Please read up part two here
In a few months Wale was promoted to senior secondary school class 3 together with his friends and he had been made the library prefect. His friend Tunde, was made the labour prefect. None of his other friends were given any positions.
They were in their usual gossip meeting one day when one of them, Femi remarked that they were in their final year at school and still not experienced any girl. Femi was the most timid member of the group. He was so timid that he almost peed on his pants when a beautiful lady stopped him to asked for directions one day. They all acknowledged that Femi had said the truth and decided to seek a solution. After giving it much thought, Tunde suggested that they seek the help of a boy in their class called Tony! They all agreed.
Tony was the “loverboy” of the school. He had so many girlfriend and always found it easy to get any girl of his choosing. His strength was in in the sugar coated deceit on his tongue – He had a way with romantic words. Like the champion, Mohammed Ali, Tony’s lines floated like butterflies in the tummy of ladies and stung their emotional weaknesses like a bee. He was a lady’s man. Ironically, he was not even good looking but managed to have dated and ‘tested’ every beautiful lady in the school; including two very young teachers that came for teaching practice – that achievement won him the ‘IGWE’ award from the boys in the school.
Wale and his crew contacted Tony who laughed uncontrollable at their request. It was a silly request from his point of view as he had not heard or seen anyone organizes ‘love tutorial classes’ before. But after much thought and persuasion from the crew, he decided to help them, but at a fee. They discussed it amongst themselves for a while and finally agreed.
He arranged to give each of them practical training for one week each at the price of their daily lunch which should be monetized in the event that they brought actual lunch to school instead. Wale pleaded that Tony should start the training with him so that he could get Amaka before some sharp guy does since Kemi was out of the picture. The rest of the crew disagreed vehemently, each of them, arguing instead, to be the start point. Tony however, chose Wale.
He instructed Wale to change his school shoes as it had a funny look and meet him at Mama Sikira’s Kiosk every day after school hours; that would be the training venue.
Wale arrived early on the first day. He had changed his shoes and even went further to adjust his haircut to look like that of Tony’s. Tony arrived 10 minutes after Wale did, He was impressed by the new look Wale. He quickly ordered for a plate of rice from mama Sikira on Wale’s account. When he was through, he started the sessions with some theory;
“You don’t have to be handsome or have a lot of money to date the girl of your dreams” he started
“If you are handsome, the ladies would admire you; if you have cash, they’ll spend it for you, but they might never date you”
Wale kept on nodding his head, he had never heard such insightful words before.
“What you need is confidence and a sense of timing” he continued, ignoring Wale’s Lizard nodding head.
“Ladies like guys that are bold and confident. Guys that can look at them confidently and tell them to shut up”
“Shut up”, Tony responded “What I am telling you is serious”
“The next is timing. Even if you are confident, you must know the right time to approach a girl. Not every time is the right time. Lastly, but not important, you must know the right words to say. The last one is not important because when you are confident, everything you say would make sense”
Wale was amazed at Tony’s romantic wisdom, he quickly brought out a jotter and started to put down the words of wisdoms oozing from Tony’s mouth.
“Tomorrow, we shall start with some practicals” Tony continued, after talking for a while about confidence and timing, which Wale voraciously jotted down.
Wale left the meeting with joy; he was gradually learning to become a ‘badoo’, he reasoned in his thoughts.
The next day Wale appeared at their meeting spot immediately school dismissed, without waiting for their normal daily examination of Kemi’s ‘derivative’. Tony arrived on time too. The pay was his motivation.
“Today, we shall begin with little a practical which would help you grow your confidence” he started, after consuming a nice plate of ‘amala’ and ‘gbegiri’ soup.
“I would stop a lady, talk to her for a while and collect her phone number. Just watch and learn”
“The line we shall both use is one of my best and most effective pick-up lines” he said with a proud smile.
He watched the street for a while. After about 2 mins, a lady came walking by. Tony moved swiftly into action.
“Hello” he whispered,
The lady turned, looked at him with intimidating gaze and then responded, quite rudely – “Yes…”
“You face looks familiar”
“No, I don’t think so” she replied rudely
“Are you not Funke?” Tony queried
“Me? In your dreams!”
Tony smiled, “Well, I must have been mistaken then. It would not be bad though if I get to know you” Tony replied calmly
“Well, I’m Funmi” she replied after giving his request some thought.
Tony continued in his usual charismatic confidence, chatting Funmi up for up to 3 mins. After a while, Wale watched him collect the lady’s number.
“This boy na witchcraft o” he mumbled quietly
“Your turn!” Tony shouted as he walked towards him
“Just do what I did. Remember that confidence is the key”
Wale’s heart seized, then started beating at the rate of 5 beats per seconds.
“Am I doing mine today?” he asked, with some pleading in his voice.
“Don’t you think I should wait till tomorrow?” he begged further
“My friend, move jor, which tomorrow?” Tony replied,
“Oya see that girl wey dey come, her name is Tonia; she’s very easy, I’ve toasted her before, I even have her number” Tony explained, hoping that it would give Wale some confidence
“Okay” Wale replied as he jumped on the road and waved at the lady.
“Sister excuse me”, he pleaded timidly
“Yes, can I help you” the sister responded
At that point, fear gripped Wale and his heart beat rate increased further. His voice, hands and legs started to shake.
“No o…, It’s just that…, you know…, your face sounds familiar” he stuttered quietly
“What… my face make sounds?” she replied as she burst into laughter!