This actually happened to a friend on Tuesday, 20th January, 2014. Tho funny but not a laughing matter. Enjoy and do justice to it as you make your comments.
Should I tell you to enjoy it? Yes, read and enjoy the story of the worst night of my life.
‘Liverpool will host Chelsea at Anfield tonight; I must not miss the opening minutes’ was on my mind as I looked at the bus I wanted to board. I didn’t notice the big man-hole in front of me. It was like a joke when I drastically fell inside the hole; I had to support with my hands, otherwise I would have hit my chest against the concrete barricade. I heard the ‘praaaaa’ sound and I thought, ‘My trouser don tear.’ When I got up from the hole, it wasn’t funny, the pant (trouser) tore ‘yanmayanma’. The whole of the back was rendered apart as cool breeze blew my area. Only the belt held the trouser at waist level. The front too was ‘something’ to write home about – the right side tore to my knee. It was disgraceful. I wondered why something like that would happen to me. A good woman opined that I tack it with pins before I get a place to sew and I accepted. The pin did not do anything to save the situation. I managed to drag myself to a seamstress but the vocationist just shook her head to my request. I was done for; the next thing that came to my mind was to get another trouser that night. I took ‘keke’ to the bank (to use ATM) and another thing happened when I was about to pay – my money fell into the gutter covered by these iron drainage shui. I had to enter the gutter and stretch my hands inside to get the doughs out. When I bent inside the gutter, I felt the additional breeze around my backside because there was nothing covering my butt, save the boxer. I backed the incoming vehicles, thereby giving passers-by free show. I heard some people laugh but I was less-concerned or so I felt. When I did my transaction at the bank, I was debited but the ATM did not release money. Oh, Not this night again! I had to walk to another bank still using one hand to cover my thigh and the other to cover my butt, if that will amount to something. My treading was not smooth as I still felt the pains of falling inside the man-hole on my right knee. You know how Lagosians ask questions now, “Ehh, sorry o, u fight?” “You fall down?” “E pele o, u see this Lagos sef.” I withdrew in another bank, took ‘keke’ again and bought a new trouser after limping from one shop to another.
“Wheeeewh!” A sigh of relief came. I decided to find solace in Brila FM by listening to Murphy Ijemba who gives sportilicious news about the big beautiful world of football. When I was about to board a bus home, about two people were behind me, I didn’t realize that one had gone back until I had settled in the bus and realized my phone was gone. Yes – to worsen the night drama, my phone was gone!
I just laughed and said to myself ‘What a night!’
I pray I never experience anything as worse or worse than that in Jesus Name. Amen