When you hear a knock on your door, you will rise from this shallow depth and find yourself sitting at the park.
You will be with friends, laughing and enjoying life, and then you will be found, again.
A tall dark stranger will approach you, with a bottle of Coke in his hand. You will be surprised how he knew- that you are thirsty, thirsty in your soul.
He will be the man that will make you forget your husband to be, who died seven months ago in an auto-crash, just a day to your wedding. The one you made a vow with, even before any mention of the altar; a vow made with blood!.
He will stop on the way from work and buy you roses. He will never be tired of opening his car door for you to come in. He will hold the seat out for you each time you go out for dinner. And when you two go out to party, you will be the one to force him to dance, for he will be a terrible dancer. He will dance anyway, at least to amuse you and also for the joy he will feel seeing laughter brighten your face.
You will make love to him for the first time one night.
Then, the following night, he will promise to come meet you at home after work. He will promise to be there by 8 P.M. But he will not make it. It will be a heavy rainy night with thunder and lightening punctuating your every fear. You will try his number but it will not be reachable. You will hope it is the rain that is the cause of his lateness. But you will know that something has gone wrong!
By 11 P.M., your heart will be torn apart, a sense of lost will overwhelm you. You will recoil back to yourself. The shadows that have pinned you down the past seven moons will visit you again. But before long, your heart will start pacing, pumping harder because you know his footsteps, he will be running back to you.
“Suzzy!” He will shout, his voice high above the thunder crash.
You will look through the window, and see him in the rain, downstairs banging at your gate. The dogs on the street will bark at him, but he will not back down.
You will run bare foot down the stairs. The rain water dropping from the ceiling will make you slip as you take double steps. You will roll down the spiral stair-case, fall hard and hit your head against the concrete pavement. But you will be too joyful to notice your bruised knee and the blood trailing down your forehead. To do an X-ray afterwards will not even cross your mind. You will limp towards the front gate, and you will see him already on the fence. Jack, your Landlord’s local breed dog will bark at him, daring him to come down. He will come down anyway when he sees you, and Jack will charge towards him but he will stand, feet rooted to the ground. He will release a stunt kick to the head of Jack, just when it is in mid-air, which will send the carnivore onto the wet floor- mouth ajar, taking in the cold rain water to chill.
His flexed face muscles will then relax, twist into a smile as you run towards him. He will lift you up, and you will bend down your head to kiss his lips. In the rain you two will be, drenched, making your nakedness transparent in your thin, white, cotton night gown. He will hold you very tight as if the rain water will melt you away from his arms. After your lips part; as soon as he lifts you down; immediately after you two breathe and laugh aloud. He will go on his knees, down into the pool of water, and it will look awkward to you.
“A gentleman goes only on one knee” You will say.
“I’m pleading for forgiveness on one knee for coming late…there was traffic, then my car broke down and I had to run!” He will reply.
You will smile, one that will send a flush down your skin.
“So, why the other knee?”
“I want you to marry me…marry me Suzzy, please…”
You will shout “Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! I will marry you! I shall marry you!”
And the Thunder will chorus heaven’s Amen, while the lightening will capture the moment with a flash.
You will stretch forth your fingers and ask, “So, where is the ring?”
He will stand up and scratch his head
“I left it in the car…”
But you will embrace him, and then kiss him anyway.
More rain will pour, and pour and pour.
You two will take your vows and make forever promises before God and men at a beautiful green garden, graced by the sunlight. The wedding ring on your finger will reflect the brightness of the morning sun. In the sunlight, you get to dry the tears that had dropped on your pillow day and night. The shadow over you shall fade away.
When you hear a knock…
* * *
There is a knock on the door…
“Yes?” Ask Ma
That’s it…the knock at the door! Shhhhh…listen…
“Is Suzzy at home ma?” It’s Anabel, who should have been the Chief bride’s maid.
“Will she like to see us today?” Bimbo, the one who had promised to pick up the flower when the bride throws it- she’s married now!
Ma laughs sadly, “she’s been home for the past seven months…but I doubt today is the day she comes out for a little sunshine”
* * *
All you need do is to stand up and follow your married friends, who have found time out of none for you.
But of course, like every other day in those seven months, I will never let you go!
I am Dee, and you are stuck with me!