“Maybe things aren’t the way she had thought.” Bridget thought to herself as she watched Abigail talked endlessly about her new job, and the other exciting things in her life. She remembered the passion in the way she spoke, the uplifted spirit. She spoke about people she had met and how things have worked so well for her.
Bridget was beginning to think it was definitely over, her obsession over her was finally over.
Abigail had called her few days ago after their first meeting in church to schedule a lunch between the two ladies which Bridget had no choice than to accept. She felt she had no reason not to see her again since her motives, and intentions were not clear.
They decided to go for cloth shopping; in the dressing room where Bridget was trying on a new dress; she was aware of the intense scrutiny of Abigail on her which made her uncomfortable. Just as she took off the dress to get into her own clothes, she heard Abigail’s voice.
“You left me Bridget,” She said in a sad tone. “You left me just like that.”
Her heart sunk, although, she had been expecting this scene for a long time, but since she had been so lively throughout their outing, she gave up on the notion of her ever going back to their past.
“I….” Bridget tried to say something but the right words wouldn’t come.
“How bad did I offend you to leave me just like that, six whole years Bridget?” She continued to say looking straight into her eyes. “I gave you my life, my love, my devotion, I loved you Bridget. I gave you everything but you tore my heart into pieces,” She said as her eyes became moist with tears. “Whatever I ever did to you, I never deserved that treatment.” she looked straight at her with pain in her voice.
Bridget inhaled deeply. She couldn’t understand why she could be so hung up on that; after all, as she said, it’s been six years. Years where they both have grown wisely, years where they both should have come back to their sense and renounce the scandalous life.
“It’s not like that,” Bridget found herself saying. “I never intended to hurt you Abigail.”
“Then, why did you do it? Why did you leave?” She shouted, angrily.
“Please….” Bridget tried to quiet her.
“Don’t hush me Bridget.” Abigail said back at her.
“This is not the right place to talk about this.” Bridget said.
“Then, where is it? After all, you ran away from me and now you are afraid of any confrontation.” Abigail raged at her.
“I am not afraid of any confrontation, I have nothing to fear.” Bridget shouted back; irritated by her tone of voice.
“Oh yea, you have always been scared of what people would say when they find out about us. Isn’t that why you ran away to your pretty unreal life you have here? A pastor’s wife! who are you kidding?” she said smirking.
“Does Mark really know the woman he has by his side to run his ministry, does he?” She asked mocking her. “All you have is a lie; this life you are living is a lie. I know you Bridget, I know every emotion you can ever have and I know you can never love a man as you loved me. I know the way you think, I know every part of your body, every scar, everything.”
Bridget felt she was going to throw up right there, she felt so disgusted by the words coming out of her mouth. “What happened to you Abigail? What do you think? She yelled at her. “That I would continue to live with you for the rest of my life?” Bridget scorned at her, getting angrier by the minute. “I lived a shameful life in the past, and I am not about to go back there.”
“Really!” Abigail jeered at her. “You liar! You enjoyed every moment you spent with me; you were happy, you had everything to live for, and you had me. You have me to laugh with and cry with, you always had a shoulder to cry on, I never cheated on you and make you feel bad about yourself, I gave you everything that a man can never give to you, I gave you freedom.” She shouted at her.
“No, stop it Abigail, stop it! That wasn’t freedom, nothing of what we ever did was freedom; we were both in bondage of sin. I really don’t understand who you are, we are Christian Abigail, we should know better than this.” Bridget said.
Just then, she saw Abigail busted into an uncontrollable laughter.
“Is that what you sold to Mark?” She said laughing. “I guess he believed you enough to have put a ring on your fingers; that you, a Christian?” She continued to laugh at her.
Bridget was upset at her; she realized that no matter what she says to her, it wouldn’t make any differences, so she took her bag and walked out of the room. She was grateful the dressing room was empty so no one was likely to hear all of their conversation.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me.” Abigail shouted after her. “I deserve more than this, you owe me everything.”
Fear of their conversation been heard, Bridget went back to her.
“I don’t owe you anything Abigail, nothing.” She shouted at her. “I am tired of you thinking you did something for me, and I am expected to pay you somehow. No, I do not. Everything that ever happened between us, I totally regret, I wished that I never did those things; I wished I never defied myself the way I did. Don’t you see that? Can’t you understand all these Abigail?” She said soberly t her. “That was not a life to live, and I am not proud of what I did.”
Bridget saw she was lost. Underneath all the pretty face and wealth she had, she was lost. There is nothing difficult like trying to preach the gospel to someone who knows the bible from the beginning to the end, someone who grew up in church. She wanted to make her realize the truth she saw years ago that delivered her from the hands of the enemy.
Bridget went closer to her, held her hands, looking straight into her eyes.
“Listen to me Abigail, remember the word of God in Romans 1 from 26 to 28: ‘For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper.’
“Homosexuality is clearly condemned by the Bible. It goes against the created order of God who created Adam, a man, and then made Eve, a woman. This is what God has ordained as the normal means by which we carry out his command to fill the earth; not the other way around. Homosexuality has a severe judgment administered by God Himself. This judgment is simple: they are given over to their passions. That means that their hearts are allowed to be hardened by their sins. As a result, they can no longer see the error of what they are doing, and then they go and promote it and condemn others who don’t participate in their sin. Can you see what I mean?” She asked, still looking at her. “I need you to understand these things, I did you to come out of it, it is wrong, it is against the will of God for our lives.”
At this, Abigail lowered her eyes from her.
“Alright,” She said. “I am sorry Bridget. I take back everything I said today, I am very sorry.” She spoke with caution. “I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just that, all these years without you has been so miserable for me. The other time when I told you about my job and everything I have achieved, I did lied to you. Yes I have a good job but I have been miserable all these years. After you left things were not the same again, I searched everywhere I could think of but nothing.
Years after, I thought maybe you were right after all, that we were not meant to be together so I tried other relationships with guys but still, no one could be compared to the feelings I had with you. You are the best that ever happened to me Bridget, you were everything I ever had,” By this time, Abigail was in tears. This situation was very familiar, each time, Bridget has one of her regrets in their relationships and wants to leave, then, Abigail would start to cry and tell her how her life would be hell without her.
“We have to move on Abigail,” Bridget started to say. “What we were then, what we did was wrong, it was a sin.” She gently said to her. “I did love you like a sister to sister, like a normal friend but not the way you think. The things we did were abominable to God, they were sins.”
“I know,” Abigail said in tears. “You know very well how I struggled with that, I know Bridget but this is who I am, I love you and there’s nothing wrong in that. I love you with all that I am, is it a crime to love, is it?” She continued to cry.
“But God can deliver you from this; God is able to set you free if you are willing to let him.”
“Please Bridget, don’t send me away. I can’t afford to lose you again. I can’t.” She said in tears. “We can be together again, I know we can.”
Immediately, Bridget withdrew her hands from her.
“No, we can’t.” She said. “I’m not going over there again, I won’t. I am married to the most amazing man and would never sin against him, I will not sin against God.” She said.
“What is sin? How can you call the love we shared a sin?” Abigail asked angrily, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“It is a sin Abigail.” Bridget said back. “You are about to be married, doesn’t that bother you?”
“You of all people should know me. The only reason I am marrying Peter is because my parents are pestering me to get married.” She said.
“But Peter loves you, I know he does. He has been a changed man since he met you; he loves you so much, why can’t you give his love a chance in your life.” Bridget searched her face for answers.
“I am not capable of loving any man.” Abigail retorted.
“Anyone is capable of love if you give the chance.” Bridget said.
“Well, I am not anyone.”
“So what do you want from me?” Bridget asked.
“I want you and you alone.” She said.
“What!” Bridget said in utter confusion.
“I know you are married and I am going to marry Peter but we can still be together; we can still share our love without people raising an eyebrow. Isn’t that what you were always afraid of. You can now have the two Bridget, you can have me.” She said going to hold her.
Bridget looked at her with so much contempt. She wouldn’t understand why Abigail would still insist on this way.
“No one would know Bridget and we can enjoy the rest of our lives together- as sister-in-laws and lovers.”
“God would know.” Bridget said, took her bag and walked out of the store. This time, there was no looking back. There was no use trying to argue her case with her since she was adamant on her decision. She had wanted to tell Mark immediately on Sunday when she saw her but she didn’t want to judge her before knowing are true intent, but since everything is now clear, she has no choice than to let Mark know.