatever it is they wanted to do with her.

Few minutes later she heard a snap of a finger and she felt someone walking closer to her direction. Fear gripped her again and she tried to scream, but a hand gagged her mouth and she shivered.

The hand moved to the blindfold on her face. For a moment she felt relieved, but on a second thought she was scared of what she’ll see. When the blindfold fell off her eyes, she closed her eyes tightly more scared than she was before.

“Why don’t you open your eyes?” one of the abductors asked.

She summoned the courage and opened her eyes a little bit, everything was blur and she blinked continuously until she was sure of her sight.

“Happy Birthday!!!!!!” Exclamations filled the hall and she managed to look around. She could recognize many faces there. She sat there trying to get herself to understand the situation. She realized it was all planned out. She wailed and screamed falling off the chair and sitting on the floor to ease the tension she was in.

After much consoling from her dad and the rest of the family, they helped her to her feet and gave her a big hug and the cultural birthday kiss. They told her it was all planned out and that was the reason no one wished her a “Happy Birthday” initially.

She was filled with euphoria and the whole drama was too much for her to take at a time.

“Hey, you need to freshen up and change that look on your face. It’s your birthday girl and you need to look good.” Kiki smiled as she brought out her sister’s makeup kit from the corner she had kept it.



3 thoughts on “Birthday Gone Awry (Concluding Part)” by Fikayo (@@fikayomi)

  1. I don’t get this part:

    “She wished she believed in the potency of prayers, but even if I did it is too late! Let me plead for mercy one last time”

    Yeah, it was a surprise birthday party, but it seemed like she already knew, and was just playing along:
    * how come she did not try to call someone on the phone when she got home?
    * she did not struggle when she was abducted, neither did she scream–the narrator told us she was scared; the character failed to tag along
    * when the blindfold was removed, she still took some extra time before she opened her eyes–who does such, when death seem imminent?

    In my view: The details appear forced, and not so real.

  2. Well, I am not going to be so hard on this one. But it came as I had thought. Well done.
    I still maintain that it ought to have been in one submission, though.
    Don’t stop writing.

  3. Well, I saw this coming! *Covers face*
    @namdi You really got me with those points.
    @Levus you didn’t want to tell me the truth.. Lemme just keep quiet and be watching you.

    Anyways, I appreciate people in Naijastories, thank you for always making me realize my mistakes!
    I know how and what to work on now. I guess I’ll just stick to the style of writing I’m comfortable with.
    You know, like:

    I heard about Naijastories,
    I didn’t know what it was all about at first
    I made my first post and I understood it a little more.

    It was quite challenging at first,
    But I loved the aura with time.
    @Vanessa was always on my case
    But I took to her correction to improve
    Improving my prowess is the only thing that’s true.

    I know of a guy over here
    I’ve read some of his literary works over here
    And I must admit he’s such an amazing writer.
    But one thing I noticed about him is this;
    @namdi always fish out mistakes
    He reads through the lines and give his take
    Quite blunt, but always raw.

    @Levus and many others make this site sure
    I observe and I love here more
    One of my wish is this;
    When I grow up
    I’ll like to be like you!
    You’re all appreciated!

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