To The Women I Love

To The Women I Love

Standing between a three water course river
There abideth three abiding women
With whom i share my love deeply with
Yemisi to say the first was my love
And is still the very love of my life
When as a young fellow with naive instinct
We played together titillating our childish ego
But how fast flies the time-
She’s now a big sec in a big office
And here i stand joblessly labouring over my story
Yes mama
Mama Duru
As fondly called we chatted and played and even laughed together
Suddenly you left for east,
The west called for me and i heeded the command
Only to discover you meant more to me
Than just any lady
Not surprising one of the very ones you nutured
Evolving beneath your wings
Ekaette [pause]
Ekatte
For christ sake
leave me alone
Ink splatter all over my book
resembles you face
And like a dream
Half asleep
I discovered
These three are mere illusions of the mind



3 thoughts on “To The Women I Love” by samuel o-e (@benchmark)

  1. I think this piece is unfinished.

    There was no feeling to it. It read flat to me. It was as if you wanted to tell a story but didn’t want to write up a 750 words document so you settled for a 100 words of poetry. Now, I’m not saying that’s what you did but it read like it.

    You could have made little stanzas out of this. The part where you mentioned she was now a sec at a office was made me think overall this should have been a flash.

    I can’t say much on you can fix this. But before you write any other piece, read other poems on NS @omoniyi-adeshola has some if the most beautiful poems I’ve ever read!! Please read some of his works and let it guide you further.

  2. Almost all the elements of poetry was lacking here. in your work.

    You tried alot to tell a story. You lost something you never had or if I may say, loved soneone that didn’t regard it. I love the title, I just wish you had done more with it.

    I didn’t feel your pain, regret and hurt. That would been the ingredient to give this piece a kick. Keep on writing bro.

  3. I was feeling the flow and then you just stopped. A little more info on each woman then you ended it that they were figments of his imagination. So he’s crazy or did they not love him as he loved them? Mysterious poetry can be beautiful but this has a bit too much missing to be considered mysterious. It would be cool if you rewrote it because Im really fond of the format and flow it was taking on but the end left too much to be desired even for a poem.

Leave a Reply