Believe you me, I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. My mind just flashed back to the bus-stop where I saw her, the suya spot and all the things I had said. Now I rescind what said in the previous chapter. This is and is most likely forever going to be my most embarrassing moment.
“Really? He has grown big oh. We met today but I didn’t recognise his face” jasmine said which such awe in her face while sipping juice from her cup
“Wow, I had no idea you too had met” replied mum, still excited about the reunion.
I on the other hand was feeling super uncomfortable. I just couldn’t wait for her to go so that this nightmare will come to an end. “I just hope she hasn’t listened to the voice note I sent on whatsapp, if she has, Zeus might as well just smite me now” I thought to myself
I gathered courage and stood up, kept on a straight face, gunning for the stairs when mom said “Jorge, come over here, there are a lot of gist you should be here for. Jasmine, you remember that time when he used to call you ‘my wife, my wife’?” apparently, I had good taste even as a child.
As they were reminiscing the old times, mum and jasmine seemed to be having maximum fun as they were giggling and laughing. I couldn’t say the same for me though. I texted Remi on BBM to come downstairs and bail me out. She came two minutes later, of course after I promised to drive her and her friends to the cinema at Shoprite. l could not bring myself to telling her what happened. I won’t hear the last of it.
“Dapo, I need help solving this equation, can you please help me” Remi said. That girl is a genius. She knows mum will fall for anything booky.
“Abeg! Don’t disturb me this night Remi” I replied in an antagonising manner so as to make it look real because frankly on a good day, that would be my normal reply.
“Haba Jorge. Don’t be cocky. Go help your sister out. It’s a pity you will be missing out on all the gist oh” she said still shinning the teeth. Come on, is this jasmine girl mother Theresa or what?
And up I went, finally saved by Remi from that awkward situation. At about 10:15 pm, I came downstairs only to see jasmine still feeling comfortable in my house. “What in God’s name is this girl still doing here?” I thought to myself.
“Jorge, are you through helping your sister” mum asked. If by helping your sister she meant watching Wynton Marsalis’s jazz videos on YouTube, I sure did. “I hope the guest room is well kept because jasmine will be staying with us till Monday” mum said which much exictement in her eyes. She hardly have friends over.
I died in my mind. Three days with this incredibly beautiful girl who I’m super attracted to and cannot make any move towards it because she was once my nanny and had seen me play with my poop before.
It was 10am the next day which was Saturday. Dad and mum had gone to a wedding of the daughter of one of Dad’s colleagues. The wedding is at Abeokuta so they had to leave early. Remi was upstairs while Joke was watching ‘Despicable me’. As I was about to enter the bathroom, I saw jasmine wearing a pink hello kitty top, white bum shorts and white sneakers. Apparently, the lady jogs every Saturday morning
The outfit just made me want to tear something. Like just rip the t-shirt off or something. It was like putting an open bottle of chardonnay out of the reach of a paralysed alcoholic in the same room. I could behold but couldn’t hold.
“hmmm.. good morning, how was your night” I said while trying to enter the bathroom quickly.
“good morning honey. My night was well. Yours?” she replied with that her (bites lower lip*) crystal clear smile. Why should she call me honey ehn. This girl was sent to torment my life.
“Was great. If you will excuse me, I’ ll like to take my bath now” I said. “Hmmm, if you are not busy, will you like to go on a run with me” she asked
“Wait oh; what is this ‘aunty jasmine’ up to?” I thought to myself. “ I have a rehearsal to attend so I don’t think I would be able to” I replied
“Hope you are not avoiding me because of what happened” she asked
What do you think dumb-ass? “Of course not. it was all a misunderstanding. I’d rather we didn’t talk about it” I replied
“Alright Take care of yourself muchacho” she said. Chai, did she really have to say that ehn ? She’s just 8 years older than me. But come to think of it oh, she looks 21. I guess that explains the jogging.
As she was walking away her face towel fell and I didn’t want to call her aunty jasmine. Also I was sceptical about calling her jasmine because of her exhibition of seniority (little Jorge), so I just made a loud noise that made her look back and I handed over her towel to her.
At about 4pm, as if the day couldn’t get any worse, she walked into me in the kitchen stealing meat from the pot and singing the theme song of Barbie and the fashion fairytale. Trust me, when you have a sister like Adejoke, you tend to know things like that.
“Dapo didn’t know you liked Barbie oh. See how you are singing the song fluently” she said with a smirk that showed she caught me taking the fried meat.
“Oh really? Was it Barbie? I really didn’t know. I just heard it from Joke’s mouth o. thought it was Taylor Swift or someone else that sang it” I replied with my mouth full of stolen meat. People say lawyers are liars and I’m not proving them wrong.
“I see. Okay, that’s by the way” she said. Then, she walked close to me, put her hands on my shoulder and said “you have a nice physique oh. What size of shirt do you wear?”
“Hmmm, size 32” I replied with a perplexed face. “Hmmm, I bet an Armani suit will look just great on you” she said with that her killer smile
“Okay! I have had about enough of this. Your teasing, your flirting. What exactly is going on here uhn? First you call me little Jorge and made jest of my funny childhood, then you ask me to run with you when you are dressed like Paris Hilton in the Hottie and the Nottie, and now you are complimenting me about my physique” I blurted out.
“Oh my God; you really misunderstood everything. My wedding is coming up first Saturday of next month and I was asking about your shirt size because I want you to be among the grooms men.” She replied with a straight face
“ehn, what about when you asked me to run with you nko? Was that not flirting?” I asked with a cocky attitude
“I wanted to show you where the reception will take place. It’s in your secondary school hall. I wanted to surprise you that’s why I asked you to follow me. your mum told me that was your secondary school when i told her about the hall. I’m so disappointed in your thinking” she replied, this time with a frown
I was dumb founded. Felt so stupid.