Not unlike that of my lungs for air
And it fermented within me, that craving
Till i got wholly drunk in it –
Drunk on you!
You should know something about drunk people,
How as the alcohol flows the tongue unrolls,
But this intoxication stifled my tongue
How could that be when I had so much to say to you,
The alcohol must have worked on my voice,
Drying out its stream from the outside in
It might have been that the expensive watch I wore
To impress you
Made me think I had time on my hands
And the youthful jaunt of your face
Fooled me to believe we’ll be young forever.
So, forgive me
I swallowed my voice,
Fed my fears and played the Ostrich.
Though that might be better than being the Vulture,
circling in greed, waiting to plunder –
Stripping off the gem your heart must be.
But Love is not all about the feeling, the moment counts too,
Like the shredded love I gave you,
Soaked in the grime of our fragility
Too careful to be had, too precious to loose
I gave you, it…Outright!
Long before we named it Misbegotten
Shrouded it in the garments of invisibility
Locked it in a box made of the hardwood called Forbidden
Tied it to the dead weights of our joined fears
Dug a whole, yay big, in quicksand, swung it in
And sang a silent dirge for what was never is.
Still, it had a beguiling duskiness
Called me back to it, like a repenting Jonah
I crawled by and dug it out, waiting for a decadent passion to show
But this was resurrection, a ten year defiant, beating fresh.
You should know I could not let it go again,
So I forgave you a love, and brought it to you to forgive it too
Our bastard spawn, stagnated
That we had let our lives go by, and found safe loves
So i brought you that soiled, ancient love
And asked you, just to forgive it, for being.