Fused Thoughts – Tales From Two Women II

Fused Thoughts – Tales From Two Women II

The pot and flask fell as I quickly stifled a scream. The blows landed on my back and side as I cowered down shielding myself as much as I could especially my face. As always, I didn’t want the children or the neighbours to know but this time Lily saw and perhaps knew. My husband had dropped her on the couch, thank God.

It was her cry that made me look up and that was when one of the blows landed on my face. My husband saw me cradling my face and backed away.

None of the children had ever witnessed my battering. It was something that had always been done in private and we had always been careful not to touch my face. It was like an unwritten horrid agreement between us never to let anyone know but we had broken the rules, we had forgotten about Lily.

My jaw didn’t feel like mine and I remained cowered slowly willing my body to move, praying that the boys didn’t come out.

There was no point dwelling on what had just happened. I needed to get up, warm the rice and get hot water. The children’s breakfast would go in their lunch box. Most of the rice was on the floor, still not looking at Lily, I scooped the rice careful not to take in dirt or sand.

I really wished Lily would stop crying but I didn’t trust my voice and so couldn’t call any of my sons to help me. I also didn’t want to carry her into Shola’s flat. Taking a deep breath, I willed calm into my voice ready to call Jeremiah but just then, Benjamin, my second son came in.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I heard a knock as I was stepping out of the bathroom. That should be Ma Lily; she was coming in a bit late. I had less than ten minutes to leave the house.

Opening the door, I wanted to ask why she was late but I saw someone else. This was not the woman who had knocked my door with urgency nearly fifteen minutes back. She evaded my eyes and the hands that held the pot and flask were a bit unsteady.

Wordlessly, I pointed towards the kitchen and watched her walk stiffly in. Perhaps I should ask her what was wrong; the change in fifteen minutes was alarming.

“Ma Lily, is something wrong?”

A slight shake of the head was what I got in return. She had her back to me and wouldn’t even acknowledge my concerned attempt. I couldn’t stand forever wishing she would talk.

Turning, I walked away.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Is there anything too hard for God to do?” I came in to hear our Pastor’s words. That particular sermon was one of my husband’s favourite. Jeremiah and Benjamin ran in dragging my handbag and greeted their father as I carried Lily in.

“Good evening,” I greeted him a bit formally, moving towards the room.

“Hmm…welcome.” He had his Bible and jotter open and pretended to be engrossed in the sermon but I knew.

He was always uncomfortable after any altercation perhaps he felt ashamed and embarrassed as I felt too. Why didn’t dialogue work for us as it did for others?

Dropping Lily, I unbuttoned my shirt. Today’s work had been a little tasking. I felt like lying on the bed and never getting up for at least two days but I couldn’t for the moment because I needed cooking gas.

My body felt stiff as I undressed into my house clothes. Removing Lily’s shoes I quickly undressed her and left her to her devices.

Giving the kitchen a quick glance, I saw that everything was as I left it in the morning. That meant that there was no miracle, no surprise filled gas tank. The rice in the sitting room would have been on the floor too if I hadn’t mandated one of my sons to sweep it in the morning.

Walking into the sitting room, I paused and took a breath. “Please, can you help me get gas? There’s no gas for cooking this evening.”

“You should have said so before leaving the house in the morning.”

“Sorry, I forgot.”

“So, I should leave this sermon because of cooking gas?” He asked, stretching as he got up.

I watched as he took his sweet time. I wanted to scream, let it all out or take a walk far from everything, just somewhere I could catch my breath.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I was dead tired and so glad to be home. Did I say how much I hated work? My boss used the ‘you are a lifesaver’ line on me anytime I wanted to give it all up. My phone rang as I was lazily climbing the stairs. It was my fiancé.

“Hello boo,” I cooed into the mouth piece. “Hey, leave that place!” I yelled at one of my neighbour’s children. The twat was throwing stones at my car.

“Chijiiiiii…..oke!” The twat’s mother yelled from their verandah. “Leave that place before dey use eye kill you oh! I no wan hear any nbgati nbagti this evening.”

“Why won’t you hear okoro okoro this evening when your child cannot greet his elders.”

Shey as you yaself greet me abi? Na me tie your womb abi na me nefa give you husband…anuofia!”

“You are one thousand times mad. Is it by spouses and children? This your children that look science experiments gone wrong. No go look for work oh, stay for house turn to amoeba, nonsense!”

Fumbling with my door, I opened the door and stumbled inside breathing hard. It was then I realized that I hadn’t disconnected my call.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“I want to open a shop. I want us to have extra income,” I said, whilst arranging the wardrobe.

“Who will stay in the shop?”

“We will get someone while you supervise.”

“What will you be doing all the while, supervise me?”

“Why will you say a thing like that? I just want something to occupy your time; I know it must be hard for…”

“Did I not say so?” His sudden interruption had me bewildered.

“W…what do you mean?” I stuttered, hating how he had backed me again into a corner.

“When women earn money they begin to think they can dictate the lives of others. This morning you were busy complaining of the soup in the kitchen, you later had to go upstairs begging to warm meals and perhaps talk on how difficult life is for you; so people would pity you and have contempt for me. Now, I am fit for a shop.”

There was no need to give a response, I had again lost control of a simple conversation; but he continued.

“All of a sudden, you have got wings. I put you through school, opened a shop for your mother and now I am fit for a shop. If I still had my job, would you have recommended I supervise a shop? Wouldn’t you have done it yourself, regardless of how tight your schedule was? When I lose my anger, one would think I am not justified. They might look at me and call me a wife beater but what about the wife who throws veiled insults and makes it look innocent? What do they call those kind of women?”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore; it didn’t matter if my body still ached. “What woman gives her monthly salary to a man that doesn’t work, so that the man gives her a stipend from her own sweat? Where is it written in the Bible that you should not lift your hands to help? The virtuous woman you keep comparing me to, did she not have help at home and in her estate and vineyard?”

“At least she was a virgin,” he yelled.

“So, my not being a virgin when we married is the cause of all our problems? It is why you have no interest in the children, why you would not help me? Did you not know I wasn’t a virgin before you asked for my hand in marriage?”

“The Pastor said that women who had defiled themselves bring spiritual problems that affect a home.”

“So, why in hell did you marry me, why do you sleep with me, why do we have sex? Why didn’t you listen to your Pastor? I would have been better off. I wouldn’t have had a man that beats me because he is weak. A man that reminds me of how wretched I was when he met me and yet won’t get off his lazy butt to look for a job but listen to sermons day in, day out. A filthy man who thinks self-righteousness takes him a step close to heaven.”

“Why are you shouting at me?”

“Why won’t I shout? Is it for me that I toil and sweat? Is it for love that my body aches every now and then? Eight years and all you think of is virginity…May God damn you to the hottest part of hell!”

“Hilda! How dare you…” He was removing his belt.

“If you touch me, I will shout for everyone to know the beast you are.”

“Shout all you want, it won’t change anything.” He replied advancing towards me. He had forgotten that the door was open. Our two boys were there looking at us frightened. I couldn’t cower this time, I didn’t want the boys to see me cowering like a thief, so, I leapt on the bed and when he tried to drag me down; I gave a violent kick where it would hurt the most and ran out.

I opened the sitting room door leading outside and screamed for help with all my might till the buckle landed on my back.



37 thoughts on “Fused Thoughts – Tales From Two Women II” by enoquin (@enoquin)

  1. I’ve looking for this story all over Ns. Heard Fisayo read the first part on Smooth fm. But pls let us know when It’s ma Lily talking and when its Sola. Nice 1.

    1. @bunmiril if you followed the story from the first episode, you will know sola’s voice from ma lily’s

    2. @bunmiril: Aww! Didn’t know the story was read on radio, shouldn’t @admin have alerted me or something? The dotted lines signifies the entry of either Ma Lily or Shola and you would also know via the people the character interacts with. Thank you for reading

  2. Finally! She speaks out against abuse. Hiding, cowering and protecting the men always fuel that abusive instinct in men.

    I hope part 3 is coming out soon…

    Well done

    1. @topazo But you should know that before a woman cowers, her emotional psyche bar would be close to 0%. It’s why the man can batter as he pleases. Thank you. I appreciate your comment

  3. Nice story.

    I liked the first part. I like the second even more.

    1. Thank you Namdi.

  4. Good one! I like that she is screaming and trying to shout some sense into him…that husband is a douchebag.
    Funny how one is married and the other single, I bet single lady wouldn’t want to be married afterall when she hears Ma lily’s cry for help.
    Nice one, Enoquin. Next!
    Well done.

    1. @sibbylwhyte: But not all men are the same. Shola might get married to a wonderful man. Ma Lily’s husband on the other hand just needs sense bamboozled into him.
      Thanks for reading

  5. @topazo i actually know when Ma Lily and when Sola are talking. But for the sake of those who didn’t read the first part.

  6. Beautiful piece Enoquin. so looking forward to the next part.
    I hardly ever read series but this is beautiful and I am sure to follow

    1. Thank you@osakwe. Hope to make it worth your while.Thank you for reading

  7. Finally she spoke out! A step in the right direction at least.

    Kudos!

    1. @Mimiadebayo: Is it really? It’s one thing to talk and another for the recipient of the communication to not get the message distorted thereby refusing to act on it. Thank you for reading.

  8. Nice!
    i havent read the previous part but this is good.

    Marriages and their issues…nah so.

    1. @Emmanuelpro: Do try and read the first part. Marriage is not all bad na. Thank you for reading

  9. Good work. Very so.

    1. Thank you Hymar

  10. Sad tale, good writing. Giving your fluidity, power of description and catchy dialogues, this tale is just building. I believe there’s much more to come. Didn’t catch part 1, I’ll get to it now. Good work, well done.

    1. Thank you@psalmy. Please do get to read the first part

  11. I wonder why she wouldnt leave the bastard….why stay in such bondage….one day he is going to hit her hard and she will never recover from it….men like this are everywhere..gentle on the outside devillish on the inside….May God help us women from beasts like this…lazy azz weak azz disgusting insecured wife beater

    1. @schatzilein: I don’t think it’s as easy as we think for a Nigerian woman with kids to leave her husband. Moreover, a christian one at that. The society is not kind to divorcees, single older women and other women.
      Yes, such men can be gentle outside and be devilish inside and are usually insecure.

      thank you for reading

      1. But is her dying there better??i mean gone are those dayz we listen to the society or whatever out pastor as to say oh…domestic violence is sending women to thier early grave this dayz even more than cancer….society wont take some of the punches neither will the so called pastor…she has a job why not leave him and take care of herself…Lord help us all

        1. @schatzilein: No, I am not saying she has to die but leaving is not as easy as you think. We can scream at society the way we want but society does not only consist of you and I, it consists of others too.
          She has a job, yes but there are children involved; don’t forget.
          The movies especially Hollywood will show the woman moving into a new apartment. In Nigeria, you would have to pay a year or two years rent plus agent fee and maybe lawyer fees. If you have a low paying job, it might be ideal to wait till you have gotten a lump sum before moving and when the kids are involved especially young ones, the expenses would be more than just housing and basic amenities.

          1. You are right on point there. It is very difficult to break away.

            1. True. I feel it’s only those who have broken away that can proffer solutions. We really do not know how the shoe pinches those in this situation and can only offer advises and opinions@Nalongo

          2. Well u have some valid points there but i think she can still make it if she is truely determined to set herself free kids or no kids..one day the mAn is going to get tired of hitting her and start hitting the kids..what is she going to do then??she should have left at the very first time he hit her..cos if he hit you once,he is going to hit you again…and besides doesnt she have family or his family??me i dont condone violence..if a man hits me he aint going to live to tell the story thats for sure…damn the consequences..

            Thanks for for sharing this

            1. @schatzilein: I wouldn’t want to drag this issue. I agree that a woman should leave once a man gets violent. Notice that, a man can slap his spouse once and realizing his folly not lay hands on her till hie dies.

              Once kids are involved, the decision to leave becomes harder. Remember, it is not ‘unafrican’ for a man to beat his wife especially if he perceives that she is not submissive as she should be. Who is to decide how submissive the woman is?
              Thank God for civilization, education and women empowerment, you might say but how many women are truly empowered in Nigeria? It will be foolhardy for a woman with children to just get up and leave without carefully thinking and working towards leaving.

              Thank you for the healthy argument

              1. You are welcome ma….please post soonest

  12. Doing series is no mean feat… Absolutely love the first instalment…this piece only got ‘heavy’ towards the end…kudos.

    1. @ibagere: No story writing – short, flash, series- is a mean feat. Thank you for reading both installments. What do you mean by ‘heavy’ towards the end?

  13. Nice…I enjoyed this….

    1. Thank you Omoniyi

  14. As usual…captivating is the word.
    Nice

  15. @enoquin
    why am I just seeing this? This is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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