The woman clad in white kept repeating incantations in praise to ‘Jah Jehovah Holy’ while my mother repeated ‘Amin’ to everything the woman said. The anger inside me doubled and could even roast plantain for bole consumption. This is by far the most despicable thing my mother has done. She annoys me every time she gets the opportunity to do so but definitely, this was the most despicable of it all. Myself and my mum knelt , head bowed, before the woman in white who was sweating so much that when she shook to show the intensity of her prayers, the sweat splashed on me. My anger this time could roast corn and yam.

‘Efe there is a problem’, the woman in white said interrupting my thoughts. My mother looked at her in shock and turned to me briefly before looking back at her. ‘My lord, there is nothing you can’t do for us. I brought my daughter here because I know she needs your prayers.’

‘What??? I do not need prayers! At least not from here!’ my mother spat fire from her eyes and bowed her head again to show the woman her humility…or something like that.

‘You see? I told you her negatif energy is sapping the glory from the prayers! You need positif power here! Efe you must go! She does not belif in me!’

‘ I beg you please!’ my mother laid down flat for the woman and tugged at her feet and immediately, the biblical picture of the woman with the issue of blood came to my mind. I got up and dusted my knees before walking out of the stuffy room. I was so furious! My mother is smoldering and annoying. What better combination could there be? I hurriedly walked out of the bushy track to the road side I had parked my Toyota Camri 2010 series and waited for my mother for good 45 minutes. When she finally got into the car, i glanced at her and noticed her bloodshot eyes. I sped off without a word.

After an hour of driving silently, I decided to cut the tension with a fight. ‘How could you do that mummy? How could you take me to a prayer house when we both know you are a prayer warrior? I can’t believe that you tricked me in to going to a woman like that when you said I should drive you to Aunty Dupe’s! A woman that replaces ‘v’ for ‘f’? Mummy I am so disappointed in you.’ She said nothing for a while and despite my anger I felt sorry for her.

‘I knew you will not want to come with me. See ehn, all my friends children are married! You are turning 30 next month and you don’t even talk about men. Dupe took her daughter to this woman and the following month, her daughter was married’. Tears stung my eyes but I refused to shed them because I knew she will see how badly her words hit me.The worst thing to show my mother is weakness.

‘ I am not God. He is the one that knows what is best for me and what-‘

‘Oh shut up Osareme! You think I don’t know about all that!’ Her flare of emotions had surprised me and must have stunned her because the expression on her face showed she did not mean to shout at me.’ Listen to me; I am your mother. I love you and I want the best for you. You and I may not have the best of relationships but I know what is good for you. You have a great job, a car but now you need a man to look after you. Which man will want to be with a woman who has everything? Or you resign from your job and…’

Believe me, I heard nothing else she said because i zoned out of her nagging. She feels she knows it all but she truly doesn’t. I consciously pulled to a stop by the road side and turned to her while she kept talking. ‘Get out mum’.


‘Get out. i don’t care if you trek home from here but i just need you to get out right now cos i can’t keep up with you nag. You tricked me into going to a prayer house with you and you still nag me. Please just go’

she wept silently a bit and opened the door but left her parting words. ‘ No wonder no man can be with you. I curse the day i gave birth to you. You are so unforgiving and heartless. You are so-‘

‘ Please just go. i curse the day i was born by you and the day you made me this hardened.’ With that, i sped off to Shoprite to get a bottle of Jack Daniels and some groceries. The alcohol served as a perfect match to my tears because all I can remember after the fight is…absolutely nothing.

12 thoughts on “Numb” by skyhigh (@skyhigh)

  1. Daireen (@daireenonline)

    Watch out for errors sir. This story would benefit from editing. By the way, it’s Camry, not Camri.

    By the way, the storyline has too many holes, please be consistent in your narration.

  2. Daireen has said his own, which I agree with. On a different note, I am hoping that there is something fresh to be seen in this; if not, tighten your writing to make up.
    Keep writing. Well done, sky. $ß.

  3. I love the opening sentence so much….but never enjoyed the rest of the story….the anger I felt as I saw some spellings could roast you alive….lol dnk mind me….cool concept anyways

  4. Looking frm the positive side, it’s kul…

  5. While I agree with the comments above, I’d stick more with Bubblina’s. tighten the story line and the writing.
    Keep writing dear.

  6. @skyhigh, I somewhat enjoyed this bar some of the issues mentioned above: You will only get better as you write. Practice,practice!! More power to you. Looking forward to an improved next installment.

  7. They have said it all….noting to add again….

  8. I think I done read sth like this before…well, what can I say that hasn’t already been said before? Good try tho.

  9. Kicked her own mum off the car?? Whoow… I guess the poor pliable woman had a point about her daughter’s attitude issues after all.

    I didn’t really see the ”numbness” though. Anger, frustration, strained mother-daughter ties, even a nice dash of religious hoodwinking :) . But no numbness.

  10. I feel like the others, especially @daireenonline.

  11. The narrative was everywhere…some scenes not believable…some emotions far fetched…like the others have said, tighten up your plot.

    Pay attention to grammar, avoid inconsistent tenses, typos…

    Well done

  12. i really want to thank you all for the contributions and criticisms. i feel so motivated. i will definitely take everything y’all have said seriously. Jah bless

Leave a Reply