Will You Be OK If Your Child Tells You He Is Gay?

Firstly, I appreciate the expression of shock on your face right now. It practically demonstrates what the term “gay” personally means to you. A large percentage of parents reading this article right now may have never given this question a thought because to them, this just “cannot happen”. But in reality, the truth stares us all in the face. It just seems that with each passing year, the clamor for the forbidden becomes stronger. There used to be a time when if someone mentions that a person is homosexual, the information is greeted with disgust and disappointment. Well… those days are gone.

I hear this all the time and it’s become a major issue with children of this generation. People see someone who is gay and the first thing I hear is, if he is my child, I will disown him. Some other would say it can never happen to me, and others might just quietly say they don’t have a choice but to accept .

From the opinions I garnered from friends and strangers, It is normal for a parent to feel suicidal at such an unexpected turn in the life of his darling child whom he has invested so much in, but also, is it not important to maintain the flow of love for the child? Disowning a child as some parents may be tempted to do; do you think it may produce the desired effect?

Some blame it on western culture; even some are of the opinion that same-sex secondary schools necessitate the transformation of a child into a same-sex lover. You know as the saying goes “when the desirable is unavailable, the available becomes desirable.”

In spite of all this, do you think that with a good measure of love and understanding, proper counseling and strong faith, the child can gradual “unlearn” his forbidden habits and hopefully change? Or better still will you be ok with it as long as the child is happy which is the most important thing to you as a parent?



9 thoughts on “Will You Be OK If Your Child Tells You He Is Gay?” by iyandasdiary (@Iyandasdiary)

  1. This is one question I have asked myself (I’m not a parent yet). Personally, I believe a situation only gets complicated to the extent which I allow it.

    I would love my child. Still, I believe there is a difference between love and sex. Its the confusion between these two, I believe lies the issue; homosexuality. I always make reference to Biblical Jonathan and David; both guys love each other, dearly.

    “……..your love for me was wonderful than that of women.” Those were David’s words at Jonathan’s death.

    Just imagine someone sayin that today, everyone would scream “GAY”, but I doubt they were gay. To a child who says he/she is gay, I would let him/her know that loving someone of same sex is possible, without making it a gay relationship.

  2. I love my four children and of course I would be okay. The only thing that would worry me is the bigots out there. :-)
    “It is normal for a parent to feel suicidal at such an unexpected turn in the life of his darling child”, I’m sorry but that is definitely not normal.
    What does sexual orientation of a person have to do with the love a parent has for them? If a person stops loving their child because of that, they were not fit to be a parent on the first place.
    A parent’s love is unconditional.

  3. Timely article, and as a parent, I agree with jefsaraurmax that a parent’s love is unconditional. But as a Christian, and as one who has studied the Bible, I know, and it is clear (both in the old and new testaments) that the God we serve does not support a Gay lifestyle. He destroyed whole cities for that reason. He condemned it. It was clear in his laws to the Israelites and clearly stated by the apostles of old. No matter what we say or think, or how we justify it, God does not support it. Since I raise my kids to believe in God and obey his word, I clearly expect that none of them will follow this trend.

    But life happens, and circumstances sometimes push kids into different philosophies in life. God himself does not force anyone to accept him, he only offers his salvation, and his way of doing things to men. He was the one who gave us the free will anyway. Our God is a God of love, his doctrine is – Love me, Love the people around you. Love is patient, love is kind, bears all things, believes all things, Love is not rude or self seeking, Love accepts people for who they are.

    For example, If my child steals, I will never hate him, I may hate stealing, I may even condemn it, but I will never hate him. The same applies to the gay lifestyle. I can only pray and ask that he/she be confronted with the truth.

  4. Isn’t sad!
    Such insanity in a sane society!

  5. I don’t really see how I can be happy knowing that. I shudder just to think of it. It’s scary.

  6. All habits can be unlearned. It is a matter of choice. And I don’t believe in the “if it makes it them happy it is ok. concept. ” If going to steal something you cannot afford will make your kid happy will you do it?
    The problem is that in our world today we allow children to begin to make IMPORTANT decisions for themselves too early in life.

    Children start out as empty vessels and for a long time they will be whatever you put in them. If you inject the right stuff in them it is highly unlikely they won’t turnout ok. Even if they do lose their way they usually make it back so long as that right foundation as been rooted in them.
    So parents should be parents and not homies, pals, friends e.t.c If you don’t educate your kids the world will do it for you. if you don’t teach them the basic rules and and regulations of life they will make up their own good or bad. Above all if you don’t teach them to be strong willed and independent they will pick up and follow the “Jones ” in whatever they do just to belong.

  7. Hmmm… no comment.

  8. Now, who is saying that homosexuality is a habit that is learned? We are not talking about tobacco here, or some bad habit. Some people are born with that sexual orientation. Believe it. Havnt you ever seen a kid who from just looking at him you immediately suspect he could be gay?
    The crave for sex is not what a person learns, it is in born, the outlet for the craving equally so. If a man happens inexplicably to get turned on by other men and not women, should we say he acquired the habit?

  9. I beg to remain silent……………

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