I can almost imagine the look of utter disbelief and shock on your face as you read this. Something tells me you will end up calling it a bluff but I want you to take me very serious this time. I mean every word. Don’t come after me. You won’t find me where I used to be, on my knees like a slave waiting patiently for her master to come home. This bird has flown.
Mama told me a day like this could come,
The day I would have to take a hard but good decision, to do what was right for me.
It sounded weird back then,
How could taking a good decision be so difficult?
I was too young to understand then but now it all makes sense.
Tuoyo, you told me you loved me and I believed…I believed with all my heart.
I was ignorant, I didn’t know better.
But I do know i loved you dearly.
So much I hurt myself so many times so you could be happy.
With all my heart I loved… and you knew, and that became a powerful weapon in your hands.
The more I gave and sacrificed, the more you took with no mercy or discretion. You gave nothing more than pain and sadness in return. It was always about you.
Do you even know that on some nights as I lay in bed crying and making up excuses for you, I would blame myself.
I would tell myself i wasn’t giving enough. I wasn’t doing all I could….I wasn’t loving well enough.
I told myself it was all my fault and for a long time I lived like that, in so much regret and hurt……
But everything has changed now, you see i have met Love.
I have found Him and I know now what it means to Love.
He has been teaching me his ways and its been an amazing experience learning at His feet.
True Love Tuoyo, is patient and kind. It isn’t envious or proud.
It doesn’t seek its own gain and isn’t easily angered.
It rejoices in the truth. It forgives and forget.
Love always protects,
It always hopes,
It never ceases to believe,
It endures and perserveres.
This is true love as it should be, not what we had and though I care for you so much, I can’t betray my heart.
I know the truth now, the scales have fallen and I can see clearly.
I deserve better.
I know this because I have come face to face with Love Himself and He told me so.