“I’ll always be here for you….”
That was the promise I made that still tickles me today.
She was just 17, but full of life
A beauty, someone to call my wife
Didn’t meet her in the best conditions, I was hurt and so was she
Mine was emotional, hers; she needed to be free
Free to self expression, face the world with a clear purpose
We met and fell in love, Or so I supposed
On the mini football field I watched her play
I joined in, we had fun and laughed all day
In came the rain, I needed to see her face
I did, her eyes, she smiled with so much grace
And so it began…………
We shared common love for music (though on different pages)
We were the last child of our parents (much to my dismay, she was very naughty)
We were both from average homes (but she spent like a princess…aaaarggghhhh)
We both had modest apartments in school (made it easy for her to annoy me with a knock on my door at 6a.m….I needed to sleep! Or was It the other way around?)
We hugged for the first time (actually I stole the hug, she came to say it was over…….it resolved it I guess)
We agreed our friendship would be strictly touch-less, kiss-less, ….sex-less (though I had all these longing, she was young)
Now some memories……
She likened me to CR7, I was her star on the football pitch (that didn’t last cos loving her soon took its toll)
We hung out a lot (either in her room or mine, I just love being with her)
We ate from a plate, shared my bank account (hell no, she didn’t ever negotiate sharing beds)
We disagreed on issues a lot (turns out she’s always got the brighter ideas, not that I was dumb)
She was all I had to come home to………..
I couldn’t go a day without the morning and night visits
Me at her door early hours of the morning, she’d open and we’d lay together till she wakes up proper
Stroking her silky long hair was the best part, made her fall asleep fast
Her room was our paradise (behind a particular curtain was a “no-go area”)
And so our flaws were…….
I was bad at cooking, not like she was better, we both shared delicacies (mostly mine, ‘cos she cook..? “How na?”).
A full stomach and a modest pocket, kept the smile on her face….the reverse and I got a different her in full (I dreaded her angry side)
I talked too much, even had a crush on……(Shhh! A special lady she loved over me? **thinking out loud**)
Our apartments were stone throw apart (so you know where to find me even at 11pm)
And our differences began to show……..
She loved being all dressed up and be hollywood, I was simple and shabby
She loved to have bowls of ice-cream, meat pie and all, I was modest and cool with home made food
She loved to watch movies, football matches…TV, I stuck to being geek…My books
Or maybe I got it all wrong…..?
I wanted her to love me for who I was (she was obviously in love with another…her school mum!)
I wanted more of her attention (it was divided amongst me, her lodge mates and friends)
I wanted her to need me…..sexually (I never should have ‘cos……)
ALL HELL WENT LOOSE……………
The fights never seemed to end (and she was cool with everyone but me)
She was hardly home (or maybe avoiding me)
Oh! She came to visit me sometimes (to get money that was sent to her through my bank account)
Oh! She sure was missing me (laughing and playing in her friend’s room or watching film in another’s)
AGAIN! SHE WAS YOUNG!! ……I’ll wait till she turn 18
Or so I thought….
I’ve been nagging all along right? (of course I am)
But I’ve never had a love crazier than these and its stuck on me for good
the way she missed me when we are on vacation, the calls were sweet.
The chat on “fotochatter”, the text messages…… Such beautiful times
The quest to be updated with the latest songs (I was a sour loser cos somehow she always won)
When the break was over, I’m left wondering “did she miss me at all” (of course she did dumb head!)
So what did we get right……..
we were envied in the neighbourhood….the lovebirds (are they kidding me!)
We checked on each other, was there for each other…..she was my sister my friend (I still miss that part of her)
I was handsome, she was beautiful…..made the pairing one everyone wanted to talk about, joke about, care about (practically became the talk of the town)
So the question of “yes” or “no”….
Did we kiss (even by mistake)?…..NO!
Did we have lunch outside the house?……YES! (She was eating, I was watching)
Did we hug apart from the “stolen one”?…..YES! (And again it was stolen)
Did she break my heart in the end?…..NO! (My world fell apart instead!)
WHAT?!…..(I thought u’d never ask)..
Sometimes you hold too fast, it slips right through your hand
Sometimes the reason why you re not loved in return, you can’t understand
I was broken not having her around, I was tormented by every love song
And still the excuse I had for her was “SHE IS YOUNG”……
So How did you get over her?! (Are you seriously asking me?!)
I never did
I JUST NEVER DID!!
She moved far away from the neighbourhood….. So I had her “ghost” to see everyday
No more morning call, being there and all
I JUST NEVER DID (sob)
I’m writing this cos………………
We all get to truly feel love at a point in our lives
But what matters most is not who loved us, but who we truly loved
Gave up our will, our reasons, our freedom…..our pride to make them happy
These people teach us to be better or worse!
Okay, I know you re bored of this already, but don’t miss the best part…………….
She loved me all along…
She cared for me, though I was blind to see….
But she needed to feel accepted, protected, loved and cared for……
It was a real love I knew nothing about! (Not that I didn’t force it out of her)
She had a song dedicated to me “Malaria – by Soty”……..
And she meant every word when we both listened to and sang “Unbelievable – by Craig Davids” together
She enticed me to like a song “Real Love – by Massari” … Of course wanting me to mean the words to her.
She made me promise never to forsake her even if she messes up
I got greedy and I’m still greedy today…
I want a girl completely in love with me (for Christ sake, which guy wouldn’t )
A kiss, A hug would have sealed it all… (I dulled the atmosphere “jare”)
A bed shared at least one night, could have made all the difference
Or we would have made love amidst the odds, against our words …our “oath of office” (whatever that means)
I had my “Sorry ass” Excuse; “SHE WAS YOUNG”
So it ended this way; with my favourite Backstreet boys Song
“Every time I breathe I take you in, and my heart beats again….Baby I can’t help it, you keep me drowning in your love”
Although I contended with songs like “Moving mountain – Usher, Go on Girl – Neyo, Tattoo – Jordin Sparks, Us against the world – Westlife, Your arms feel home – 3doors down, Shades of blue – Nick lacey, Superhuman – Kerry hilson & Chris brown, Part of the list – Neyo……….”
Specifically these ones amidst many others, I loved her some days, I despised her on others.
Only few friends knew this girl that touched my heart
She was my first College love.