I Am My Husband’s Clown

Go, you don’t want a woman like me. I’m too loud, you need some peace.

I cooked fresh meals for you each day, but that wasn’t enough. Your sisters laughed that all the food ended up in me; in my fat tummy. They pitied me; pitied you for marrying someone like me. How could their handsome brother who had the attention of every girl end up with the one girl nobody wanted?

They don’t want to end up like me so they eat baby portions of the amazing fried rice I make. I know, yes I knew that even though they want to stay size 2, they still wish they could eat like me. The other day, I found the skinniest one; yes Dupe, packing some rice inside her bag. A pity; I could have given her the whole pot if she had ask.

Let’s not even talk about your grandmother. She has been sick and so for the past 4 years, I have been a good house wife to you, taking care of her. No, I became your slave. She kept stuffing me up with food, all in the name of “Eyawo.”

Our marriage lasted for a year; the other 3 years?  Come on, you know how we spent those years. You were in the US, on business. That’s what you told me husband, or have you forgotten?

For 3 good miserable years, I didn’t see you but when I called your manager in Nigeria, he picked up. I wondered why. He said you had been in Nigeria for 2 weeks; but you never came home. Please tell me why? Was I not supposed to be the first person you come to see after 3 years?

That was what I wanted to ask you when I came to the hotel I heard you were hiding in.

I came; yes I did, and no, you didn’t see me.

Your hands were all over her, how could you possibly see me? Where was I? I was hiding away in your closet that I couldn’t barely fit in, but I would be damned Tunde if you had seen me. I feared I would lose it. I could have hurt her you know?

I did actually. You came to the hospital to find that she…

Such a foolish girl I am, always wanting things that I cannot have. Yes, let’s not stray from topic. I’m sorry but really, that was how I got here because I wanted you even when my mother warned me that your family would be the death of me. I promise when I finish this last cup of tea, I will continue. I know I will need more for what you did to me; it will take a life time to heal from.

She had broken her precious toe while she tried escaping from my request. You want to know the best part? This will truly confirm that I really am the fool you think I am.

I begged her. I got on my two knees, and begged her to leave you alone. She didn’t know how you and I started but she was going to put an end to us. I couldn’t let that happen and so I held her back but she tripped and landed on the cold hard floor. I blame it on the heels she had on. So much for the high class lady you wanted.

You came to the hospital; just in time when the police officers were harassing me. I saw you, I ran to you. You embraced me, covered me with your embrace. I was in your arms again. You pulled out your business card, and the police officers bowed when you… you call me your wife.

My face lite up. Yes, I have won. I screamed to my enemies but then you turned around and shattered my heart to a million pieces. You said that that was going to be the last time you would protect me as my husband because our marriage was over.

“Jesu, jesu, jesu.” I kept chanting in a manner that made me seem like I was possessed with madness. “Ah… ahh… ahhh.” My head was spinning. I bit my fingers. I was going crazy in the hall way of the hospital, but you didn’t see any of that because you had rushed off to go be with her in her hospital bed.

I don’t know how I got home. If I ran, drove, walked, crawled, gosh Tunde what do I care, what do you care?! I just know that I went home and they were all waiting for me. Their eyes all feasted on me waiting to hear what they already knew.

I crawled into my room. Your grandmother followed behind me. I sat in front of my dressing mirror. She came closer and picked up my lipstick. With tears all over my face, she smeared the red lipstick on my lips and fat chicks. She laughed at me; I had become your family’s clown.

2 days later as I was driving back to my mother’s house after your family kicked me out, a man knocked my car off the bridge; him being just like everyone else didn’t care about me. He kept on driving.

Tunde, I died and came back to life. The man just kept on driving, leaving me in my car. I smelled gas and I knew I had to get out of my car immediatly. It started to rain. My bones were sore, my forehead was bleeding. Lips busted, eyes bruised, I could barely see my own doom.

Tunde, where were you when I watched my car blow up just 2 minutes after I managed to get out? I slept in the cold the whole night. I was so sure I was dead but God wouldn’t just knock me out of my misery. You married her when the doctor said there was little or no chances at all that I would wake up from the coma. How could you? How could you do that to me! We were happy once remember? We were so good together untill you decided to look else where. Unti you decided that I wasn’t what you wanted anymore.

But here I am honey. I am no longer the girl you once knew. Everything has changed, I have changed. No, do not shed any tears for me, save it for you grandmother’s funeral. It took a long process to heal but I am here now, and you?

24 thoughts on “I Am My Husband’s Clown” by Ufuoma Otebele (@ufuomaotebele)

  1. Poor woman…marriage these days are not worth it anymore…its not just worth it…instead of enjoyment u get torture and inprisonment

    1. @schatzilein Haba u keep disappearing on me. Thanks for stopping by oo. And yes sometimes marriages becomes death…

      1. My dear NS just begining bore the fug outta me..and anytime i come on it directs me to a porn site or a spam site…

        1. Hehehehe ehn wtf! Sha how body oo… hope your good

  2. Wow. This was deep.

    1. @anakadrian thanks for stopping by. Hmmm every once in a while we gotta go deep.

  3. This is highly emotional, poor thing she suffered so much just to stay married.

    1. You know how people say its not about getting married but rather its about staying married… I guess the wife here listened too hard to that idea.

      Thanks for reading!!

  4. Ahhhhh, he leave am follow Cynthia.
    Very sensitive, hmmmmmmm.

  5. Aunty Amina… all these Cynthia’s what do we do about them…

  6. Okay, Schatzilein, but I think marriage is what you make it. If we all start giving this kind of excuses, very soon, we’ll have no marriages, and no families. Our communities, societies, and nation will break down. I’m sure you don’t want that.

    Make yourself the best your mate can find, and then find the best mate you can find, and then focus on making it a marriage made in heaven. My marriage maxim is this: Marry the person you love, then love the person you marry. Chikena!

    Ufuoma, it’s a nice work. Plaintive. Touching. I’ll tell you a few things about your writing style when i get a chance to. You’re the bestest!

    1. Sometimes we dont or these days we dont need marriage to start a family…nobody prays for a bad marriage..nobody goes into a marriage praying for it not to work out..but when u find out that ur marriage or the person you thot loved you starts treating u like a sewer rat.do you still continue to bear it??african women are always making excuses for such situations..grow some ballz and leave the fuccker and start a new life…

  7. Point number one: Fucker is a bad word. Doesn’t show class; doesn’t show breeding. I agree with you, people should stay in bad marriages where they are used as punch bags, or mistreated. But is that the norm rather than the exception? I see marriage and family as one of the best structures for a person to be accepted, learn to receive and give love. Children that don’t receive love in the first five years of their lives turn out to become Hitlers and Stalins. Family provides structure for growth and development of the individual.

    So what if the family structure today is disfunctional, due to current values, attitudes and negative orientations? Do we do away with the family, and expose our society to “anywhere belle face” development; throwing away the baby with the bath water, or do we attempt to fix our values to build stronger families, communities and societies?

    The way we look at the problem is the problem (Stephen R. Covey)

    Thanks for your contribution, my friend.

  8. Sorry, it’s people should NOT stay in marriages…please fix that. I was totally in agreement with you on that.

  9. Schatzilein, I’m sorry if I sounded harsh in my comments. Wasn’t ever my intention. :)

  10. wow! such a lovely story! I especially enjoyed the flow of the story. it was also such an emotional piece, with her surviving all tribulations and all. Good job!!

    1. Thank you so much for the comment. I’m glad you enjoyed this piece!!

  11. Hmmmm such a pathetic story #the many evils of marriages

    1. Hmmm you said it all. Thanks @Kosnie

    1. I’m glad she could get out! Thanks for reading…

  12. @ufuomaotebele is this you? I’m just seeing this and its excellent and emotional. For the life of me I dont understand how men and in some cases women can settle in thier mind that they will waste a persons life and time and toss them away like trash with no compassion and I personally can not be with a man who treats his former wife with such contempt because of shallow reasons unless of course he lies about the nature of the situation. but @schatzilein I agree with you sometimes you haave to have some pride about yourself and step away from a situation no matter what your formothers did because the stress of a messed up life can KILL you and you have to decide whether you have the mind to sacrifice your life for a fool who will remarry the same day as your funeral if he could. I’m not sure even I have the stregnth and comportment to accept the things our female ancestors did in thier marriages. Abeg I’ve been single before and it was not that bad lol

  13. Romancte, Thriller and Mystery…. Awesome.

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