Joshua’s Diary : The Price I Now Pay!

Joshua’s Diary : The Price I Now Pay!

My success story is yet to unfold but would surely be
written and told, as for failure, rather failures, i have had
my share, i would tell them when my success
story sets in, d story i now tell, is the story of my
Faith, the brightest light that has kept me going
in d darkest nights. in d greatest hour of my
despair one morning, i picked up my pen & paper and wrote two articles LETTER TO MY
UNBORN SON & This:
THE PRICE I NOW PAY:
My name is Nwori Joshua and I am the world’s
most sorrowful young man on earth and the
world’s biggest Jerk. I sought for words that
could best describe this influx of emotions that
overwhelmed me while I wrote and they all
seemed to elude me, Life took away from me my
comfort, my happiness, my education, my hope,
my friends, my confidence and above all my pride,
you show me a successful young man who was
deprived all this and I’ll point at a million and one
of them in psychiatric homes, rehabilitation
centres, and prison homes. How I would dare and
survive life’s harsh realities still remains a
mystery but I do know one thing, of all the good
things life took from me it gave me a goldmine , it
gave me a father whose name would be carved in
bronze as a statue upon the gates of my heart
and my unborn children’s forever. A man who
deserves a better son in my stead. Before my twin
brother and I were born, we were already
graduates at 20, such was his lofty dreams
for this unworthy son that he gave up luxury to
pursue it’s fulfilment. But as I write I am past
that age, yet, not out of school, the blame? Fully
mine. I once had things smooth and easy, how I
miss those feelings,for I now know great pain,
despair, anxiety, and uncertainties. But one day
shall come When men would ask me, “What kept
you going, through those dark hours?” and I shall
be saying with a sigh, “remember that wise old
saying ‘nothing good comes easy, well, that gave
me faith. On that day I shall look back upon my
life, and see it as a learning threshold, equipped
with a library of incessant worries, unkept
promises, shattered fantasies and unfulfilled
dreams. Yet with all the odds starkly against me I
sought the principal thing. And that has left me
beaten and broken, tattered and haggard, bruised
and wounded, thus has left me with looks way
past my age.
Yet I have learnt to restrain front self pity, never
to cry over spilled milk, for I know now, all the
hair pulling and fussing in the world won’t bring
back a drop of it, so I have no more tears to shed
about the mistakes of the past . When I shall look
back upon the days of my youth and remember
the young men who were spared all I ever went
through, I shall harbour no envy whatsoever, for I
would have made my mark, they only would have
graced the earth. I would have lapped and with my
hands drank from the waters of life. They only
Have bowed upon their knees and sipped and so
can’t fight the battles I ever fought. I have seen, I
have tested and have known things, things unseen,
unexperienced and unknown to them. Still, I am
like that one that cried, “I am the wisest of all, for
I know one thing and that is that I know nothing.”
The gains of humility, the brightest light I saw iny
these dark hours. I get the wider picture now, for
I see clearly now, I see farther, the blots in my
eyes are washed away by my many tears. From
the great and renowned university of fatal blows, I
have learnt great philosophies, doctrines and
theories of life that no young man who have had
a rosy life ever possess. I know better now, never
to worry about tomorrow, that does more harm
than good, I hold on to my surest possession,
which is ‘Today ‘. The feeling of anxiety that the
worry of tomorrow brings with it have made even
the strongest falter. So I do all I can now to put
all this fears behind me because this experiences
has taught me that the things we fear the most
robs us of our present Joy, for most times they
never come to be, I now know that When the
days we fear comes, the ability and the cunning
to outwit them comes too.
Trifles no longer annoys me. I have seen my
whole world of happiness, of hope crushed and
trampled in ruins around me, nothing matters
again, I do not care much if I was once cheated,
it doesn’t matter if the soup is tasteless or if my
younger one didn’t lay the bed right. I have
longed borrowed the advise of Albert Einstein, in
that I now live my life, as if nothing was a miracle
yet live my daily life knowing everything Is a
miracle. One thing I have also learnt so far is
never to expect too much of people, even the
ones closest to me, so, easily I greet a betraying
friend with soul in my handclasp and give a warm
embrace to an old friend who back stabbed. I
have had to stay up most nights to weep, now
there’s plenty room for humour, show me a young
man who can approach disaster with a garment
of smile instead of anxiety, I will show you a
young man that can never be hurt much ever
again. I will never regret this fatal blows I received,
I will cherish this moments, for through them and
by them I sought to live a life worthy of
reference. I sought to be that son every dad
would wish to have.
Somewhere down the years I would remember
this day upon which I picked up this pen and
wrote, for I would have lived, I would have
touched humanity, thanks to the hard bricks life
threw at me, bricks with which I now lay the solid
foundation for my children unborn. No regrets, no
complains, I shall draw with the cup of Faith from
the wells of reward & success, and the price
which I now pay for that prize, is worth it, every bit!



4 thoughts on “Joshua’s Diary : The Price I Now Pay!” by Nwori Joshua (@Jtockzy)

  1. Hmmmmm! it is well. to be a man………. I feel this piece still need to go through another process of editing, noticed some errors and vague expressions. e.g **Before my twin
    brother and I were born, we were already
    graduates at 20, such was his lofty dreams
    for this unworthy son that he gave up luxury to
    pursue it’s fulfilment….. this isnot clear. also, you began with small i rather than I, tho you later used I. You can do better than this next time. keep writing.

  2. yeah. noted Dara, Thanks. the expession before i and my twin brother was born….meant, Our dad had planned as he told us,that by thw age 20, we’d be through with our university education. It workedoutf dt way wit my twin bro.

  3. @JTOCKZY. Nice one sad but also uplifting.

  4. @ Mamman yeah, thank you very much & i hope you learnt the lessons of Faith, Positive mindset, perseverance and humility, i intended the readers of this article to learn?

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