Caught Blue Handed

Caught Blue Handed

This all started last month; one minute I was studying for my further mathematics test and the next I was teleported into her world. My mornings usually start in a rush because I often wake up late. I rush and stumble through my routine like a deranged driver in Lagos traffic, but that fateful morning I had too much time. The further mathematics teacher was going to give us the mother of all tests, with a twist – anyone who scored less than average would be canned. That man isn’t one to make empty threats and he’s one of the few teachers with the ability to render your buttocks numb for the whole day. So here I was at 5:30am, after two hours of studying like a possessed geek, I stood up to stretch my legs and just outside my window was the best thing to happen to me in months… nay, years.

*

Ours is the grandest and most beautiful house on the street, a duplex which housed three sitting rooms and five bedrooms, each with its separate bathroom, and a gym. The gentrification drive of the government had not caught up with this part of town making me some sort of Richie-Rich in the neighbourhood. Everything I did was different, for example, while most of the kids on the street walk to the nearby Government Secondary School, my driver takes me to school in the mornings in a black Toyota Camry. I had an habit of staring out of the window at the other kids as they walked by, without actually seeing them. They all looked the same to me, the boys in their white tops and shorts and the girls in their pinafores, none of them required a second look… boy, how wrong I was…

*

I put the blame on those pinafores because that morning, right outside my window was one of those ‘faceless’ girls – Modupe (I know her name now), taking her bath in the courtyard that doubled as their bathroom. I stood motionless as I admired in her what I had been praying to God for ages to give my girlfriend. Kike is a cool girl, smart and witty as hell but she has breasts the size of an Agbalumo and they hardly fill my hands when we make out, but here was someone her age (I suppose) with breasts I could die for. I watched in awe as she finished the morning ritual, a scene that was played on a loop by my mind throughout the day. I got canned after the test but if that was the price to pay for my discovery, it was more than worth it.

You see, during the last holidays my mum had stopped my internet subscription after she walked in on Cathleen in all her glory. That act ended a relationship I had nurtured for about six months, so trust me, I needed Yetunde. I think it’s appropriate to say I never looked at those pinafores the same way again.

*

Now, every morning I wake up at 5:00am, because I can’t leave anything to chance, position my chair beside the window, switch off the lights, lock the door, grab a bottle of bathing oil and wait for Yetunde to work her magic.

This morning was the same, I’d gone through my preparations with practiced accuracy and like clockwork she was present at 5:30 sharp. I rolled down my boxers and was about to start the business of the day when… Wham! I felt a sharp pain on the back of my neck – this must be a dream. I craned my neck upwards and staring down at me was my mom with her most menacing look – it was the same look she had when she discovered Cathleen.



21 thoughts on “Caught Blue Handed” by Dona Bona (@ifemmanuel)

  1. Daireen (@daireenonline)

    Good work.

    You said the girl’s name was Modupe at first, then you renamed her Yetunde. Which one is it? Second, it’s ‘caned’ not ‘canned’ the latter would suggest you were put in a can. Then there’s that description of the F.Math teacher, please rework that part of the story.

    All in all, kudos. You’ve got talent. Keep honing it.

    Cheers.

    1. (Facepalm) i decided on a last minute name change and got sloppy, thanks for pointing it out.

      I’ll try do work on the teacher part too. Many thanks.

  2. I would like to think that if a normal-thinking girl bathes outside, the security light would be off or she would stay away from any light source. If she did, how then was your MC able to make out her form in the dim light of early mornings, so clearly that he could actually wank?

    His mum should smear pepper on his little man. Nonsense!
    Well done, D Bona. $ß.

    1. Hmmm, I don’t have an explanation for the lightning, it’s a plot hole i was blind to while writing. I’ll try to avoid it in future. Thanks.

  3. You wrote this in fastforward obviously. Witches for your village dey pursue you or wetin?

    On a more serious note, I think u should settle down, roll the story over and over in your head first before your pen kisses the paper. You fit do am na………….

    Next Time

  4. ….boring start…nice end…well done sir….ermm I would have chosen “flogged” instead of “caned” sha…

  5. Worth a try,sha. Welldone.

  6. Lovely but sloppy.. Keep on writing.. There’s more than enough room for improvement.

  7. It’s a good piece… Noted errors already pointed out…but some parts aint actually relevant tho’…the piece would be more interesting if made shorter… Overall…nice try!

    Keep thinking and writing! Welldone!

  8. poor start. see this:

    ‘i looked up and was staring into the eyes of my mom, her eyes narrowed and flashing with anger, and i wondered how it all went wrong’

    then there were tense mixups too..

    nice story.

    welldone

  9. It’s fine work.
    Ditto all the previous corrections. Work on ’em.
    D name thin especially got me confused
    And I think u cld av givn us a hint as to why its ‘blue’ and not ‘red” handed. Makes us feel part of d story.
    All in all, it’s fine work.

  10. slightly confusing

  11. good for you to be caught blue handed. love the story jare, more of that and am sure the third time will be more trouble for your troubled soul… lol

  12. You are going to get canned for this!!!!
    Keep writing, patience is key.

  13. Eewww, i cn imagine d shock n dn d embarasment

  14. Lolz, I got the message anyways. you mum must be a CIA

  15. This is good. The read is smooth. The technicality and reality of the story has been thrashed by my ogas in earlier comments.

    Keep writing

    *KG*

  16. Jo (@josephoguche)

    Nice interesting piece …

  17. you got started welll…. nice work though

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