Don’t take me to church

Another loved one lost… Another funeral to attend…

Now the fear, now the uncertainty, I feel it all… I won’t pretend…

If only they had an extra day, just to set things right and prepare for the journey ahead…..

If only……..

Soon I’ll be the one laid…..laid six feet into the ground…..

But before I go…..

DON’T TAKE ME TO CHURCH…!!!

What for?!……I stink within and without….

A dog that take delight in his vomits……..

In sin was I conceived, and in sin will the foundation of my grave be laid……

Or would you rather I…………

Come into the sacred place all stained with the blood of men I’d slain my heart……

Those that my unforgiving spirit had tied down, tormented and left with no defined path…..

Those that I have labelled “fools” “under-achievers” “ignorant” ….. Those that I’ve condemned for not sharing my belief…….

Would you rather I……

Enter the sanctuary with the tears of the girls I’ve raped, molested and abused with my self-stimulation……

Models, friends, ….., Girls both far and near, all tied to my spirit, their nakedness in my mind, the love scene according to the script of my lust……!!

Those whose picture frame is hung up in my mind…….and even those I’m yet to lay my eyes upon…..

Would you rather I…..

Be discerned with a heart of falsehood, my mind unclean and clouded with things of the world…

A lips that spoke lies, a heart that plotted mischief, envy, jealousy and malice

The pleasures, the pursuit of happiness, the goals that I’ve set that I never achieved…….

The men I trampled upon to attain heights, the bribes, the price I’ve paid to sit amongst the elite……..

The Church Spoke…. And twice did I hear…..

I was told that by confession, all my sins will be wiped away…..

By the blood shed on the cross, I will be whiter than snow, all I needed do was pray…..

By believing in Jesus Christ, I will be saved….

Would you rather I said this……

“NO ONE SAVED ME FROM MYSELF AFTERWARDS……!!!!”

my heart still crafted deceit…it was still filled with lust…..

my body still longed for all fleshy desires…….

I knew a peace that surpassed my understanding, but didn’t carry on a path void of sin……

And yes was filled with the spirit and baptised, I wasn’t completely holy…… Not doing things according to how the scriptures wanted me……

I TRIED TO MAKE AMMENDS OVER AND OVER…….

AND I FAILED……

I WAS BORN SICK……….AND NOW I KNOW IT!!!!

I’m living by the dictates of my impulse….driven by the fuel of my emotions…

It’s all about me, I’m a demi-god…. In everything I do; “my will be done!!!”…

It doesn’t matter what the old scrolls say…. I’ve carved out my path and I intend to follow it…..!!!

STILL…….

IT’S NOT YET MY FUNERAL…..

BUT I AM THINKING…..

“What awaits me on the side….???”

Open to me the “Gates of Hell” and let me be received with horror….

envelope my soul with deepest darkness….. This is forever my home….

Let me be tossed about in the flames of anguish, let me be breathless in the smoke of the inferno….

And this will be because….

Your blood couldn’t save me from the man that I became….

Your words condemned me, I found no salvation between its lines….

Your Servants couldn’t show me the correct path that led to you….

STRONGMEN DON’T YOU DARE…. I’m begging from the depth of my heart!!

DON’T TAKE ME TO CHURCH!!!

So my soul wouldn’t stand before the Eternal Father….

So I don’t behold his glory….. so I don’t behold the gate I never will enter…..

So my soul doesn’t break down, regretting all the right paths I didn’t take from cradle to my dying days….

OR CAN I STILL BE REDEEMED?!….

CAN I BE A BETTER MAN THAN I AM TODAY?!

If you read this, the question also applies to you

And if you have answers, I’m open to receive them…..

Truly Yours

Bright Benson.



5 thoughts on “Don’t take me to church” by Bright Benson (@brytandre)

  1. That was gripping, to say the least. I don’t have the answers you seek but yes, I believe you can be redeemed, any one can.

  2. LOL….

    Too much porn….He (or is it you?) needs Jesus!

    NIce blunt rant.,.it could have still fallen under poetry category though.

    We feel the chaos raging in his (or yours?) mind and its terrifyingly depicted. The badgering of one’s conscience…

    YOU MUST GO CHURCH OH! …you need deliverance…lol

  3. good work. questions we all must ask ourselves

  4. The beginning of redemption is the accepatance of one’s sinfulness. I really enjoyed this truth-telling tale.

  5. definetely a poem. Vivid and thought provoking. One thing should appeal to this character and that is Forever is a really long time. Think about what was the worst day of your life now multiply that day times infinity and that is what awaits. Im not sure if thats motivation enough but I tried lol

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