For my friend

On 30th November 2013 I lost a true friend and brother to dead. If I would have been given a chance to do battle with dead over my friends life I would have gladly done it, but alas dead comes and takes at its own time and convenience and no man dead or alive can challenge it. On his way to Yola he had a ghastly motor accident along with his wife. On Friday 29 November 2013 I received a call from a former course mate asking me if I had any news of the accident which at that time I had no knowledge of, I immediately called his mobile phone but was told that the number I was calling was switched off so I called his younger sister who confirmed the bad news that he and his wife were on admission at Ahmadu Bello University Teaching Hospital (ABUTH) . Before I hung up I told her I was coming to see him the next day. I didn’t know that I will never see him again, that I will never hear his voice again, that I will never hear his laugh or see a smile upon his face again if I had I would have set out for Zaria immediately I hung up for by the time I got to Zaria the next day he was already gone, the only consolation I got was that I was there to witness his funeral to say my final goodbye to him.
Sometimes I wonder if he would never have had the accident if the roads in Nigeria are not the killing machines they have become due to bad and corrupt leadership
I first met Abdulrahman Jaafar when I got admission to study Law at Ahmadu Bello University Zaria. He had grown up in Zaria and was the best coursemate to show us the town. He was a kind, humble and jovial person and had a way to make me laugh no matter how sad I was he had a way to make me laugh or smile.
It was while we were in 300 level that Abdulrahman and I became close, so close we were like conjoined twins whose survival is co dependent. We read together, ate together and I eventually moved into his house in the tudun Wada part of Zaria town. He was truly a brother from another Mother and Father. When I moved into his family house I became a member of the family, there were some children who lived in the house students or almajiris as we called them from different towns who were in Zaria to study the Quran and had no place to stay Abdulrahmans father out of his benevolence accommodated them and did his best to feed some of them to lessen the burden of them having to go begging for food.
I remember the time when I fell ill contracted cystitis an ailment that causes severe pain in the abdomen he took care of me and shared the night with me when I couldn’t sleep because of the severe pain I was going through I don’t think any of my mates would have taken care of me the way he did. He endured my shouts throughout the night as I tried to cope with the excruciating pain he was there to share the pain with me.
I can still recollect our till daybreak days (T.D.B) when we used to read throughout the night during exams the uncountable candles and mosquitoe incense that died at our hands whenever there was no electricity supply and we just had to read whether we wanted to or not.
Before I met Abdulrahman I used to see myself as an atheist or at best an agnostic, I was not even bothered or afraid to tell people that I was not a true believer in religion to me religion just seemed to breed hatred and enmity among adherents of different faiths dividing the people instead of uniting them. I saw myself as a muslim only because my parents were muslims I even used to enjoy debating with those born again Christians and Mallams, but he rekindled the light of Islam in me and I soon found myself going to the mosque to pray even without been asked or forced.
Abdulrahman was a fan of music especially reggae I on the other hand was more inclined to blues and R n B, but he opened my ears to that genre of music that I thought was for drug addicts and losers especially weed smokers who were truants and a nuisance to society I thought reggae music was not fit for my ears, but he made me understand and appreciate the meaning behind the lyrics of artists like Bob Marley, Lucky Dube e.t.c.
We shared a lot of memorable events in university so many that I don’t think this platform can contain all those memories. The walks to and fro from his place to the campus and back. The S.U.G campaign for Shehu another fallen comrade who just like Abulrahman was also taken away by dead in a car accident. Those were indeed wild days as we all put in our best to see that Shehu won the S.U.G presidency. Abdulrahman was one of those in the frontline with no hypocritical desire to see Shehu succeed I preferred to stay invisible but with the same zeal and desire to see that Shehu won. I was just me been truthful to myself as an introvert.
Like all humans he was not perfect he also had his weakness and shortcomings but all of that just fades away in the light of his good deeds.
My biggest regret with regard to him is that after our university days we began to drift away from each other. I got employment with the ministry of justice while he got employed by the DSS the nature of our work especially his own meant we got robbed of the time to spend with each other, and then he got married and settled down. His wedding was a memorable event that will stay with me for life. In university we were not really skirt chasers I’m not saying we didn’t have any interest in girls, we did go hunting for some but it was never really serious we preferred to concentrate on our studies determined to make it. His marriage changed our status quo as he left me in bacherlorhood while he entered the married men club and like a true friend he couldn’t wait to see my own wedding and kept pestering me to get married and settle down while I kept on creating one excuse or another to put off my own, I just wish he is still alive to share in my own wedding just as I did his own.
Sometimes I find myself on the internet. I open my facebook page and there he is among my friends list, I open his pictures and find myself starring at them, with tears in my eyes I remember the past. I go to whatsapp and the chats I’ve had with him are still there, it often feels like he is still alive and at any moment he will come online so we can continue chatting but then reality steps in and tells me that will never happen.
Abdulrahman now that you are gone all I can do is pray, pray that you have found peace, pray that that your final abode is paradise, pray that we will still meet again. Adieu Abdulrahman till we meet to part no more.



11 thoughts on “For my friend” by Mamman Saba Mustapha (@danjuma)

  1. I like writes that deals with friendship; especially true friendships.

    I spotted some issues:
    – Some of the places you used “dead” I guess it should be “death”.
    – Punctuation issues too.

  2. @namdi thanks for pointing out those errors I guess I have become quite rusty since I have not written anything for sometime now. I will have to improve on my writing.

  3. Oh my. I am sorry bout your loss, Saba and I do pray that all those who he left behind would find comfort in the fact, that he does rest in peace.
    It’s friendship like yours that stand the test of time and show one what it is to be a friend, growing on each other and going right.
    His memory is one that would live on in your heart and that, for me, is a comfort.

    Having read this and your last piece, I noticed that you make mistakes with two spellings. Dead and death, been and being. They may sound similar, but they have different usage. Check em out.
    Well done, Saba.

  4. May he rest in peace.

  5. @Bubbllinna thank you so much for the condolence and for pointing out those grammatical and spelling errors. I love positive criticism that make me improve on my writing.

  6. @Bubbllinna thank you so much for the condolence and for pointing out those grammatical and spelling errors. I love positive criticism that helps me improve on my writing.

  7. Please accept my condolence, May his soul rest in perfect peace.

  8. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is hard but like writers, at dark times, sometimes writing about the loss can be cathartic and help us heal. I hope you heal in due time and learn to remember him with nostalgia and smile at the memory of the good times.

    1. @topazo thank you for sharing my loss, and yes sometimes writing is indeed the best way to deal with loss.

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