Beats

Beats

The sun a graceful ascent makes,
Across the dark blue of the sky.
Rising, conquering and overtaking.
Its weapons, tendrils of reddish light.
A bride with head held high,
Drinking in the glint of admiration,
That dots the eyes of onlookers.

Brush strokes, paint drops in skillful hands.
Birds flit across the reddish blue.
Weightless and free.
Black dots against light blue canvas.
I yearn for their feathered arms.

High pitched melody rises from hardened beaks.
To an unseen being, or so it seems.
And no, its not just me.
The sounds are palms against my eardrums,
A bata drummer’s skillful thumping.
Inducing, rousing, muscle in writhing,
Moving and dancing.
I want to sing to whom they sing.
My rhythmic steps, a colourful paper,
That wraps my offered gift.



12 thoughts on “Beats” by Olan (@Olan)

  1. I would say the poem would be more appealing if you had edited it. Making your sentences unclustered, thereby driving home your idea in straight line.

    Good message after all. If am right you are drawing a picture of a splendid Wedding ceremony.

    1. Thanks for reading and your critique. Greatly appreciated. @Chime221 comment says what the poem is about.

  2. †ђξ message lies in †ђξ last stanza, thus, †ђξ birds glorify their ‘maker’ and †ђξ persona wants to do same.
    I see nothing wrong with †ђξ poem.
    It’s appealing to me…especially †ђξ imagery it is so garnished with.
    Nice

    1. @Chime221 wow, its so great to know you got the poem, I thought I had over coded it. Lol. I’m glad to know I didn’t. Thanks for reading.

      1. Thanks bro…
        The beauty of poetry lies in it’s ability to multiply meaning. That is meaning a lot of things to lots of people. So that the reading of it is inexhaustible.
        But then, the poet always have †ђξ whole thing in his/her mind.

  3. Picturesque, good job man.

  4. @Olan, I don’t like the way you simply overrode @RonaldBellaz take. Poetry never has one single interpretation and what he opined made good sense to me. I mean his translation. Yhu don’t have to toss it in his face like that.

    Thank yhu. Very much

  5. @Hymar I didn’t toss it in his face, I agree that people draw different meanings from poems. That is one of the beauties of poetry. He was asking about my own opinion on what I wrote. The words he used were “if I am right you are drawing a picture….” its great he got a different meaning, but I was simply letting him know what picture I had in mind when writing it, not dissing his opinion…. Thanks for visiting this page

  6. A beautiful sunrise and a reminder, by the birds, to praise The One who made it so.
    I loved reading this, Olan. Good job, girl :)

  7. @Olaedo thanks! I’m glad you loved it :D

  8. @Olaedo thanks! I’m glad you loved reading it :D

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