My sweet Cassie,
At the sound of your name, my heart pounded, and there was always the sudden strange feeling of powerlessness whenever my eyes met with yours. And every time I held your soft hand, I felt like I was sitting on the globe. Your smile tranquilized my heart, and your grief got me in low-spirits. You were my first crush, and then, I was only eight, while you were two years ahead.
Day and night, I fantasized endlessly about moments with you- imagining we were holding hands and flashing smiles at each other; imagining I was the super-hero who earned a warm embrace and a kiss from a beautiful princess, you, for saving her from the cruel hands of a horrible monster; imagining you, in the future, in a beautiful snow-white ball gown, and I, in a shimmering well-tailored black suit, walking side by side, along the isle with well-wishers left and right; imagining you and I, in a world in which was just the two of us, a world we owned.
You were Cassie, the new girl in my school, who happened to be in the same class, Primary Five, as I was, and I’ll never forget how heavily my heart thumped, the very first moment my eyes caught a glimpse of you. Your jet-black hair was very full, capping your oval face which featured calm innocent eyes that sat below thick dark eyebrows, and a narrow nose which was hooked few spaces above a small mouth that produced a tiny voice. You were thin, and beautiful.
It was barely two days, when your intellectual ability came to the knowledge of all the pupils in our class. You proved to be exceptionally brilliant, and we therefore, became arch academic rivals, as I was the best pupil in the class and you were a great challenge. It soon got us into a few fights over scores and some other academic rights and wrongs, which became the foundation of the best friendship ever. We played, we sang, we read, and walked about in company of each other, and soon, we were being referred to as husband and wife. We got mad at those who called us that, but deep within, I loved it, and I’m certain you had a twin of that feeling.
I’ll also never forget the saturday morning, when I greeted my parents, and they replied ‘good morning Cassie’. I was stunned and I wondered how they came to know about you and why they called me by your name. I was later told that I never stopped mentioning ‘Cassie’ and smiling in my sleep the previous night. I smiled. I was overjoyed when you told me a week later, that you had had the same kind of experience. Our friendship was really beautiful, Cassie, and I just wish I could turn back the hand of time, as it went extinct, just as soon as it became extant.
I was so cold the first day you were absent from school. Nothing interested me, and even my food tasted bland. I wished I could fast-forward the day, so that the next day would come quickly, but no, I couldn’t. But then, tuesday came, and wednesday, and you were absent still. I was sure then, that that something was wrong, I was sure that something wasn’t adding up. I became worried-sick, I became afraid.
It was during the morning assembly the next day, that we heard the news: The new Primary Five pupil had passed away while suffering from an ailment that had begun during the weekend. For a moment, I felt numb, and then I could feel my heart tearing apart, and my world shattering in pieces, uncontrollable balls of tears racing down my cheeks. A hand came on my shoulder as I sniffed in sobs, it was Geoffrey’s, he was next to me, in our line-up at the assembly. I didn’t get the rest of the details, as my emotions had enraptured the whole of me.
For the rest of that day, I wasn’t myself. My reddened eyes were badly swollen and hurting, and my head felt like it was splitting in two. I was devastated. You were gone, our one month old friendship had come to an end. And although it might sound ridiculous, the wound your departure inflicted in my heart hasn’t healed completely, even as I am now eighteen.
Dear Cassie, I know you are resting peacefully in the bossom of The Lord, and Satan couldn’t have come an inch close, because you had such a peaceful and spotless heart, one filled with the purest love. I know you can hear me, and I can percieve that you are smiling, because I can feel a sort of extra-ordinary peace of mind, as I write.
I miss you, and forever will love you. Rest well, until the time that we see again.
And with a wry smile, Raymond soaked up the ball of tear racing down his cheek, and closed his diary. It was the thirtieth day of November, and on this day every year, he did something in memory of Cassie, his first crush. And so, today, he wrote.