A Cavatina for Mother

A Cavatina for Mother

Para la familia de Jamiu.

From the depths of woman’s desolation,
echoes a scream.
Tears like rain, fall from puffy red-rimmed eyes
through cheek-stream
To drench the ground where you lie, locked in dust
with a dead dream.

Weight borne in a she-tomb filled with life beats,
your gift; silence.
Frail visitor to this man-palace, learnt
evanescence.
Memories of you shall ever be still;
its defiance.

Weep not, another sails to the egg-place
where life flowers.
To drop smiles like bombs upon the future;
yours, mine and ours.
He will come again; I call you patience,
for the lost hours.

Bail out despair from this sinking hope’s boat,
and like Sarah, may faith fill your mind’s moat.

03/09

$ß.



49 thoughts on “A Cavatina for Mother” by Bubbllinna (@sibbylwhyte)

  1. Bravo Sibbyl, and weldone.

    “He will come again; I call you patience,
    for the lost hours.” My favorite lines. We surely will anticipate the second-coming.(stillbirth)

    Weldone.

    1. Yes, you should. The last two lines speak to that anticipation. And of course, all izz well.
      Thanks Baas for the genesis and revelation. Glad you liked it.
      Cheers! $ß.

  2. absolutely beautiful…nothing less is expected from the master…

    1. Ah! @topazo… Master ke? I am just a learner, but I am glad you liked this. Thanks for reading. $ß.

  3. Jo (@josephoguche)

    Indeed, like a well delivered operatic classical, mastered in slow tempo, you have given style to this ode-like piece of literature, in the fashion of Soyinka. Nice one @sibbylwhyte.

    1. @Josephoguche. You compared this to soyinka’s? Wow. That’s an honour, although I haven’t read his poetry before.
      Thanks for your kind words. $ß.

      1. Jo (@josephoguche)

        Welcome bro … You should read some of his poems … I recommend Telephone Conversation. @sibbylwhyte

        1. @josephoguche. Thanks. Will get round to that ASAP.

          1. Jo (@josephoguche)

            Enjoy it …

  4. Someone beat me to the Soyinka comparision. Well, Sibbyl, I am going to be rereading these lines. You did Well….good actually.

    1. Et tu, @Hymar? Wow. Thanks. I am glad that you liked it enough to say you would reread. Thanks for reading. $ß.

  5. You had me with the title itself. And then I read on.
    Beautiful work Sibbyl.
    Simply beautiful.

    1. Lol @olajumoke. Thanks a lot for checking the poem out, and for your nice comment. Appreciate. $ß.

  6. Beautiful I must say.
    Kudos, Sib.

    1. Thanks for reading, @mimiadebayo. I appreciate. $ß.

  7. This Poem is a message of hope to all who have either miscarried, stillbirthed or lost children. Indeed Faith working with patience and a little dose of hope added can see them through till………….

    1. Exactly @hymar. That is the message and prayer within. Thanks for rereading… I appreciate your time. $ß.

  8. @ Sibbylwhyte, this is deep, professional writer, keep it up sis.

  9. @blackgold. Thanks a lot for reading and commenting. I appreciate.

  10. This is very deep, Bubbllinna. This reminds me of a friend of mine who lost her baby last month, hours after she had given birth to him. Her husband hid it from her for a week. In her ignorance, she sent messages to friends telling of the ‘safe delivery’ of a bouncing baby boy.

    Imagine her hurt when she found out.

    Women suffer. This poem captures one aspect of these sufferings; one that men also share when caught in the web.

    Keep improving your art. Well done.

    1. That’s a sad thing. God would put a smile on her face very soon.
      Thanks for reading and commenting @chemokopi, I appreciate. $ß.

  11. * I like your word choices for the title. It certainly adds a lot of meaning to the poem, and doesn’t just repeat something in the poem. However, from the title, I had some difficulty.
    First, the strange word in the title niggled at me, and I didn’t read the poem until I found out that ‘Cavatina’ meant an operatic solo or a songlike instrumental piece, which is apparently what you call the style of the poem.
    (New word learnt, thank you!)And after reading the poem, it was my understanding that it was a poem of encouragement to a woman who had just lost a baby. And, since it was titled “….for Mother”, I felt that the poem was supposed in the voice of a child of the woman(I don’t think anyone else would call a woman “Mother”) until that understanding was disturbed when I encountered the line of the poem that says “yours, mine and ours”. In childbearing, such a phrase would only be spoken between a husband and a wife. So, it was, at that point, as though, the words were being said by the husband. Hence, a confusion of who was speaking. Child or husband?

    * Then, I was slightly put off by the first line as it was in a foreign language? I didn’t understand the essence of that line being in Spanish while this is an English poem. Maybe to show us more about the family? A Spanish family?

    * I enjoyed the way you incorporated rhyme into the poem. I would say it didn’t seem forced and wasn’t obtrusive but in all honestly, I didn’t understand the use of the words that constituted the rhymes in verse 2. Maybe you could explain to this beginner-at-poetry?

    * In the 3rd verse though, I really loved the imagery and meaning packed into that first line! That is probably the line that shone out to me the most in the poem. I saw great use of imagery, though, I also saw that a cliché slipped in: “red-rimmed eyes”. Maybe another expression could be used to describe that?

    *Still speaking on literary devices, I enjoyed your insightful use of allusion in the last line. The allusion to Sarah helps in revealing more of the subject of the poem(which I must thank you for. Beginners-to-poetry like me rely on things like that).
    Then, based on the arrangement of the poem, I feel there could have better rhythm if the punctuation was used differently. I found the punctuation style to be interfering with rhythm.

    * I could say more, but I’m afraid I’ve written a comment worthy in length, of being a post of its own. So, in closing, let me give my understanding of the poem.
    “A Cavatina for Mother” is a poem that speaks of the death of a child, and the mother’s anguish even as she is being comforted and encouraged. It is built on the themes of death, loss of a child, childbearing, and hope.
    I felt sadness as I read this poem, imagining the pain of mothers who lose their babies to death and how inconsolable they usually are at the beginning.
    Most of all, I feel excited to have eaten, chewed and digested this poem and been nourished enough to produce my first loooong critique!
    Bravo, Sib!

  12. Me likey, a lot.

    1. I am quite glad you do, @shadiat. Thanks a lot.

  13. @sibbylwhyte, this is deep and equally good!
    It is emotionally alerting too, a retrospective nostalgia for me. Wondering what my mama must have felt about those two ‘kids’ that did not stay long enough for me, to share ‘our’ world together.
    Weldone, ma’am.

    1. @babalolaibisola… Your comment got cut off too. Mama would have felt really low, but the thought of you and your siblings gave her the strength to carry on. She still thinks of them once in a while.
      I am glad you read this, and it evoked something in you.
      Thanks for checking. Cheers!

      1. yea, the thought of my siblings and I did gives her strength to carry on. I am especially a ‘thing’ of joy to her. many times she wished they were there too, and it’s my guess that that is what being a real mother is truly about – motherHood!

        1. I have been working on something like this as part of my life projects; understanding the ‘Pains of Motherhood’. This your piece has given me strength, hopefully I can keep it on . . . @sibbylwhyte, thank you very much!

          1. @Babalolaibisola… I am glad that I could help…let me know if you need my help with that. Cheers!

            1. Sure thing, thank you for offering. Cheers!

  14. The foreign language was to shroud the line, it was done on purpose. However, trying to deduce whether I wrote for an english or spanish family is off cos this poem is for every woman.
    The poem is a syllabic poem(every line has an exact number), there’s a reason why every word there is used. Red-rimmed may be a cliche, but then it conveys what I want in exact numbers.
    Punctuations disrupted the rhythm? How so? I wish you could be able to tell me how. I wrote this for someone’s mum and used ‘yours, mine and ours’ because every child is a blessing to the society, it doesn’t belong to just family, that’s why I used all the pronouns. Oh, and I call her mother too.
    As for explaining stanza two to you, here are a few hints; she-tomb means womb, man-palace means earth, evanescense means process of disappearing. When a person dies, memories can’t be created, hence it is still, and this stillness is death’s defiance. You can now work out the rest.
    I am glad you liked it enough to pratice your critiquing skills on it. Thanks for reading and commenting, @queennobo. I appreciate. $ß.

    1. Shit! It has happened again – that cut-off comment thingy. I sent the full message to you.

  15. Really like this comment. You nailed it.

    Weldone @sibbylwhyte
    And thanks @queenobo for dropping by.

  16. Tuche`
    Touching!

    1. Thanks @chime221 for dropping by. I appreciate.

      @basittjamiu… Thanks.

  17. Nice memoir, now the long wait for the return.

    Don’t give up on your faith.

    1. @elovepoetry. Yes, a memoir for all mothers who have been hurt by death snatching the little one in vivo.
      Thanks for reading, E. Appreciate.

  18. @sibbylwhyte, now ‘our mothers’ will continue to find solace in this very believe, that ‘us’ out here feel and appreciate their sacrifice of love, always.
    Weldone great scribe, SB!

    1. @expo. We do, and I really hope they realize that. Thanks for dropping by. Grateful.

  19. This is well written, message rings out loud.

    1. @vincentdepaul. It does right? Thanks a lot for reading.

  20. Take this piece, freeze it in a time capsule and display it. If anyone comes to you asks “What is Poetry?” Show them this piece and keep quiet. The answer is there.
    :)

    1. Ah! You honour me with such words, @kelwriter. Your comment made me smile much. In my silence, the poem would speak volumes huh? Lol. I appreciate your kind words.

    2. I agree with you o

  21. You know, hope is death`s worst enemy, and you nailed it! I`m just mighty proud of you…this is truely great poetry, thank you m`am!

    1. Wow! I am thoroughly delighted by your comment, @irenecarewbako. Thanks for reading. Graçias.

    2. @sylvia. Thank you very much, lady. You sure will be better. I appreciate the kind words.

  22. this is very professional. when I grow up I want to be like you…seriously

    this was also very touching. Go girl!

  23. making a bow
    this is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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