Letter to My Next

Dear (Insert Name Here),
I hope this missive meets you in good health. I’m sure you’re already making some conclusions about me just by reading this but let me assure you; I am not a geek, neither am I a weirdo nor am I jobless. I am just a guy who has been let down so many times that I’ve lost count. I know you don’t quite know me yet, we probably have only mentioned each other a few times on Twitter and liked each other’s pictures on Instagram but I know you and I know we’ll be the best of friends in a little while.
I see us having a pretty amazing relationship, but before that can happen I’d like to give you a few pointers as to the kind of person I am so you don’t misinterpret my gestures.

First, I am unashamedly sapiosexual. The fact that you’re reading this is prove that I’m attracted to you not only because you’re beautiful but because you’re intelligent. I love ladies that challenge me and I’m very sure you’ll be worth the chase. Let me say however that so long as we’re together, my ‘Sapiosexuality’ is turned off. Nevertheless don’t take the fact that I love challenges too serious because as much as I love challenges, I hate trying too hard. I can be very persistent with ladies but when I don’t see changes or ‘Green lights’ as I like to call them, I move on.

Second,

I am a romantic. A young boy with an old school attitude. Yes I exude the ‘cool guy, playboy, all chicks man’ aura but trust me I just want to love and be loved back for who I am. Beneath the tough exterior is a little boy begging to be loved, I hope we last long enough for you to see this side of me. I am the ‘Good Morning, Good Night’ text messages kind of guy, (Yes I’m old fashioned) but I know you can handle that because if you couldn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this. I love surprises even though I act like I loathe them with a passion, I am a spur of the moment, spontaneous, ‘ life is too short’ guy so pardon me if at times I spend lavishly albeit foolishly on you. I won’t try to woo you with money or material things whatsoever so if you’re expecting such, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I’ve learnt the hard way that a guy shouldn’t be too forthcoming about his financial status to a lady who isn’t in love with him or has agreed to date him. It is bound to be a problem in the nearest future.

Third, I love my Mum to death. I don’t think this needs further explanation. I just love that woman with a passion that is unparalleled. You cannot and must not compete for her affection with me. I promise to love you with the whole of my being but please do NOT try to compete with my Mum, you will FAIL.

In conclusion, I want you to know that this is not a love letter, you’ll get that when the time comes. It is just my way of ‘putting it all out there’. There are a lot of things I feel you should be prepared for when it comes to being my girlfriend but I don’t want to overwhelm you. Just know that I am definitely, irrevocably, helplessly attracted to you.

P.S: Another important thing is that I love writing. After God, my Mum (Family), Food and Music, writing comes next. You’ll be receiving a lot of messages, emails, dms from me. I just love putting how I feel into words. This is probably the Tenth or Eleventh missive I’ve written since our first interaction ever. I hope I don’t come on to you too strong that you’ll be scared and decide to place me in one of the many zones you ladies have for guys nowadays. I don’t really function well in any zone except the ‘Friends with Benefits’ zone. So let’s leave our options opened for now, and enjoy each other’s company till we get to the next stage.

P.S: I also do not believe in valentine but for the season, have a beautiful valentine.

Without wax
Tolu Oke.



16 thoughts on “Letter to My Next” by tolu oke (@teekellz)

  1. Nice and probably too nice a listing

  2. Always nice to give people heads ups.

    Fantastic writing.

    1. Yes o, heads up of life……………. loooolllzzzz Thanks man.

  3. Nice one. Had one mix up up there – prove instead of proof.

    1. @myne Thank you so much. I noticed that when I was proofreading, thought I changed it already though but thanks for pointing it out anyway.

  4. Interesting points out. All in all, I was entertained.

  5. Nice one.
    I believe a lot of people can identify with it.

  6. These are the self deluded boys that make women hate men. I am this, i am that, i like this, i like that.
    Women, they dont care for all that.

    I am watching you!

    Lol ( just added lol, so he will think i am joking)

    1. Lol, nice one @kaycee duly noted.
      P.S – I am watching you too.

  7. Good read. I can relate to this

  8. Ok next. Thanks for giving me your rules and regulations.
    I’ll try to adhere to them.
    But expect mine very soon.

    1. @bunmiril Thanks for reading, would be waiting to hear from you too.

  9. @teekellz, i actually like it. On you being ‘self-deluded’, I’ve got no idea what @kaycee is talking about. There are still a few females out there who’d rather be given a sincere and straight forward heads-up…instead of getting stuck with ‘drama-queen-syndrome’ prone boys.
    It’s kind of cute actually (your missive, not boys having syndromes). If the babe can’t stand you, she’ll sit and let the next candidate for your ‘missives’ step up. It’s really not that complicated now is it?
    Nice one. :)

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