When I was younger, I used to hear people complain about how conji wanted to kill them. Then, I used to find it extremely funny, so I would laugh and laugh until tears came out from my eyes, because even though I couldn’t quite understand what ‘having conji” meant, the word was just jocose but as God would have it, I grew up and it was no longer a laughing matter.
In short, Conji became a constant companion and there was no avoiding it.
I also came to realize through what I’d seen, heard and experienced that Conji is not a respecter of persons. Imagine sitting in a commercial bus, and the guy who had been sitting next to you has been eyeing the thighs of the girl also sitting next to him. When it was then time for him to get down from the bus, his ‘machine gun’ had stood along with him and greeted all of you in the bus…. in Urhobo.
So my people forget that thing, it doesn’t matter if you are a pastor jawe(wait! were you thinking your pastor doesn’t suffer conji too? Yimu! Stay there and be jonzing, even God is very much aware) or Imam, deaconess, spiritual brother or sister. As long as blood flows from your head to the lower part of your body, you are bound to experience Conji and there is nothing sinful or shameful about it.
Well for those who still don’t know what conji means, here is my simplified dictionary definition:
Conji: \kōn-gi\, kōn-ji n. [ konji, kongy, kongi, congy, congi] Ninja slang. Invented: Since the days of our forefathers
1: Immense sexual urge
2: the need for instant kpokus(see definition here)
e.g Omo, my conji just no wan let me see road; Guy, na conji dey worry you; Aya! na conji…pele..take heart.
So as a human, it is perfectly normal to feel “conjirized”. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, I think it is what even makes us humans. It is what differentiates us from a walking corpse. As long as you have passed puberty and have grown tits and balls, you are bound to suffer conji at a point in your life. So please, if you know that you are passed sixteen and have never felt the need to stick that ‘thing’ somewhere or want that ‘thing’ in there, kindly go and book an appointment with a gynecologist or an endocrinologist o. It’s very important. It could save your life.
Don’t say I didn’t tell you o!
But then, research had shown that as one grows older, the pressure of conji starts to reduce. It is not that it would no longer be there, mbah… the pressure would just be minimal especially for the men. They will start finding it difficult to get turned on or keep their ‘thing’ standing for a long time, which we all know is bad market. For the women, menopause sets in and that is the end of the marra but now, there are new and improved medications to help with all of that. But still, abeg, if you were never considering marriage, start considering it now o because Conji my brothers and sisters, waits for no one.
However I’ve also learnt that people think that life is so much easier, even more beautiful and conji-free for those who have never had kpokus or done kpokus in their lives. A.K.A virgins; that only those who have done or experienced the act of kpokus are actually the ones who suffer conji and this is what I have to say on the matter:
Fafafa…..foul… Lies, from the pit of hell!
Who told you that? Them?
They are lying to you noni!
The fact that these people have never done the said ‘deed’ doesn’t mean they do not have hormones flowing through their veins. As a matter of fact, they are actually the ones who suffer it mostly, the only difference however is their ability to stay in control over those impulses unlike their counterparts, which by the way brings me to the heart of the discussion.
Is Conji really that difficult to handle? Is it really that powerful?
Because I’ve seen situations where conji has crowded people’s judgment and even deceived them into relationships which must have begun in the name of love, only for them to discover that all they really wanted was to have sex; which by the way seems to trump the whole idea of waiting till marriage.
Men’s sex drives I’ve learnt, come from their heads and in an article I read recently, women were even encouraged to have sex with their partners before marriage, just to be sure that their men weren’t just marrying them for their vagina and reproductive organs.
But then, is Conji that big of a deal? And must it be satiated because it is doing its job by alerting you that you have not had sex yet or in a while?
Some even use it as an excuse for their ill-actions; including but not limited to rape, domestic abuse & violence, child molestation, pornography. I’ve heard and seen situations where men beat their wives black and blue just because their wives were not in the mood to satisfy their conjies at the time they wanted it (however, I’d advise ladies never to starve their husbands of sex…don’t even try it. It would only backfire on you). People have even used it as an excuse to cheat or become unfaithful in their marriages. Some even blame their sex addiction to the fact that they cannot control their conjies. Young boys and girls now keep multiple partners just in case boo or bae is not available to satisfy their needs and I read somewhere how conji can even be a justifiable reason to indulge in masturbation.
But what’s your take my darlings? Do you think that Conji is really that powerful and cannot be controlled? If yes, please tell us why you think so but if no, kindly tell us how we can deal with this formidable force because I swear, Conji has undone a lot of people so I’ll really love to know your thoughts.
And please if you have or have seen any awkward situation orchestrated by almighty conji, kindly share…