Today I bring to you Iwalewa V, have you been enjoying this short story so far? If so, leave me some feedback in the comment section. I’d love to hear from you!
If you haven’t done so already, read parts I-IV.
One year later, I sit here in my dorm room wishing that that day never ended. After a year in college, I could not look myself in the mirror. I was ashamed of who I had become. I got distracted, doing well in school and becoming a Physical Therapist no longer interested me. The parties, drinking, and attention seeking drew me in the opposite direction.
I stared at my grades from this past semester and I almost stopped breathing. My GPA was a 1.9, I was a failure. They were threatening to kick me out of school. I didn’t want to go home, how could I face my mom.
I’m sure you’re wondering what happened. Well I messed up, mingled with the wrong people and found myself in a trap. I arrived at school and instantly found myself in the middle of an identity crisis. A part of me wanted to be a good focused student, while the other part wanted to be free and reckless. Guess which part won?
My major influence was my roommate Jamilla. From the first day I met her, I knew that she was no good. But she was friendly and she kinda grew on me so I ignored her flaws. Even when she started smoking weed in our room. I brushed it off.
One day I had a break in between classes so I decided to go back to the room and have lunch. I ran quickly into our suite because I had to use the bathroom. After urinating, I felt relieved. I took out the keys for our room door but surprisingly it was open. That was strange, Jamilla usually had a class at this time. When I walked into the room, I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was in bed with a girl. I caught them off guard and they both froze.
I mumbled, “I’m so sorry” I ran out before I could get a response.
For the rest of the day, I couldn’t focus. The scene kept replaying in my head. She sent a text to apologize but I didn’t respond. I decided to stay in the library until late, hoping that she’d be asleep when I came in. But she wasn’t.
“Hey J” I avoided her eyes.
“I’m really sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean for you to see me like that.”
Still avoiding her eyes, “It’s okay”
“I wanted to tell you but didn’t know how, I feel terrible.”
I finally faced her, she looked ashamed “It’s okay Jay, it’s really none of my business.”
I walked out of the room and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.
Fast forward to a few weeks later, I woke up from another nightmare. I forgot to take my sleeping pills that night. And I scared Jamilla, she said I was screaming “Stop, stop, get off of me!” I just broke down into tears, she walked over to my bed and hugged me really tight.
“It’s okay Iwa, calm down and take a deep breath” I did just that and I felt a bit relieved.
“I have something that will calm your nerves”
She walked over to her side of the room, opened her draw and pulled out a blunt.
“No Jay I can’t, I’ll be fine.”
“Chill Iwa, it’s not a big deal. I used to have nightmares very similar to yours and this has been my saving grace.” She held up the blunt before me.
I heard my Mommy’s voice in my head “Remember the child of whom you are.”
I suddenly found strength and authoritatively refused “No Jay, I am not smoking that!”
She looked scared and quickly walked over to her bed, I turned to face the wall and prayed that sleep would overwhelm me soon.
Unfortunately, I had another nightmare two weeks after that. This time it was too scary, it felt so real. Jamilla came to my rescue again and when she offered me the blunt this time I couldn’t resist. I needed to escape from reality.
At first I kept coughing, right when I was about to give up Jamilla encouraged me to take another puff and I got the hang of it. It became our daily routine. Before you knew it I was going to clubs with her, even had my first drink with her.
On one of our drunken nights, I opened up to her and told her what happened on December 7, 2007. I had never told anyone before. I cried throughout the narration as she held my hands. At the end of my story, I found myself in her arms. We both cried on each other’s shoulders. She had been raped too, but it was her cousin that committed the unforgivable offense. We cried until our shirts were soaking wet. We fell asleep in each other’s arms.
After that day, I started having some weird desires to be in her arms everyday. I couldn’t explain it. I just loved the way it felt, to be able to open up to someone and for them to understand how you felt. I was confused and I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings. I decided to ignore them and focus on other things.
It was a Saturday night, and as usual we were going clubbing. I found the tightest and shortest outfit and threw it on. Jamilla and I met up with some friends and danced the night away. I lost count of how many drinks I had, I discovered that I had one too many when I found myself in the bathroom vomiting into the toilet. Jamilla saw me and said it was time to go.
I don’t remember how we got back to our dorm room. But I did remember finding myself in our bathroom vomiting yet again.
“Iwa, get it together!” She lifted me off the floor.
“Come let’s get you cleaned up.”
She proceeded to take off my soiled clothes and put on the shower for me. I couldn’t stand straight so she held me up with one arm as I attempted to scrub my body. Afterwards, she tucked me in bed and proceeded to clean the mess I made. I drifted up to sleep in no time.
However, I was awaken by another nightmare momentarily, this time Jamilla didn’t wake up. I was so scared so I joined her in her bed. As I slid beside her, I collided into her naked body, she shifted and opened her eyes. She smiled at me and kissed me with her liquor laced breath, I tried to fight her off but she was too strong.
What had I done?