He Is Not A Virgin!

She has kept herself till that moment; the honeymoon
When the one she truly loves will let open the fragile wall of pleasure
The gateway to the connection of the body and soul
He deserves the one thing that was not given to every Sule & Samson

It is the pride of a woman; so they say
It is her dignity.
If forcefully taken away can damage her self esteem for eternity
May be healed through divine intervention

But the “He” that was to break open the skin of trust & loyalty
Is not morally upright like her
Though noting to detect the extent to which it has been deflowered
May be it will become limp through the space of time,
Or maybe it will become wrinkled
Or may be shortened
Now he takes the glory of having that special moment, being that special person.

The society might not frown much at his immorality
But for her, she becomes an outcast
Where is the balance of respect, love and decency on both sides?
If all the “He’s” wants to hook up with the “virgin she’s”
But the virgin ladies want to hook up only with the virgin guys
Will it ever make a difference?

18 thoughts on “He Is Not A Virgin!” by Oloruntoba Yetunde (@Olushademi)

  1. ………………………………………………….
    what a great idea
    expressed like Leah
    in thoughts and words
    breaking the heart’s cords

      1. You’re welcome, always naah :)

  2. kay (@kaymillion)

    Oh….. I wish

  3. @Olushademi…..why do you write ‘maybe’ apart like two different words??

    Interesting read, our world is unbalanced when it comes to gender.

    But I would say that virginity is something a person does FOR themselves…..not for anybody or anything else.

    1. @zikora: ooops…I appreciate your observation about “Maybe”. it is noted.

      “But I would say that virginity is something a person does FOR themselves…..not for anybody or anything else.”

      Well that is your opinion, but in the religious aspect particularly Christianity, it goes beyond just for one self, it concerns God too. ” Let marriage be had in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Heb 13:4( ASV)

      From the cultural perspective, it is considered an honour to the family for a wife present herself to her husband being a virgin.

      but it pisses me off to hear some guys say that they want to marry a virgin when they are not one. Some have the mentality that they don’t have to be morally upright when it comes to sex.

      1. @Olushademi……Do you not think I’m a Christian, know the Bible and our cultural expectations?? I am, and I know all of the above.

        I am a female too. However, the Bible and cultural/traditional teachings are guides. Let’s not drag the Bible in here because I dnt like brandishing it just anywhere.

        You mentioned ” From the cultural perspective, it is considered an honor to the family for a wife present herself to her husband being a virgin.” Has it occurred to you…. ‘Who wrote /made/created these ways of thinking??’

        @Olajumoke…..what you fail to understand is whatever may, be it the Bible or Cultures/Traditions you are doing it for something else rather than for yourself or as something you should do in the first place.

        I understand that the Bible and Culture has been the guiding tools in that perspective and I’m grateful to have grown up with them to guide me when I had no/little understanding. However, when you get older maybe as a teenager, or a bit older…. you learn self worth and esteem. You learn it has to be for you!

        I get your angst about men wanting and expecting virgins when they are as soiled and rotten as the manure on earth themselves. All said, if you do it for men you will remain angry forever because you will find that they are not worth it nor would they label you ‘honored’ just because of that.

        There are many things that makes a woman honorable, and a man too. And that includes how they chose to represent their self-worth for themselves.

  4. This is interesting @Olushademi.
    It reminds me of what people call men with experience – stag. A woman with experience is … (I don’t like saying that word). Our culture will always punish the woman and spare the man.
    I understand what @Zikora is saying too. If the woman is going to regret making that sacrifice, then why is she doing it. (I get the religion bit) The truth is Brother Lagbaja from the church fellowship might have done ??!! with all the choir girls. Nothing stops him from ending up with sweet Sister Mary.

  5. @omisore: seriously that is just the irony of life…. and it also work out for some ladies too. lolzzz

  6. @Zikora, I don’t disagree.
    I agree that women should make the decision that will suit them.
    However, not all of us can be that self aware at say…18, 19. So for girls of that age, who are not sure of what decisions to make, they are gonna follow the path of religion, culture or be led by peer pressure.

    It is a woman’s right if they choose to wait or not. And it is never an easy decision to make.

    1. @Olajumoke……I agree of course. That’s why I said as a teenager or older. I’m aware some people are faster than others with some matters of decision.
      I also mentioned I was grateful growing up with Bible and cultural teachings about those things first and foremost.

      But then, take away when the woman is past her teens into young adulthood, surely they would have garnered somethings from the world around them and come into their own to make certain decisions and be aware of differences.


  7. Okay @Zikora. I’m with you.
    Still waiting to read the rest of your series.
    I remember how the first part got hundreds of views in the first few days…hehehe, you know how to pull ’em in.

    1. @Olajumoke: Thank you for seeing my point, and I get yours clearly.

      Yeah, I need to post up don’t I?? Thanks for remembering views! That was so exciting…. lol.

      I will definitely finish the series.

  8. @zikora: you are right about self awareness, am not doubting your faith too. Everyone just have a different way of viewing issues. The society we live has some values, we might not know the creator or originator of those values but in a way we live to that expectation sometimes, maybe because we were born into it. But when self awareness comes into place it ought to lead one to making wise and better decisions. When one makes the right decision at least one won’t have to struggle with guilty conscience.

  9. @olajumoke: yeah yeah it is not so easy but is it just the ladies that face this challenge onlys, hw is it like with the guys…I might have to carry out some research…just curious anyway.

    1. and maybe @zikora will help out. :)

      1. @Olushademi: What am I helping out with??

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