Of Sleep and Wakefulness 2

Of Sleep and Wakefulness 2

And this time I landed on a platform in the middle of the pubic reading of a manifesto by the ruling party and I watched the few potbellied men choreograph party dance moves for the numerous skinny people at the bottom of the platform to follow and if the people copied properly they got wads of cash and other goodies.
And then one of the ruling party men came up and asked the people below to support his ambition with their votes. He wore a local bowler hat and he promised to build roads for them and ensure that their children got free education and embezzle less than a quarter of what his predecessors had taken and he was about to continue with other promises when the man who had handed him the microphone stepped up and grabbed it and told everyone how this strategy had become a bit obsolete so that most of the people had begun to see though it and asked for a minute so they could get together and brainstorm on something worthwhile to tell the people.
They came up with promises to legalize abortion and child marriages and they argued about gay marriages and adjourned the decision till a later date and they called for their puppet to resume his appeal but I grabbed the microphone and asked them what they were going to do about the wormlike corruption that was taking over My Country and about all the money that belonged to My Country that was lodged in foreign accounts and how come theft and some other crimes always went unpunished except the offender was poor and they replied that the sun rose in the west and set in the east and that Australia was a country and also a continent and that the Antarctica was uninhabited by man and so many other things.
And one of them accused me of asking the questions where the entire international community would listen in and interfere with private national matters and soon all of the potbellied men began pointing accusing fingers at me and all the skinny people below the platform began to argue amongst themselves if I should have asked the questions to the hearing of the international community or not and some of them also began to point accusing fingers at me while some of them supported me. And I knew that the ruling party was made up of evil geniuses who employed diversionary tactics to set up wars and confuse others.
And it reminded me of the story my father once told me about the most powerful animal who didn’t have a name and who bullied and extorted earnings from the other animals since they were weaker and who soon became so blinded by his arrogance that he unconsciously told the housefly his weakest point which was that all he had was his imposing appearance and no strength at all and the housefly went away singing and buzzing so that the others learned it and he was soon dethroned and the morals of the story were that pride comes before a fall and that every secret would eventually be known to all and life turns around unexpectedly but turns all the same.
And the police force called off their industrial action but it was useless because crime had taken human forms and erected homes in My Country so they simply retired and all became farmers and left their jobs to the soldiers. And the University staff continued their industrial action.
And I woke up and I was sweating profusely and I could not go back to sleep. Then my wife woke up and asked me why I wasn’t sleeping and I told her I had dreams and she suggested we pray about my dreams.
And I told her about the disintegration of My Country and asked her to pray against it and she laughed and said there was no need, that it was only the poor people in My Country who believed the nation would someday dissolve so that they would have a level playing ground to start over and she said we should not waste the request did but I insisted and she did and we said Amen.
And I told her about the terrorists and asked her to pray that they be given a better sense of target during their training so that they would know where to strike rather than going after people who were worse off than themselves and she did and we said Amen.
And I told her about the flying chairs and asked her to pray that soldiers in My Country be taken to the legislative house to receive proper training on missile evasion and she did and I said Amen.
And I told her about our sons and their taunting classmates and asked her to pray that My Country’s oil reservoirs would miraculously switch to be concentrated on my father’s land and dry up completely in other places but she told the Lord that she also wanted oil on her father’s land and I didn’t argue and we said Amen.
And I told her about the amnesty and asked her to pray that her farts would get us amnesty from the government but she stopped and eyed me and hissed loudly and told the Lord to forgive us both and we said Amen.
And I told her about the corruption and asked her to pray that it was eradicated from My Country and she did but she stopped awhile to remind me that corruption had aided the official promotion back home that enabled our family land the package that came with the expensive relocation to this alien land and the nice apartment we lived in and so we decided that a percentage of corruption had to stay back and we haggled on the percentage that would remain and I wanted five percent but my wife wanted ten percent and we had to settle on eight point seven five percent and we said Amen.
And I told her about the ruling class discussions and asked her to pray that their minds would be touched to improve My Country but she told me not to bother, that it was an impossible request and so we saved the prayer to be used on something else and I told her about my encounter with the Lord, she said ‘you see?’
And I told her about the reading of the party manifesto and asked her to pray that the ruling party would crumble into factions that would fight against each other and point accusing fingers at each other and they would bare their secrets to the entire world and they would run out of diversionary tactics and evil genius and they would wither and die and she stopped and looked at me hard and said that I had become quite a hateful person but in the end she did and we said Amen.
And I wanted to tell her about all the industrial actions but I decided not to because I thought it could be the only way through which My Country was going to be able to get anything done in the area of problem solving and so I told her it was finished and she seemed delighted to go back to sleep.
I then lay awake the rest of the morning listening to her snores and farts and thinking that patriotism was a lot of things.
It was believing in your country and refusing to give and take bribes and taking a stand against corruption and embarking on industrial actions even on an empty stomach and not cutting queues and detribalizing your mind and your tongue and treating everyone the same way and respecting the lives and property and rights of others and respecting traffic lights and supporting the soccer team even if they are a hundred goals down and being optimistic even if your house was falling on your head or was submerged in water and no one was coming to save you and not resorting to violence and addressing your leaders as Your Excellency even if they were not really worth it and learning and listening to the national anthem and awakening from slumber to think what to do for your nation and not expect much from the nation in return so that you don’t get disappointed in the end and believing that the cliché of a fool at forty or fifty being a fool forever applies only to humans and not to nations and whole lot of other things that I can not even remember right now.
I still haven’t slept a wink all morning and I guess it’s all in the pains of being a patriot.
Happy Independence everyone.



7 thoughts on “Of Sleep and Wakefulness 2” by focus (@focus)

  1. What a unique way of writing about our country. Well done.

  2. The change we want starts from us.

  3. Well done. What a Penkelemes of a nation

    1. thank you. it is isn’t it?

  4. @focus,

    This was funny in parts, for instance, where the MC and his wife were haggling over what percentage of corruption they would ask God to allow to remain in Nigeria in their prayers.

    The tone of the story was very surreal; I wish it had had more punctuation to make it easier to read, but I don’t know if that was deliberate to fit into the style of the narration.

    Well done.

  5. Thanks Tola. The style was intended in fact to be quite easily read. i only hope it did. Thanks again.

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