Back To December

Red-Leaves-Dark-Forest-Fall-HD-Wallpaper_Vvallpaper.NetWhen the world seems grey and the roses feel black, They’ll tell you “everything will be okay,” on the steps of Graveson yard they’ll whisper it to you. But they won’t tell you how the hurt will rip through the seams of your heart and leave a heavy stone on your chest. They won’t tell you how in the middle of most nights you’ll wake up with throaty quiet screams because a piece of your soul is missing. No, they won’t tell you how on cold Sunday mornings, you’ll wake up and feel as though you have nothing to live for; you’ll wrap yourself with layers and layers of clothing but you wont feel any warmth, you’ll punch your fists to the wall again and again and again until droplets of blood fall to the floor and your knuckles start to bleed out pain. Four months later they’ll come to your apartment and drag you from your bed. “Time heals all wounds” they’ll say, “Do yourself a favor and move on”. They’ll invite you for a family Christmas dinner party but you won’t attend, instead you’ll stroll past Graveson yard and you’ll think of Christmas, you’ll think of her. The memories will cruise through your brain and you’ll find yourself back at December.
“Can you smell Christmas?” she had asked, smiling the first time she met you in December. “No” you had replied, you didn’t understand what it meant to smell Christmas, you didn’t understand why she had such an enchanting smile, why she even decided to talk to you – a simple guy with a boring life, but still she smiled. And perhaps that was it, perhaps that was why you followed her home after school, that was why you wrote her name on any piece of paper you could find. you wanted to watch her smile forever, you wanted to spend every December with her, you wanted to smell Christmas. Later when she would lie by your side on cold Sunday mornings, you would feel a sort of warmth that no layer of clothing could give to you and you would tell her that if December was a person then it was her.
But you won’t always find yourself in December. Sometimes you’ll forget things about her and then you’ll hate yourself for forgetting. When you’ll forget it’ll be like a blank space in your head. On a Tuesday you’ll forget her favorite song – another blank space. Memories are all you’ll have left of her and you’ll be afraid that with time all you’ll really have left of her is blank spaces.
You never keep newspapers but later you will. You’ll keep the one you’ll see the day after a cold Sunday that’ll read DRUNK DRIVER KILLS YOUNG WOMAN. You’ll hold it tightly to your chest as though your life fragments are lost inside it. You’ll stare at the newspaper for months until the sharp needles of revenge push through your soul. You’ll travel to Lagos just to see him, you’ll tell yourself “I only want to know who did it.” But you won’t know when you find yourself pointing a shaky gun at the man who took her from you.
“Please don’t kill me” he’ll say, “I have a family if you want money I can give you that, just don’t shoot!”
“Shut up!” you’ll reply, “I don’t need your money. Do you remember December?”
“I don..i don’t reall..know what you’re talking about.”
You’ll hit his head with the gun, look deep into his eyes and scream to his face “Drunk driving accident last December, you killed a young woman, her name was Tejiri Adetobi. You took her from me”
He’ll pause and look at you as warm tears will form wavy lines on his cheeks. He’ll beg you to take his life, He’ll say “everyday that I walk the streets, I carry the heavy load of being a murderer. I wish every single second that I could turn back time and go back to December. But I can’t. there’s nothing I can say that’ll ever be good enough, no amount of sorry’s or forgive me’s. I accept my fate. If you want to kill me, its okay I deserve it. But please do it fast.”
You’ll want to pull the trigger but then you’ll ask. “Why were you drunk?”
“I had just lost my job, life felt meaningless and so I figured I get drunk, I’m so sorry, but I think I’ve been waiting for this day. So please don’t waste anymore time. Pull the trigger, its okay.”
You’ll want to scream that he is a monster and an idiot but the words wont come out, the words will hang in your throat, the veins in your neck will taut out like strings on a guitar because your voice is about to break, because the words are not even your own. You’ll make sure his cranium can feel the mouth of your gun and you’ll tell yourself that its for the best and this is the only way to move on. but just when you’re about to pull the trigger, you’ll hear her favorite song – the one you forgot playing in a nearby restaurant. You’ll feel the gun fall out of your hand and then you’ll scream to the man to go. you’ll collapse unto the cold pavement unable to do anything else because all you can think of is her.
You don’t like grave yards but later you will. You’ll spend a lot of days in Graveson yard, wishing and praying that she’ll at least whisper to you. Every month you’ll write letters and leave it on her tombstone. You’ll remember how she would always tease you because you couldn’t get over the fact that her favorite song was coldplay’s yellow. You’ll lie in Graveson yard and when the rain is falling you’ll beg God to let you die in your grief. Years later when the world will start to seem yellow and the roses will start to feel red again, the heavy stone will slide away from your chest and your heart will start to close up. You’ll play her favorite song before going to bed and suddenly you won’t find yourself screaming in the middle of the night. On cold Sunday mornings, you’ll go to church and you’ll feel purpose and warmth in your heart. Your knuckles will start to heal and pain will become dust.
But every December you’ll still go back to Graveson yard, with a new letter, your heart still yearning for a whisper. But now what your heart yearns for is butter, you don’t care about whispers, you don’t know what the future holds. So now you’re happy, you’re in love with her and you think there’s nothing anyone can do about it. You don’t know that your world is about to be smashed into a hundred different pieces. Now you’re at a family Christmas party and you’re dancing and she’s telling you that she’s pregnant and she just won the common wealth short story competition. She’s telling you that she loves you and she wants to be with you forever. you’re kissing her all over and you’re imagining your future together. The photographer takes another picture and you’re laughing in it because you put butter all over her face. later when you’ll cry on Friday nights your hot tears will wet that picture so much – it’ll become paper. But now Everything feels yellow, you’re in a reality that you think is safe from the hands of death. You don’t know, that this will be the last December you spend with her.
p.s I’ve never seen a 2nd Pov story written almost entirely in future tense so I thought I’d try my hands on this..its sort of an experiment. ( would really love to know if I did it well so please share your comments)



19 thoughts on “Back To December” by screamingviola (@screamingviola)

  1. Wow, Wow, Wow….

    Excellent!

    I’m short of words @screamingviola

    Only if I could go back to December and have a last dance with my friend Ovakp again.

    This is a beautiful piece….experiment, well done!

  2. thank you @ojestar sometimes we don’t really know what we have until we lose it..and then we find ourselves wishing….

  3. This really really and truly was epic. I saw me, I felt like the writer because I’ve started to write in 2nd pov too and this hit home, like something I would write. It makes me really proud of you, you’ve done a wonderful job here. You’re a beautiful writer!!! I’m truly fascinated,alright?

    And I thought I could write, but you see, we learn each day from others.

  4. @ufuomaotebele thanks for the comment. it’s always nice when a fellow writer appreciates what you are trying to do in a story. and yea writers are always from learning from each other. i got some real subtle complexity from your story – running still. would love to read a story from you that’s written in 2nd pov. thanks again

  5. I just learnt an important lesson about writing, it’s beautiful dear. It takes lots of courage to venture into writing as second person’s POV.

    I think I need to improve my writing, I wasn’t doing a good job or was I?

    Well done!

  6. Beautiful. Nice tale, nice delivery. I like your style of writing.

    Try to improve on typing e.g it’s not really cool when a sentence starts with a small letter.

  7. Well written. Well thought out, heart-felt way of expression and all that good stuff.

    2nd person POV on fleek. It worked well.

    Lack of spacing made reading it a drag.

    Is it just me, or towards the end it seemed like you were talking about a present second girl somewhere in the past of the guy’s predicted future?

  8. @anakadrian uh I think its just you..lol. There was no second girl.the girl talked about in the last paragraph of the story is the same girl the guy loses in the future.
    As per the spacing, I corrected that before submitting for review but it didn’t show in the story. I was so pissed off when I saw it.

    1. Ohk. Your shift to present tense was so sudden, then.

  9. @namdi i corrected all these things before submission o I really don’t know what happened. But thanks anyway constructive criticism is always welcomed

  10. @gereochuko thanks for the comment. everyone needs to improve on their writing , even I need to improve on my writing. I’ve read yr abducted series and I tot it was cool.

  11. @screamingviola I almost screamed when I read this. You are a very good writer and this piece shows your versatility.
    I thought there was a second girl too but then I saw it’s still the same person. Well done.

  12. @maggiesmart thanks for the comment

  13. Need I say I enjoyed every bit of this? I’m on my bed n I fekt like I just read thru a movie, you know? Like one of ’em “The Notebook”. Beautiful piece,delivered nicely. Thumbs up! @screamingviola

  14. @mayree thanks a lot for stopping by…

  15. those kind of piece that you just have to hit ‘save page’ so you can read over and over again..

    Nice one,!! Scream on!! @scremingviola

  16. those kind of piece that you just have to hit ‘save page’ so you can read over and over again..

    Nice one,!! Scream on!! @screamingviola

  17. @teesaint thanks a lot for the comment. hope you will join me to scream o. p.s welcome to naijastories.com

    1. @screamingviola thank you 4 d welcoming
      And we are sure screaming our lungs out together! :-)

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