Letting Go

“I was told our relationship wont last for long and we will have much trouble if we get married to each other. I’m sorry it had to end this way. Please, I need you to understand why we have to end this relationship”. Dan said to Tara on the phone.

Tara’s eyes were already soiled with tears. His call woke her up around 12:40am. It was quite unusual for him to call this late, she had thought before pressing the receive button on her phone. But now she wished her phone was off and he never found a means to contact her.

“If I offended you, please forgive me. Why must we end it now because a Pastor told you so. Think about the 6years we have been together. Don’t leave me now”. Tara pleaded painfully.

“I can’t do anything about it Tara. My hands are tight, I don’t want to risk the future. Think about it too dear. I’m really hurt too, but the prophecy was too much for me. We have to end it now.” he continued on the phone.

Tara was too shocked. She felt weak and tired and she didn’t want to talk again “OK. I’ve heard you. I now know you never really loved me. It’s over, I agree it’s over.” she sniffed and ended the call.

Tara and Dan had been together for 6years. They started out as friends and being a next door neighbor to each other, it helped their relationship. They were of the same age with two months intervals between Dan and Tara. They talked about everything and anything. Both parent questioned the close rapport between them, but they always insist they were just friends.

When Dan gained an admission to a school in the north, Tara was scared she might loose him to another girl. She had already gained admission into a school in the neighbouring state and it didn’t affect their closeness much. She cried secretly when she saw him all packed and ready to leave for school. “Nothing can comeĀ  between us Tara. Not even distance. I know your fears and I assure you it won’t happen.” she recalled his words the previous night and tried to console herself.

During school breaks it was always fun. They had their shortcomings, but they always sort it out between themselves. Both parents knew there was something more than friendship between them, but they kept their mute about it.

Tara was the first to graduate as she gained an admission before him. But she wasn’t interested in the Youth Service Program. She soon got a job, though the pay wasn’t so good. But she felt it was better than waiting on her widowed mother for her needs.

A year later, Dan graduated too. He was awarded the best student of the school for that year. When Tara heard this, she was elated. She had always loved him for his brilliancy and had a crush on him for that and his good looks before they become lovers. He was posted to the north for his Youth Service Program and Tara felt pained and scared again.

“I was in school far away from you for four years and I never cheated on you. How can I cheat on you or leave you now that’s only a year. Don’t be scared dear, I’ll always love you and you alone.” He assured her

“I believe you.” she smiled and gave him a warm hug.

After his Youth Service Year, he was retained in the bank were he served. He wanted to refuse the offer, but Tara encouraged him to stay till he had another job. They both send each other letters ’cause that was the only means of communication then. Distance made the relationship stronger.

But there was a problem. Tara and Dan’s parents were not in good terms. Dan’s mum was always comparing herself with everyone in town and Tara’s mum hates such attitude. She would come to Tara’s compound to borrow anything new that can be borrowed without returning it.
“My daughter will never be your in-law” Tara’s mum will say to herself
“Who will be an in-law to someone who acts abnormally like this? ” this and many thoughts flooded her head whenever she sees Dan’s mother.

“Tara, I know you are in love with Dan, but can you handle his mother? She will become possessive of your home when you get married. Forget all those pretence of a kind gesture she always does. I don’t want you to go there my dear.” Tara’s mum told her severally

Tara felt her mum hates her. “How could she say such things about that kind woman? I know she normally does some of the things she says, but she has changed.” she said as she lamented to her brother.

After six months, Dan was transferred to another branch of the bank in the neighbouring state next to his. Tara was glad to have him close again. She had stopped working because of the little pay. She was planning to study more, but she didn’t have enough money to settle the fees.
“It’s just a 15months course, I’ll foot the bill and pay for anything you might need.” Dan assured her to start when she payed him a visit.

I should have read the signs and understood I wasn’t wanted anymore when his mum changed from her over caring mother to a snub, but I was blinded by love.” she said as she wiped the tears off her face
“He truly paid for my course and other needs like he promised, but I was writing my last exam when he called that night to say it is over.” she turned to Her friend whom she was narrating her reason for being single too.

Her friend tried to console her and understood the reason she was never able to let him go.
“But it’s 10years already now, why haven’t you been able to love someone else? You are still hurt my dear” she walked up to her and placed Tara’s head on her shoulder.

Tara wailed and sniffed continuously on her shoulder “I still love him….I… I still love him! He got married 6months after our break up. Can you believe that?” she raised her head to give her friend an inquisitive look.

“I understand dear. But you have to let go now! You are not getting any younger. He is living his life and you are here punishing yourself unnecessarily. Let somebody love you.” Tara’s friend advised

“I couldn’t… I can’t open up to someone else. None of them as been able to fill the void he left in me. All those other guys were no match for my Dan.” She continued in tears.

“I understand you! But you areĀ  getting older by the day. That man is waiting for you to let go so he could come in. You can’t keep holding on to your past and expect your future to be bright. You have to let go of those filthy rags and create a place for the beautiful clothes. Open your heart and set your soul free. I want to be present at your wedding. I want to see you dance and hear tidings about how he cares and love you.” She advised, patting her back, holding out a face towel from her bag for Tara. The one with Tara was already soiled with tears.

“Cry all you want to now. But don’t forget my advice. Face that fear and it will vanish away. Treat that wound and it will dry up. I don’t want you to continue like this.” she ended lifting Tara’s head from her shoulder and gave a an assuring smile.

When Tara got home, she was tired and felt week, but she was determined to get rid of the pain in her heart. She brought out Dan’s picture from the purse in the corner of her bag where she always kept it. She kept staring at his picture and flash scenes of the moment they had together came before her eyes. She cried and screamed “Why? Why did you do this to me? Why did you leave me Dan?”

After a while she picked her phone beside her and played Trey Songz “Heart Attack”. Tears flowing down her cheeks. She sang along and had the song on repeat. She stood up abruptly after a while and muttered “this is my first step to freedom” she took the picture before her and wanted to tear it, but on a second thought, she took it to her box and kept it below her clothes.
“At least, I know you are far from me now. I won’t keep you close again!” she said as she closed her box.

She jumped on the bed feeling quite relieved and changed the music playing on her phone to “Adele. Someone Like You”
After a brief stare at the ceiling, she picked her phone again and sent a text to her latest admirer who has been head over toes for her.
“Can we meet tomorrow at a location of your choice. Bills on me.” she pressed the send button and heaved a deep sigh.

Dedicated to every single lady who was hurt and is yet to see reasons to love again. Let go of your past hurts.

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