Life has been so tough for me. I never envisaged that at age 30 I will still be single, working in a small firm, earning just a hundred and fifty thousand Naira and living in a mini-flat in the suburb of Lagos. I envisaged wardrobe full of clothes, designer shoes and bags, a good life that will make any young lady envious. I thought my being good will earn me a place amongst the royals of the world.
Loving God has not really paid me… So here I am thinking of how to achieve what I want. The good ones seem to be dwindling and swimming in poverty while the tough ones rule the world. If God won’t help; if he has chosen to ignore me.. Then it is time to take it by force. After all, the bible says “From the time of John the Baptist, heaven suffered violence and only the violent take it by force”
This was my thought all night and so I have made up my mind to give Alhaji a chance. After all, all I had to do was satisfy his sexual desires and get what I want. Morning came and I boarded a bus to CMS, hoping to pick a taxi at CMS to Alhaji’s office.
While on transit, I saw houses in very bad taste, children brushing inside the gutter while some bathed outside in the cold. Yet they wore a smile on their faces. Wat is happening to me? I asked myself. I have been on this road several times; hardly did I take note of this. I felt bad but I won’t relent in my quest.
Few minutes later, I decided to visit the blogs. Someone was reported dead. He was a rich man but was dead. Oh No… He couldn’t buy life or time… His wealth won’t be buried alongside him. But he has left a legacy for his children. What legacy??? What if his children squander his wealth? What if this wealth becomes the genesis of a family feud? What a world… Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers, little we see in Nature that is ours. I remembered the poem; the world is too much with us by Williams Wordsworth and pondered in my heart.
It was only 30mins to my destination but there was a traffic gridlock and the journey seemed to be long hours away. I was beginning to get a cold feet when my daily readings popped up on my phone… it was Job 34:1-2 “Then out of the storm the Lord spoke to Job. Who are you to question my wisdom with your ignorant, empty words?” I felt a heat rush through my whole body. I couldn’t get over those words and so had to read the whole chapter.
“Oya everybody come down”, the conductor was beckoning on everyone to alight… I couldn’t go any further. How could I have fallen? Oh Lord, I was way comfortable than so many. So many are in the hospital, yet they praise His name… Who am I to question his wisdom? Who am I?
I ran into a church and fell before the altar. I felt ashamed, silly, petty and ungrateful with my ninety-nine questions. I asked God for wisdom to persevere; Breakthrough to be at the right place and at the right time. I knew if only I was patient, work hard and pray, He will elevate me to the place I should be. A place where I won’t be carried away with what I have or what I have become; A place where I will be both comfortable and happy.
So here I am, in the comfort of my sitting room typing this, singing at the top of my voice and waiting…