I found your body hanging from a rope; suspended from the ceiling fan by the noose done tightly around your neck. I didn’t bother trying to push your legs up, or get you down, once I noticed the wet patch that had already formed on the crotch of your trousers. I looked at you for a while, and I asked myself what it was that could have driven you to do this; then I saw your note.
It’s a tad cliché, leaving a suicide note, don’t you think? And besides, those who don’t care enough about you; who, for you, made life such an unreasonable thing to consider striving for; at least, even if just for one more day, are probably never going to be bothered enough to read it. So, the aim is somewhat defeated, I guess. But you’re dead now, so what does it matter to you?
No, I don’t see it as so horrible; suicide. I don’t see it being anything near as horrible as getting crushed to death in a car accident, or being dragged through the streets, beaten with sticks and set ablaze by an angry mob that doesn’t want to confirm if you’re innocent of the crime you were accused of. I only wish you could have waited a little longer, so that I could at least get to tell you what I have in mind, instead of standing here and staring at your toes.
What a waste. From your note, I could determine that you were not an unintelligent man; and I could also deduce that you were a man of some means. Now, the riches you possessed shall most likely be coveted by the very people, family and friends, that despised you.
I would have much preferred you stay alive to be that selfless person the world is in dire need of; being good for its own sake, accepting that there is so little reward these days for altruism. You’d probably even get laughed at for being “stupid” or “gullible”, and you’d most likely be called a “maga” more than a few times; but since you were tired of life anyway, I suppose you were anticipating no reward, so it’s still in order then. I wish you could have stayed alive to just keep doing good for goodness sake.
People will be blessed by every good thing you do, and probably be moved to do good to others in return. It’s quite unfortunate that good people (**let me go out on a limb here, and assume you were one**) often meet, and are taken for granted, or generally treated like crap, by people who don’t know the value of what they have. Now, those same people; having so ill-used these noble ones, would go around crying that there are “no good men left”… And indeed, if every good guy was to go ahead and pick up a noose like you, those shitty people would eventually be correct whenever they say that.
I wish you had waited one more day. One more day, at least, to think it through. It may seem quite logical, ending an enterprise of which you no longer have any interest in, but considering that you’d still have ended up dying anyway, why fast-forward your time for death when you could have been out being awesome instead? Travelling, meeting much better people, writing a book, cooking and eating gourmet style, learning how to code and develop software, sitting in your living room all day, playing Halo, or Call of Duty or God of War, bamboozling a random stranger in the street by parking a brand new car at a corner, walking up to them, handing them the keys and transfer of ownership documents, and then leaving without a trace.
But what can I say? You’re already dead. Perhaps you had pursued these escapisms, and eventually got tired of them all.
I can’t promise you I’ll get your news across to your mother though, because if you did love her, like you claim, as you know she loved you; and if you were still bent on botching, despite her love for you; then you could have at least had the courtesy of waiting for her to go first.