Thinking Out Loud

Hey, NS fam! It’s always a privilege to have my article published on this site, and I must confess, I’m most eager to read your comments**big grin **.

So, I’m very sure that whilst most of you may not be teenagers, each and everyone of you was once between the ages of 13- 19 (Even if you’re a fairy or a mythical creature of some sort **lol**) You know how excited and indomitable every Nigerian teenager feels when they’re done with high school? Well, that was a perfect picture of me a few years back; with the perfect make up, voluminous weaves, high heeled pair of shoes and a sophisticated demeanour; I was literally basking in cloud number-nine.
Then came the wait for the finalisation of my admission process. I ought to have travelled to the UK for that, but plans changed. A few months later, I was within the confinements of another learning institution ;it’s funny how we’re supposed to send six years in high school, just to come out with flying colours and gain entry into another learning institution requiring an additional four years of our lives ** smh..I’m not the best fan of school, right? Guilty as charged! **

I’m a sophomore in a private institution now and I must confess, it’s been a great experience thus far. But, there are a few perks here and there that have always made me quite baffled. This has given my friends the weird notion that I must be pixie fairy of some sort, or a mystical creature who was born and bred in a snow globe. You may be wondering what this bone of contention could be about right now. Please shut your eyes for one minute, and think of one of the most controversial and ethical issues that’s trending right now. Feel free to open your eyes when you’ve arrived at a specific conclusion.

It’s all about Chastity, guys! And, I would most definitely love to know what your opinions are on the issue. Should youngsters be sexually active? Almost all of my friends are, and they’re barely nineteen. In my institution, as is common with most higher learning institutions, it’s regarded as a norm, and specific code of conduct for almost all students. Talking about it with most of my friends causes them to stare at me with a weird face or even totally distance themselves from me for several hours.

In my institution, it’s what almost all relationships are about. The guys all want it, and they would never even try to that fact from the girls that they are supposedly ’ in love ‘ with, only the naïve ones may be spared from such details. In most movies I’ve watched, the guys dresses better, visits the salon to get his hair trimmed, purchases a new bottle of perfume and walks around all day with a dictionary or an encyclopaedia, until he has memorised the necessary terminologies and registers required for him to express his feelings to the girl he truly loves. But, it’s alarming to know that some guys no longer deem this fit or necessary. They ask you out using bizarre words and phrases they’ve picked up from Nigerian songs, dress irresponsibly, stare at what’s on your chest and behind you all the time, and expect you not to look at them with a disgusted visage. ‘How on earth could that be possible? ‘Even a suckling child would be able to foretell the end of such ‘relationship’. Not so?

I was alarmed to discover that most of my peers are sexually active, and have been that way for years. Every Friday night, they find a way to sneak from the hostel with their purses stocked and seething with condoms, caplets of ref, and any additional stimulating substance they can find. They return the next day, and recount their tales of how they met a fairy tale prince on a sojourn to planet earth, and how they tore their legs apart for him because they knew he was ‘ the one’ they had been waiting for all their lives. They’re plunged into a maudlin state a few weeks afterwards, cause,’ prince charming ‘ has turned out to be not so charming after all. And, this strange occurrence keeps going on and on in that direction.
Why should relationships supposedly based on love be all about sex? Why can’t we wait for the one who was specially crafted for us from heaven? Why shouldn’t these young guys take time to become better husbands and to their wives instead of touring campus for every new chick who would be willing to let them ‘get some‘. I guess it’s one of the adverse effects of westernization sha; cause almost all the American teen series that are hits hits in the Nigerian market all revolve around sex, baby mamas, drugs etc. I actually feel that if any guy doesn’t even try to improve himself, or act as a sophist, or even employ some sort of Machiavellian intelligence to get a girl, it’s definitely because he feels she’s cheap and unworthy of such time and attention. Whilst employing the last two options mentioned above is wrong, it at least depicts the teenage guy trying to ‘show some hustle, and work for it ‘.

I’m most certainly not a feminist. I believe God fashioned Eve from Adam because he felt that we were supposed to run this world together, so, who am I to think otherwise? I just believe that we were created to subdue earth, and then, procreate. I wasn’t created by God to become any man’s sex slave or machine, and I don’t need a dildo to maintain my resolve. What’s the use of dipping your hand into the cookie jar when you can’t have any of those little glazed temptations? Such scenario would best be likened to that of a man touching the ‘forbidden fruit’ all day without any intention to dig his teeth in; believe me, he would sooner or later. Some of you may think I’m an idealist, and I wouldn’t quite agree with that. I just believe the world would be a better place if we just worked on some of these ethical issues that are eating deep into our society .I urge you all to please mentor, teach and educate every teenager and young person around you on sex, chastity and other ethical issues that are plaguing the society presently. You would never know what your little niece/ nephew/sibling has been up to in school if you don’t make enquiries or talk to them in this light. Thanks for reading ! ** Written by a teenager who’s just thinking out loud **

13 thoughts on “Thinking Out Loud” by I am Elizah (@Elizah)

  1. @elizah Hehehehe….as a fellow teenager i know exactly what you mean.. From secondary school, boys nd gurls re alrdy picturing how awesome their sex life will be in the university.. in sec school sef most have already started.. I’m a gurl so i know how hard it can be not to do what everyone else is doing.,the music nd movies dat teengers re exposed to have really done damge.. Trust me i know.. Parents should really talk to theiR children instead of pushing dem away.. Btw being a feminist is not a bad thing.. It simply means that you’re a person who believes in the equality of the sexes..or do you have a problem with that? Feminsts dont necessarily believe that eve didn’t come from adam.,,, they just believe that women shudn’t be treated like trash regardless of how they were created.. Men nd women re human beings who have equal rights. You said feminist as tho its a bad thing.. And i disagree. It’s not a bad thing to want Women to be treated properly.. #proudtobeafeminist Oh nd i don’t think we were just made to subdue d earth nd procreate.. After all paul in the bible did not marry.. I think we were created to win souls for jesus. So its not all about procreating.. Nd yes i know my comment is kinda long. Lol.

  2. Thanks for stopping by dearie @screaming viola… Most feminists I’ve encountered come across to me as misogynists of some sort..I guess that was why I came to that overall conclusion… procreation doesn’t necessarily mean physical reproduction by sexual means..Paul didn’t get married….but his letters to the Churches in Corinth, and other geographical places still live on.. In my opinion, he has procreated men and woman who share the same belief in the lordship of Christ.. That’s what I mean by that. It’s a privilege dear! Thanks for commenting.

  3. Mistake.. I meant # misandrists…not misogynists

    1. Thanks dearie #screamingviola

  4. @elizah i now fully understand what you meant nd yr reasons for yr statements. Thanks for taking the time to explain to me the true intent of your words. Glad you didn’t curse me or something.. Might hve gone a little too hard on the feminist rant but its all good…. Oh nd i really enjoyed yr piece.. Keep writing!

    1. Thanks for stopping by#maggiesmart…I think you’re a great writer…You rock dearie!

  5. Well, short of wearing chastity belts and padlocking the ‘instruments’ and throwing the keys away, I don’t think much can be done.
    It’s so sad but there’s a lot of glamour around sex now. It’s in songs and it’s in the movies. You can only hope to hold on to your beliefs.
    And, contrary to what is evident, there are still some people out there like you, hanging on with their teeth. Keep on keeping on.

    1. Thanks dear #Eminefoh

  6. You made it so informal and conversational. This is a wonderful technique. Nice expression

  7. Nice piece @elizah i respect your views and like the way you expressed them.. Being a teen is being on the road to self discovery, it is a time of experimenting, its a time when we feel the passion and energy to do anything. Teens experience world in different ways, some are geeks, athletes, singers others addicts of some sort. It is not uncommon for teens to be impulsive. So on the question of wether a teen should be sexually active is up to the teenager. It is totally normal for teens to have urges, feelings, impulses and want to experiment on their sexuality and other areas of life. These so called “experiments” make or break lives. The principal thing here is understanding. Teens shouldn’t have to go through all these alone. Parents should do more in giving orientation on how to manage teenage urges, also have good relationships with teens and keep open minds concerning the affairs of teenagers, not being so judgemental and expecting teens to act like adults. In my opinion teenagers should experiment in all areas of their lives and discover themselves and the world, however these *experiments* should be guided and controlled so that lives will not be broken. As for sex…it is not a bad experience even for teenagers as long as both parties practice it safely, healthily and correctly. So teens enjoy your teenage life and still come out victorious………..I may have sounded ungodly @ d end and m sorry if u don’t agree, was just givin my honest opinion..chao

    1. Lool… I admire your sincerity and openness # emmy-vic
      …its always nice to hear someone speaking from another perspective…I’m glad that you also agree about the guidance of parents,and how necessary it is.

  8. It’s always a gladdening thing to see a youth who believes that principle is not old-fashioned, and morality is not a dull topic. I sincerely hope you keep at it, @elizah , knowing always that your discipline and self control is for your own peace of mind; and not letting the possibility that your future romantic interest may not have excercised similar discipline in their lives, to dishearten you or make you lose your zeal for chastity.

  9. @elizah first of all, I like the way you made your opinions in this post on a light note. We as humans are all entitled to our own individual opinions, just like you are. I do respect your opinion, although I am not a teenager.
    However, I am one of the few people who also believe in chastity. I do not think you should bother yourself with those who have lost their chastity and chase after men or women, thereby getting addicted to sex. Afterall, their lives belong to them and they can do whatever they deem fit because you are not going to live it for them in the long run. I do not think their wild, youthful exuberance should in any way be a problem to you or tempt you into changing your views. Stand by whatever principle or belief you have and stick with it and do not give in to people trying to convince you to do something against your volition. That’s what makes you a disciplined and principled person with integrity.
    Keep writing.

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