Lagos Wives

It’s seven in the morning and her body says rise
it stops all dreams and she slowly opens her eyes
she roles from side to side asking this alarm why
she gets up, goes outside and looks to the sky
it’s the dawn of a new day she finally realized

She up late today so she has to do quick
she takes a shower and grabs a very quick meal
she hops into her car and drives along the streets
she’s close to her office but held up in traffic
after about an hour she finally arrives at her office
due to her lateness her boss issues her a query
without much panic she gets to work to avoid dismiss.

Much drama on the road as she heads back home
accidents here and there, all road officials on their toes
while some stop to watch, others drive listening to radio
she gets back home hoping to have a nice doze
but no! her husband moans and her children too groan

Not all days of the week are totally the same
Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays are the three days wives await.

17 thoughts on “Lagos Wives” by bunmiril (@bunmiril)

  1. Nice poem. It really tells the morose tale of Lagos wives.

    Watch out with the punctuation placement tho. I know it is tricky business gettin it ryt in poetry, but it can be done

  2. @Hymar, must you comment before me in all the posts on NS?
    Lols! Ride on sir, I’ll never insult your.

    @bunmiril, nice telltale, but it’s too flat for my liking. You can do ßε̲̣̣̣̥ttε̲̣̣̣̥r, like adding a little twist here and there, a little depth perhaps.
    This might be an oversight: “She up late today so she has to do quick”, I think it ought to read thus, ‘she wakes up…’. Also, ‘do quick’ sounds like a broken-down-English to me. Revisit.

    1. Wanted to say that too, do quick na brokiiiin… This poem started very well, the first stanza looked like I’d stumbled upon a splendid poem, but the following lines watered it down, they didn’t correspond with the title and the first verse.
      I was expecting you to tell a good tale of Lagos Wives with the drama and all, but …

  3. What is the overall message of this poem again?

    Typos and grammatical errors…

    And no, lagos wives do not wake up by seven a.m

    Well done

    1. You’re welcome, my advice, this poem ain’t finished yet, work on it and see.

      Another thing, I don’t believe that shiii in your bio about your writing… I hope you don’t too.

      Check out the poems here on NS, lotsa of good stuffs, you can start with mine…

      keep writing, the sky is your stepping stone…

  4. @Chime221, go joor. You too like to fine trouble. Lol.

    Ps- my name s Hymar and I don’t v kids yet so can the ‘sir’

  5. This Lagos wife is enjoying. She wakes at 7 a.m?
    As a typical lagos wife, I wake up earlier than that cos i have to get my kids ready for the day and my hubby will also be asking where i kept his underwear or his shoes.

    As if all the commotion in the house aint enuf, i’ll still face lagos traffic in my bid to get to work.
    At work am busy looking at the time n praying for closing time cos I have to get back home on time to make dinner.

    My dear, ur poem aint narrative enuf for me to relate with.
    I am so sure that u can do better.
    Good luck dearie

  6. I thought i mentioned that she was up late. tnks @aadetoyin

    1. @bunmiril, OK Ooº°˚ ˚°ºoo guess I missed that. But its still aint narrative enuf. She still left home without referring to her kids and hubby.

  7. Jo (@josephoguche)

    nice poem .. you are good in poetry @bunmiril … you missed the second word for the second stanza. The poetic tale could have been elongated to capture more realities of the lagos house wife.

  8. Tnks @joseph oguche i just noticed that error.

  9. See me see wahala Oº°˚˚°º! @hymar, obviously I know your name. But when did knighthood became exclusively for those with kids? In other words, when did having kids became a criterion for bestowing of knighthood? I thought that it’s given to those who have distinguished themselves by their act of valour in †ђξ defence of God, †ђξ king or †ђξ state, etc?
    Meanwhile, modern English usage in letter writing demands that while addressing a man, you must start with, “dear sir,”. So I’m not wrong in using ‘sir’ for you.
    Thank you.

  10. First off, keep doing all the things you love, they would help your writing.
    This ‘poem’ was flat and then I realized that you pointed out that you preferred talking to writing. This seemed like you were just, talking.
    Keep writing, reading and learning.
    Well done, Bunmi.

  11. @sibbylwhyte tnks for your comment.

  12. A journey of a thousand mile start with a step. You re getting there. Keep writing.

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