Bleedin’ Louboutin – Part 11

A picture is a secret about a secret
The more it tells you, the less you know

I should be comfortable. In sheets of egyptian cotton, Four Squared hotel felt like home. It was already 10pm when I got to my room because the traffic was just as bad as when I left the office with Dennis. I was already exhausted, and after an hour drowning my whole day in a long hot bath, I should be asleep.

But I stayed awake, and tossed and turned in discomfort.
I had seen Jide the moment I walked into that church. He was one of those officials showing people where to seat. There was no way I would have missed him. Seeing him proved to me just how stuck I was. Every where I turned, someone made me sad.

I kept on churning it in my mind. What did he mean by check the scholarship accounts? It was a sick joke we played in school. We would hack the school account and pull up peoples files. It was rather petty, but I liked to know the financial stands of a racist who looked down on me because I was black.

Curiousity got the better part of me, and I soon found myself connecting to the hotel wifi.

“Nice one Jide. You win. What is with the scholarship accounts?” I said, biting my nails. I tasted fresh acrylic and decided against nail biting.

I logged into the schools server, and entered a few bypass codes like Jide taught me.

New students had been admitted for research courses. I pulled up my set. The previous set. I had a feeling I knew what I was looking for. I just didnt know it yet.

After a few minutes of surfing, and pulling up peoples files and memories of brief moments spent with some of them, I noticed Jide wasn’t a scholarship student. I dug deeper, and I found right there in black and white, that Jide’s fees were paid in full on the same day as mine, by the same sponsor. Mum.

My facebook messenger buzzed and I ignored it.

What did mum have with Jide? Why would she pay his fees? My head was whirring in so many thoughts. She had never seen eye to eye with Jide. How did they cook up the plan to pretend he won a scholarship? How did I start nursing the desire to travel with Jide to Canada? How was it implanted in my head without my knowledge?

Facebook buzzed again and I was forced to check it this time.

I had a message from Anna Banner.

I didnt know who that was or when I accepted her request, but I needed to answer her in order to continue my research.

ANNA BANNER: Hello

ANNA BANNER: Hello

ANNA BANNER: Hey

ANNA BANNER: u der?

SIMS JOHNS : hlo

ANNA BANNER: Its me

SIMS JOHNS : God? or Anna Banner? I dont know either of you

ANNA BANNER: Its Jide. You blocked my fb acct. I created this months ago to talk to you

SIMS JOHNS: This is creepy and desperate. Are you sure new girl keeps you happy?

I wish I could retract that. He would know I’m still hurt. I thought to myself, but Jide sent me a long message, and since I didnt have the chance to cut him short or walk away, I had no choice but to read.

ANNA BANNER: Incase you didn’t get me. Incase you forgot the pwrd to Delhousie uni accts. Before you block me after this. Hear me out.
Your mum paid my fees. I wasn’t on scholarship like I/we made you believe. She made me sign a contract that I wouldnt come close to you once we cme back.
She paid me to leave you. It was against my will. She has thugs. I couldnt say no. I thought you knew about it until you came to my house. I miss you. Pls say something…

ANNA BANNER: Hey

ANNA BANNER: u der?

I didn’t reply. I deactivated my facebook account, and curled up in my bed, counting sheep.
I needed to go to bed because reality was getting scarier than I thought. I had nothing to say to Jide. All his message translated to me, was that I was only worth a few millions to him. And his education meant more to him than I did.

That man never loved me. I was grateful to Dennis for taking me to church.



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