Some Mothers Do Have Them…

Some Mothers Do Have Them…

funny(9)Not too long ago we got talking about the bedroom flat generation and scripted below are hilarious accounts of some of the funniest kids I know as narrated by the bedroom flat generation parents.

CARTOON TINZ

My kids are glued to the TV, scratch that, glued to cartoon network. Its gotten so bad that they practically kidnap the remote, not only at home but also when we visit their grandpa.

So while they are in their room, they get to dictate what we watch in the main sitting room.

The eldest, my 7 year old boy is the master strategist for the gang. The trick these days is that while the station is on cartoon network, the remote just gets missing *beat that*.

I knew I was in big trouble when I got out of my room on a friday night by 11pm and found the television still on and as you will rightfully guess, the station was tuned to cartoon network.

As I stepped into the sitting room, I was just in time to hear a ‘hissing sound’ from a corner of the room and what I saw next wiped off every form of sleep from my eyes.

Holding his ‘pipi’ in a corner of my sitting room with his eyes still very much glued to Doc. Mcstuffins (I know the names of their favourite cartoons), my second son, a 4 year old, oblivious of my presence was ‘pissing’ on the rug!

When he saw me, he froze…his hands were still on his ‘pipi’ but nothing was coming out anymore, while his eyes were wide open like he had just seen a ghost – that to me was enough punishment.

TAKING MEDICATION

Another very obviously shocked parent recounts the hostage situation by her 4 year old daughter (what’s with that age?).

Mary simply refused to take her drugs, the lady says, ‘insisting that I first start chanting ‘go Mary, go Mary, go Mary, go Mary…’

The dad walks in, right in the middle of the drama and does the hard parent trick, ‘will you take your drugs this very moment!’ He said with a lot of steam in his voice.

Mary just looks past her dad like he wasn’t there and with twinkling eyes tells me, ‘and daddy must join you to say go Mary, or else I won’t dwink‘ she says, shaking her head.

Two minutes later, everyone in the house including her macho dad is screaming ‘go Mary, go Mary, go Mary, go Mary’ and she’s beaming with smiles as she takes her drugs.

I just smiled, remembering the slaps I would have received from my mum if I had played this same trick when I was a child. She would have trapped my nostrils with her fingers while shoving the drugs down my throat.

Go Ronke kor, Come Ronke ni

FOOD MATTERS

Children can be super eaters. I know not because I’m a medical doctor but because I’m a parent.

Imagine my sons – little pre-teens -almost eating as much as my husband?

The incident that sticks out in my memory is when I made some okra soup for my husband – same soup that happens to be the favourite for my 3 year old girl.

After serving her eba that had its size almost as big as my husbands’, I was surprised to see her come to me in the kitchen some 20 minutes later with her plate in her hand.

‘Mummy I want more eba,’ she says stretching her plate to me with her left hand on her tummy. ‘I want my belly to buuurrrsssst!’

At that moment, I couldn’t hold it anymore, I burst – sorry in my child’s voice, I buuurrrsssst! – out laughing.

‘I want my belly to buuurrrsssst!’

As I sit here trying to type this, my nieces won’t just let me concentrate – I call them rug rats – same ones from the bedroom flat generation .

The 8 year old Radiant is trying to bully the 4 year old Bliss to letting her teach her some school work and Bliss is having none of that. She insists on doing it herself.

Finally Bliss goes, ‘uncle will help me do it,’ as she snuggles up to me.

Reluctantly I stop what I’m doing and try to see what the work is about and as soon as her older sister goes away, she takes her books away from me and sets about doing the works by herself.

‘Why did you say I would help you do it if you wanted to do it by yourself?’ I asked after failing to convince her to let me help.

She smiles cunningly ‘I said you would help me do it because that way I would do it by myself and Radiant will go away with her trouble.’ She says as she goes about her work, paying me no more attention.

I’m stunned – a 4 year old has just successfully used my head.

Were we this way growing up?

I really do doubt that. This is a whole new generation. They do unbelievable things especially when they are 4 years and above.

As I sit staring at my niece who doesn’t have my time anymore, I just smile and mutter, ‘Some mothers do have them’.



35 thoughts on “Some Mothers Do Have Them…” by Dee's hive (@dees-hive)

  1. Lol…..some mothers do have them. Yep!

    Nice one.

    1. @namdi thanks a bunch for stopping by

  2. They do indeed…..mine are all like that too.

      1. ..for stopping by that is…

  3. End times….lol….nice one.
    mc is a medical doctor naaa, your bio says Engineer?

    1. @namdi, thanks man! appreciated @Nalongo…hmmmm, some pretty bunch you’ll have there. @clemency, am glad, the piece made u smile, and for mc being a medical doc. and my bio reading Engineer, i really didnt get that…the bio info is correct though…methinks its a case of mistaken identity…

  4. Some Mothers sure do have them. nice one.

  5. I only tag my buddies when I am impressed. Oya @Sibbylwhyte, @Mimiadebayo, @Chemokopi, @Olajumoke, @Afronuts, @Ogaoga sef…” lol

    Well done.

    1. Thanks for tagging me @Hymar.
      Good work @dees-hive.
      The children of these days….we can only laugh at times.

      1. @olajumoke thanks for the feedback

    2. @Hymar thanks for the mentions and it nice to see that you enjoyed yourself. can be very hard to please writers. i appreciate it

  6. Lol @ “Go Ronke kor, Come Ronke ni.” Not only will they shove it down your throat, they will make you say ‘Thank you’ afterwards.

    That 4-year old knew what he was doing. Still cracks me up thinking of him doing the deed in the corner.

    1. @SharonWrites Gbam! you know that situation…you must say thank you afterwards or else more koboko. thanks for stopping by

  7. It s just crazy. That pissing kid ehn? I just cracked up like madt. Poor mom.

  8. The parents shouldn’t dare complain o. When they too want their children to be ‘butter’ like the ‘oyinbo’ kids.
    Well done.

    1. @bunmiril shei…they better not complain…thanks…feedback appreciated

  9. LOL! Kids say and do the darnedest things!

    You are so dog on right! Today’s generation of kids are unusual.

    They are a specie of mischievous, rowdy, fast-grabbing, super-intelligent creatures. Sometimes they are more interesting to watch than television!

    1. @Afronuts ‘specie of mischievous, rowdy, fast-grabbing, super-intelligent creatures’, you got their tag just perfectly right…thanks for stopping by. appreciated

  10. This got me laughing so hard, kids of dis days knws wot dy want n hw 2 get it

    1. @Koollove sure they do…unstoppable beings.

  11. I smiled while reading this because I can relate to these kids.
    Recently I spend almost half my day around kids and your examples are spot on.
    Kids of these days eh…God help us.
    Nice one.

    1. @Mimiadebayo thanks for the feedback…God really must help us cos they are something else…words fail to describe them

  12. Some mother’s do have them? Well I think all mothers have them! I can write a sitcom on the type of antics my kids get up to. Very nice read.

    1. @amy78 thanks for the feedback…would be looking out for that sitcom…

  13. Great work. I laughed at so many parts. It’s impressive how you captured the innocent mischief of children.

  14. This is so good, thanks for the mention @Hymar.

    @dees-hive: I laughed out loud in many places, especially the pissing part and the ‘remoting from bedroom’ and remote getting lost when cartoon network is showing something. And the niece, too! This brings back a lot of memories.

    And you know what intrigues me the most? Strong, sophisticated writing here. Fluid read, too.

    Well done. Keep improving your art.

    1. thanks @chemokopi for taking out time to comment and using such nice words for the work…i’ll ‘frame’ the comments. *winks*

  15. This funny piece got me laughing all the way. Keep it up.

    1. thanks for stopping by @uzywhyte its greatly appreciated.

  16. @dees-hive, this is why I thought you were a woman.
    You see, non-fiction work on children tend to be from female writers and the voices here are that of women.
    I remember reading this, I missed the bit about uncle though. I still think it is hilarious and I can definitely relate.
    The boy that did it on the rug…now that’s classic.
    Good work. Impressive even.

    1. thank you so much @olajumoke *smiles* @this is why i thought you were a woman. i get the gist. its nice having you here again…appreciated

  17. LOL! @ go Ronke kor go Ronke ni. my mum would rather repeatedly chorus “Ronke maa SURPRISE e” (Ronke i’ll surprise you). children are fun to be with, when they are around, you complain; and when away, you miss them. i cant wait to have mine.

  18. @shovey thanks for stopping by…i see you get the gist…i’m sure you were surprised a lotta times when you were much younger *smiles* i appreciate you dropping your thots. have a great day

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