You Have Been Zoned!!!

“Deji, I am so sorry, I don’t even know what to say now…Hmmm! You are asking me out, Hmmm! I thought we have (stammering)…we have…I thought we have passed that level. I see you more like a brother. You have been a very good friend to me; you care for me just like my siblings. I know you really like me; I like you too but let’s not mistake this for love. Given that you are 3 years older than me, I see you more like a school father figure! Please let’s keep it at that, no hard feelings!”

Those were my words, you heard me right. You have been zoned. I am sure you are wondering if to believe your ears. Yes, it is me, of all people in the world calling you a brother, a school father and whatever. I could have said you are like a father to me but I didn’t want you to land me a punch on the face.

Deji Adetiba, my best friend, I knew a day like this would come. You would ask me out and I would put you on the friend zone. There are no surprises; it’s just my predictions and my mother’s words playing out true. My mother always told me: “you can’t have a man as your best friend and insists that no strings are or will be attached, strings get attached”.

It is not your fault for asking me out, I take all the blame because I made you ask me out. How? You ‘ll ask. We were too close as fiends and felt too comfortable in the company of each other. I tell you about all the guys that come to ask me out, we laugh at them together. You tease me by saying “your prince charming will arrive when you are 30”. I tell you it won’t take that long. No, it didn’t take that long, you will soon get to know him.

I have always been there for you too. I have screened all your girlfriends for you. I remember Bola, Funmi and Yetunde that you have dated at different periods of our friendship. They all saw me as a threat to them getting your maximum attention. Of a truth, I was jealous they were diverting your attention away from me. However, your relationships with any of them didn’t last up to 6 months. I have the record. You always came back to me, your dear friend. Without sparing words, you tell me all that transpire in your relationships. I know too much about you; your dirty secrets and weaknesses. I discerned why your relationships didn’t last all along but I didn’t tell you. It is because you unconsciously compare me with those ladies. Yes! That is what you do.

Brother, as I have called you, we have too many public display of affection. You are the first person I hug anytime I am very excited, I hug you to bid goodbyes and just randomly not minding whoever is watching us. It is usually “a random holy hug” but I hug you more often than not. When you want to act naughty, you always peck me at the back of my right hand. Interestingly, there is a 70% chance that you will act naughty every time we are together.

School father, as I have said, I have been too comfortable around you. You knew this; I can fart while sitting next to you. I love you! I love you as my best friend; I don’t want to lose you. I want to always have the friend I can run to when love acts up. I am afraid to lose you to love. I don’t want us to start acting strange when dating comes in. I always want my best friend waiting for me somewhere else not in the condo of love.

These are my fears, I hope you‘ll understand.

NB: This is a work of fiction; all names, incidents and resemblance to reality are products of the author’s imaginations.


23 thoughts on “You Have Been Zoned!!!” by Real Tee (@Anifat)

  1. wow. awesome. As guys we sometimes do this. Falling for the girl best friend and then spoiling the friendship itself entirely. But having a spouse thats your best friends not suppose to be the one thats deemed the “long lasting” ones?… Great write ip. and sorry to the guy. :D

  2. I think I’d choose a best friend with whom I don’t have to pretend than go for prince charming, a total stranger. Nice write.

  3. I dont date friends….cos thier friendship might get ruined immediately the relationship is over..goin back to friends wont work…so i always choose friendship in situations like this…

  4. Things like this do happen and muddle up friendships that may have lasted a life time. Thumbs up!

  5. have to be careful in whatever case……………

  6. Hmmm……….how many guy friends have i zoned out…..many sha

    This is so complicated……..being in-love with your best friend and the other person loves you too can bring such great joy becus you know your partner in and out.

    being in-love with a bestfriend and the other person does not love you back will hurt the friendship. this is when the guy or girl just decides to stay off just so they dont ruin their friendship.

    then jealousy comes in when you see the friend with another guy. this is when some will break the rules and actually tell the other peron “Hey! i have had more than eyes of friendship for you.”

    1. Loving a friend who doesnt love you is worse…expecially if its a guy…chai…been there ..done that…never again

      1. LOL………girl i feel you……have been in a situation where i had a huge crush on my best friend who already had a girlfriend and that girlfriend was my best friend too!

        1. OMG dis girl…you be winsh….exactly my situation…i liked my male bestie….who liked my female bestie…buh thank God i didnt tell sha…..woulda been awkward…

          1. WOW! that awkwardness would have been 2 much ooo i swallowed my own feelings in also maybe it cus i knew he would pick the other girl! chai!!! but we better as friends anyway…..

  7. @ufuomaotebele, Chai, this girl????????????

    1. @innoalifa Hahahahah weytin i do you??

      1. @ufuomaotebele my fingers are crossed……..

        1. Lol……..see this boyy, you wont talk

          1. @ufuomaotebele Have we become Nsian talking drums? :) :) :)

            1. LOL……..Nothing bad in dat naa

              1. @ufuomaotebele well-said……… nothing do you lolzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. You are jealous when he spends time away from you? He’s the first person you hug any time you’re very excited? (Not even your own boyfriend?). You’re comfortable with and enjoy his company? It appears to me that you’re actually in romantic love with Jide but just living in self-denial. I think the problem might be he’s not as physically attractive as you would prefer your boyfriend to be, so you convince yourself you can’t date him.

    1. @Robby, you could be right you know?

      1. @Blackgold, Who knows? Sh#t happens! ;)

  9. I agree. Awkward.

  10. When good /best friends of opposite sex start a relationship, it most often doesn’t work.

  11. Lovely write-up. I see this everyday. E can pain!!!

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