Don’t Die a Virgin

(My Terrorism Journal)

dont-die-a-virgin-seriously-there-are-terrorists-waiting-for-you-up-there

Sura 5522

5523

Don’t die a virgin, terrorists are waiting for you in heaven.

I am every terrorist’s wet-dream girl. I have big, wide and beautiful/lovely/lustrous eyes, like pearls, just the way the Quran says in Surat Al-Wāqi`ah 56:22 – 23. I am tall, baby-faced (what the Hadith calls eternally young), complexion like that of Samantha Lewthwaite the terroristess, voluptuous and full-breasted. My boobs are large, round and not inclined to hang. I am everything that the Quran and Hadith promises terrorists would get when they die for Allah including an appetizing vagina (I think mine is) except I am not a houri (virgin), chaste, pure, and non-menstruating.

I escaped the terrorist’s bullet by a whisker on September 21, 2013. I was part of the cooking competition on the rooftop of the Westgate Mall in Westlands, Nairobi when al-Shabaab terrorists besieged it. At the moment it did not occur to me that I could make love to the same terrorist in heaven as his reward for killing me and other innocents for Allah’s cause. Perhaps he did not know that I was a virgin or it was just sheer luck that he did not sent me to wait for him in heaven.

When those who survived the Westgate Mall attack rush to shrinks to empty their traumatized minds as a way of dealing with the ordeal, I go to have sex. I am a student and strong believer of the Kama Sutra, and for me sex is a ritual of union with the gods.

I decided to break my virginity immediately after September 21, 2013 just in case I died I did not end up with a terrorist whom I will be expected to spread my legs for forever. Or where does their eternal supply of virgins come from in heaven? I imagine that they are girls who were virgins on earth and when they die they go to heaven and gets premium membership in a harem for terrorists. I wonder what happens to women mujahedeen. Do they too get seventy-two virgin men to screw her, forever?

I am still an under eighteen, but I have had more sex than my mother has had her entire lifetime. More even after the Garissa University College terror attack on April 2, 2015. And no, I will not reveal the identities of the men I have sex with. I would not like them to be dragged to court by moral police and sexual offences campaigners for defilement. My life, my choice, right?

The terrorists claim each time they sleep with a houri they find her virgin. Besides, the penis of the terrorist never goes limp. The erection is eternal; the sensation that they feel each time they screw their dark-eyed virgins is utterly delicious and out of this world and were anyone to experience it in this world they would faint. Each terrorist will marry seventy-two (sic) houris, besides the women he married on earth, and all will have appetizing vaginas. That’s according to one very old sex-maniacal geezer who is said to have died sometime in the Middle Ages, around 1500 CE.

The thought of having sex, for eternity, with a mass murderer is disgusting, repulsive. I can’t even imagine. Being good in this life won’t help. Be a bad girl. The baddest even. Heaven doesn’t exist, especially for virgins. It is hell up there if you don’t tear up your clothes for MTV, indulge in orgies and sell your three/foursome sex tapes to YouPorn while on earth. Or isn’t these virgins actual people who once lived and roamed the universe?

With the look of things, Muslim heaven is going to have a short supply of virgins very soon. Al-Shabaab has had a field day massacring Kenyans and now they want to go to Alaska, Boko Haram has already snatched 200 virgins to have their paradise on earth, ISIS wants to establish an Islamic world, al-Qaeda have become WWW (world wide web), and Islamic radicalization is at alarming rate because of the promise of an eternal supply of virgins. It is seductive, being a terrorist I mean. The numbers are unprecedented. Woe unto you if you die a virgin.

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Good people, I have been away working on my first novel and other writing avenues. I now co-author Poetic Justness and Flashes of Vice blogs with Vincent de Paul besides mine.

The novel is now out and available for purchase on KindleCreateSpace, Amazon and other Online Stores.

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27 thoughts on “Don’t Die a Virgin” by elovepoetry (@elovepoetry)

  1. speechless, lest I blasphem. *strolls away whistling Omawunmi’s if-you-ask-me-na-who-I-go-ask?

    1. God is in the details we don’t want to question, but once you question, there is no turning back as Gloria Steinem says @Shovey.

  2. Daring, raunchy and naughty. There folks who may read this and want to either kill you or add you to their list of ‘heavenly’ virgins. Matters little. But really, this preoccupation with bomb-a-fuck is … dunno.

    Keep going girl. WANNA BUY YOUR BOOK.

    1. @ezeakwukwo Thank you for reading and your comment. I appreciate.

      You can purchase my book online via Visa Card, MasterCard, or Paypal by clicking on the links above either in Paperback to be delivered to you wherever you are so long as there is a post office or purchase the Kindle edition. You just need to do to have the Kindle edition is download the Kindle App from Google Play store to your smartphone or on PC free of charge, then go to Amazon and follow the instructions.

      Note: You have to register as an Amazon customer.

  3. OOPS. Meant ‘THERE ARE FOLKS.’ Grammar matters here.

    1. Thank you for reading. @Nalongo

  4. Wow at first I was like what’s this but now I see what it is. the message is clearly delivered wow

    1. @Ivie9ja I am glad the message has homed in. Thank you for reading.

  5. louis (@luwizdrizzy)

    Whew,can’t say much ooo but to finish the song by omawumi @Shovey “the matter wey we see so,e heavy for ground”…n I’m just passing by ooo

    1. @luwizdrizzy there are some things for which words lack, especially matters religion. I am the Queen s/he-devil who questions the god in the details. Thank you for passing by.

  6. Na wa o, d matter realy heavy for mouth ooo

    1. @Raykeeyah… Why is the matter heavy for thy mouth?

  7. Hmmm… Daring, to say the least.

  8. Really pushing it, the red button I mean. The terrorists might come looking for you for slandering on their belief, and cause for Allah. A good one.

    1. @vincentdepaul Thanks for reading, and the nice comment. Cheerz

  9. “Daring” seems to be the consensus, and i agree with it. Good writing and you definitely passed your message.

    1. @mcsnol, Oh my, I’m glad that I communicated to you my lovely readers. Thanks for reading.

  10. So you are basically saying that Islam supports terrorism.
    You quote the Quran and interpreted it your own way.
    Don’t you think its blasphemy, I mean you made a mockery of a holy book, something that is a symbol of spirituality to some people.
    Peace can reign by respecting each other’s interests, you don’t have to believe in it.
    The Quran has not promised terrorists those women, those are for those who have kept themselves chaste and Pius and have followed in the foot prints of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w).
    Islam is strongly against innovation those that innovate those things will meet their maker and answer but it is wrong to quote the Quran and say such vile things.
    Do and say unto others what you if said and done to you won’t offend you.
    You’re wrong to misinterpret our Quran like that, please if you want to write about Islam please research properly and don’t misquote.

    1. I hear you sister @ameenaedrees. Perhaps I misinterpreted the Quran, but I did not misquote. It might feel as blasphemy to many a Muslim, and I know the 72 Virgins are not mentioned anywhere in the Quran but in the Hadith. And the Koran does not promise 72 Virgins, but there is a subtext in my story you should be able to pick.

      One of the reasons we fail in religion is cocooning ourselves into what we are taught without questioning. God is in the details you are apprehensive of questioning.

      For further reading, go to:
      http://www.palwatch.org/main.aspx?fi=565
      http://wikiislam.net/wiki/72_Virgins
      http://www.justislam.co.uk/product.php?products_id=216

  11. You have a message to pass, pass it. You don’t have to desecrate the holy Book.
    Remember the terrorists didn’t write it, God did.
    You might not hold it to any esteem but some people do.
    People might praise you for what you’ve written but it doesn’t change the fact that it offensive to some people.

    1. @ameenaedrees, read above. However, something has to be dirty for it to be cleansed. Wahabism is a sect of Islam which is the origin of terrorism. I may not be well-versed with the Holy Book, and I know my writing will ruffle some feathers, but that does not mean being a Muslim it’s interpreted to mean terrorist. Even in Christianity there are sects that do go overboard, that does not mean we should not talk about them because it will offend some people. And tell us why is it that the tag of terrorism is carried by Islam/Muslims?

  12. Wahabism is not Islam, they are people who claim to be Muslims but work against Islam to spoil the name. They are innovators threading on an entirely different part.

    That’s my question too why all terrorist are termed Muslims and all Muslims are termed terrorists.

    Basically someone who wants to create an upheaval and has got a sponsor can take up arms put a Muslim name because they know the world will accept them better that. Way, after all, all terrorists are supposedly Muslims.
    So you all are sure that all those evil guys pray to Allah and he helps them?
    Allah is God, amongst his names the compassionate is there, he is against killing of innocent souls.
    Those guys are on their own because If God himself wanted everyone to be the same religion it is not beyond his power to do so.
    Our Prophet coexisted with people of other religions .
    Taking up arms in the cause of Allah is suppose to happen when you’re oppressed, when someone wants to stop you at all costs from worshipping Allah.
    But even if you insult Allah all I can say is don’t and if you continue to do so Allah himself knows best, that doesn’t mean I should fight with you.
    Since you like researching on religious issues especially Islam try to look for the book wahabism.
    If I get the authors name you’ll hear from me again.
    I am not against your writing abeg, just as you’re free to write what you feel, I am also free to comment I feel.
    I after all did not insult anybody’s religion or holy book.

    1. @ameenaedrees freedom is what all of us has; and as much as it goes we have to respect each other’s culture, religion and customs. Please, understand I am privy to that, however I am the one person who will not believe something blindly because I found my folks doing so and I just follow them because they tell me so; or because ways of my people tells me to learn it even by rote.

      I know matters religion brings out emotions and sensations that can lead to exchange of blows, unprintable insults and even death (like some Arsenal fans have killed/committed suicide because their teams lost/were defeated).

      My apologies if you feel offended, like the way two or three guys were offended by Charlie Hebdo cartoon depiction of Prophet Mohammed (PBUH). Don’t take it as my opinion, or advocacy, or as an attack on your religion… READ THE ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE BY PLATO.

  13. Please if you want to learn about Islam you should not surf the internet cause anyone can write what they feel and what they want people to believe.
    Read the authentic Qur’an and the authentic hadith.

    1. @ameenaedrees Do you mean there exists fake Quran and Hadith? Oh my!

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