Thirty Minutes

You have some free time on your hands, so you click on the link to a certain website. You begin to scroll through new titles, intending to read something, but you can’t find anything that holds your attention longer than the first few lines. You shortcut to the bottom of the page to see what’s up, but you see that no one has said anything new from the last time you were there a week ago.

You log out.

You begin to stare at the ceiling; at the rotating fan. You train your eye on one of the blades; watching its futile pursuit of the others in front of it. After a while you begin to blink your eyes rapidly to pretend that you’re slowing the fan down.

You know the problem is from you. You’re just bored and definitely not in the mood to do anything.

You walk to the fridge and hold the door ajar for a bit, mentally classifying the things inside each compartment into what’s about to spoil, what’s still fresh, and what you wish was there instead of what actually is.

Your eyes fall on a carton of yoghurt, so you decide to pour yourself a glass. It tastes sweet.

You begin to remember the sweat-faced and tired-looking market lady you’d haggled the price of the sixpack of yoghurt with, and also begin to wonder when last she’d tasted something like it; or if ever. Likewise the okadaman you’d flagged down when you decided it was time to go back home.

You know the problem is from you. You realise that people already have too much to think about on a good day, trying to survive, to begin to post spell-binding writeups or stories just for your benefit.

…least of all for free.

You go to sit at the desk. Then you get up to go to the couch. You pick up the remote control and begin to flick through the channels on cable television, but soon you begin to doze off.

You catch yourself. You stand up and walk around because you don’t want to fall asleep again, having been asleep all morning and for the most part of the afternoon; knowing that if you continue that way, you’d be left awake all night, staring.

You switch the television off. You know the problem is from you because it seems that even paid content doesn’t engage you.

So you go back to a certain website and decide to post what you just did for the past thirty minutes. You tag a few people, and you get over two hundred views; with ten comments commiserating with you on the all too familiar feeling of boredom.

One after the other you begin to reply them, and you do some jesting back and forth. In the meantime the views swell, and the comments as well. But then something strikes you as you continue to enjoy the banter with your readers; as with reply after reply you’re starting to get more and more entertained, but less and less sure that the problem was just from you.



27 thoughts on “Thirty Minutes” by anak adrian (@anakadrian)

  1. Interestingly scripted with a mind-dragging spirit…

    1. @anakadrian. OMG, this feels just like me. Nice one, love it.

      1. @danjuma its good hearing that, I tell you. It makes me feel less weird and out of place.

    2. Oshe! @innoalifa is back.

      inno baba… I no go lie you, you’ve really been missed. Thanks for stopping by.

      1. @anakadrian, oluwasheoooo….good to see that you’re becoming more literary sophisticated…..

  2. Yeah, interesting. Well done.

    1. much appreciated @chijy

  3. Chinekeme!!! This is the most creative piece I’ve read in weeks!
    @anakadrian
    Thanks for bringing me here.

    We make haste to do things in life and then face the fat problem of how to keep every moment interesting even though we know we can’t, because; “…we know the problem is always from us”.

  4. Lol…happens to me too, but my eyes do not trail ceiling fan blades though, instead my mind is the busy one, creating weird thoughts. No wonder they say ‘An idle man is the devil’s workshop…’
    Lovely, you ‘captured’ this well.

    Well done

  5. You nailed this mehn! Like you just read most of our minds, I’ve been in this act too. @innoalifa welcome back, you and @dees-hive went awol.

    1. Awol lwkmd!
      It’s good catching literary minds like @shovey still gurgling…..

  6. Let whosoever has not been in this situation before raise his/her hand and say aye. Anyone? Guess not.
    Got pleasantly exhausted just reading this. Anak, are you sure you haven’t been visiting my mind on those terrible days of lethargy????????????????? And this read quite different from your other works
    Thanks for tagging me. Enjoyed it

  7. Wowww nice writeup…keep writing dude just love the way you write.

    #thanks for tagging me am really honoured tho.

  8. Hahaha! I’ll choose not to comment on this further because I see I’ll be a part of the story. But then I already am in some way!

    And I’m back! I’ll read your past posts to catch up.

  9. Boredom is a small tyrant that holds you spellbound to minute and infinitesimal things that would make no sense on the end…
    It’s at this point that you’ll realise that THIRTY MINUTES is such a long time.
    The feeling is actually indescribable…it takes one experience to fully comprehend this write-up.

    Nice one brotherly.

  10. @anakadrian my guy, how body. E don tey small tho. When I logged in this evening n saw that tag, it built up anticipation n I wasn’t disappointed. Practical and relatable, with your trademark flow. More power to you Adrian.

  11. Hi Anak, thanks for tagging me. How are you now?
    The mood has probably shifted. Perhaps you are creating another memorable piece right now? All the best.
    Have a great day Anak.

  12. Feels like, you were narrating ordeals for that particular day. Its so true for so many of us!

  13. I’ve never been in this situation before… I don’t have a ceiling fan… I am never bored. The world is too fun for me to be bored. If I log in and there’s nothing interesting to read, I get out my laptop and write something interesting… or read an actual paper back book.

    But nethertheless, many people could relate to this piece… speaker of minds @anakadrian

    1. @anakadrian
      If my appreciation for your work was on a 5 before…it just doubled…ah ah, na you oh!
      I wish i wrote this – that’s how much i like it. The funny thing is, i was picturing your entire most creative account of idleness in my house. i.e I’ve been through almost an identical tour in times past, so all i had to do was replace the main character (previously me) with you. lol
      Nice one men. Your powers of prediction were spot on on this one. ;)

  14. Lol @anakadrian the most interesting write up on boredom yet…

  15. Damn, its been ages

  16. @anakadrian @omoniyi-adeshola abeg pm me ur whatsapp numbers, there’s a special group I wanna add u guys to. Right now, u guys are key to the group, I’ll explain later. Abeg, mazza mazza

  17. Like someone rightly said, this is the best piece on boredom yet… or the best I”ve read – it’s really nice. @anakadrian keep writing. @shovey thanks for mentioning me.

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