Shh. . . Quiet

Remember you asked me to remember
Those days when we danced in the moonlight
With faces as bright as ever
Beaming in the mystery of the night

Our hearts were entwined, you said
Like lovebirds in the oasis of the Sahara
Yet, you were the one who cheated
You were the one who broke us asunder

Forget the love we had together
Forget those chilly days of September
You sealed out fate the day you brought him
You did us in the day you brought him in

I had thought you were the perfect bride
But I wasn’t even the perfect groom
It started the night I accepted his ride
It started the night I dwelt in his room

I do not blame thee for thy iniquity
For I see why you resisted him not
His gaze chased away all traces of fidelity
And all that burned within me was lust.

He did care for me that night
And worshipped my little body
He wouldn’t let me out of his sight
Lest I come home and become sorry

Oh how he nursed away my worries
And whisked away my many fears
But when I remembered you, Doris
I did all but shed tears

To hell with the day we wedded
It’s no news we both cheated
The only disturbing stigma
Is that we fell in love with the same man
Shh…quiet

6th June, 2014
4:07pm
SS3 G

Came across this recently in my ‘old archives’ …one of the many assignments given by my teacher. I didn’t get a full mark though…nobody gets a full mark in poetry.
Critical reviews would surely help too…

Gracias



3 thoughts on “Shh. . . Quiet” by praize (@praize)

  1. This is beautiful! I was too carried away by the message that I couldn’t ‘review’.
    I love this poem. Nice one.
    You see, that is why I cannot mark poems… I would be tempted to give excellent score.
    Well done @Praize

  2. Thank you @levuz . Don’t worry, a praise from Levuz is worth a thousand. It’s good to hear from you again, it’s been a while I came on NS.

    Merci beaucoup.

  3. I’m just seeing this now, the story is quite sad.
    Words are a powerful thing and you made good use of yours. All the best!

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