Two Bastards And A Lady

You never told anyone you were a bastard. It was easier that way. It gave critics less amunition and allowed friends envy you completely. When you refused to touch Nailia before the wedding she worried that you weren’t virile. You laughed long, loud and hard.

“That should be the least of your worries girl”

She sipped at her Amarula on the rocks, looking fabulous in a mint green dress. You looked away. Rules were rules.

“Then prove it Tenge, prove you are a man. You aren’t even religious and besides I am on the pill.”

That bothered you. Why would she be on the pill when you had never given her more than a peck on the forehead?

“What sort of pills? Are you crazy? How can you be on contraceptives when we aren’t even married?”

She shrugged dropping her half empty glass. “I thought since we had fixed dates you would be more forthcoming. I didnt want to be throwing up during my honeymoon. Simple prevention.”

Somehow you didn’t believe her. When Brian came a two months early you asked for paternity tests. A tip to the nanny and the samples were taken by a nurse from the affiliate clinic and sent to South Africa. You couldn’t bear the torment so you told her.

Nalia erupted like a whistling kettle. “How dare you do that to our son? My son?” A manicure set missed your face by inches and crashed into the wall. Its contents scattering in a thousand directions just like the pieces of your life. “I am leaving! Leaving! I can’t live here with you and your sneaky ways . Goodbye T”

You watched her pack her things, sobbing and cursing all the while. When the taxi came you wanted to help with some of the luggage but you thought better of it.

That was two months ago, yesterday the test results came in. You knew even before you ripped the envelope open. The boy wasn’t yours. This morning when all the Happy Fathers Day messages started coming you switched off your phone with a groan. Then it hit you. Why let the innocent boy suffer like you had? It wasn’t his fault that he probably wouldn’t know his real dad.

Nalia picked after the third try. You told her to come home that things would be alright. She listened without a sound. Then she said
“Maybe . T, I don’t know.”
You dropped the phone feeing much better. Sometimes Life serves tomatoes and you have to make tomatoe sauce.



58 thoughts on “Two Bastards And A Lady” by Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

  1. This was a nice short read,Sunshine.Nailia didn’t try sha…
    Noticed a teeny-weeny typo. “feeing” should be “feeling”.

    1. @Mimiadebayo Thank you for your eagle eyed correction. And for reading and dropping a comment. No mind the babe, she dey do super sharp, meanwhile…

  2. Nice short story. Second to the last word is a Dan Qualye-esk typo.

    1. Lol, @AlabaOk I quite agree, thank you for reading.

  3. A very short story that yet feels so complete. As I have come to expect from you, a very good read. Welldone @sunshine.

    1. Thank you@Olajumoke I have come to look forward to your warm and soothing words…

  4. This was very nice and refreshingly short. :)

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Thank you @Yeniee , you made my evening!

  5. @sunshine…i like this story. It has a contemporary feel, characters that are entirely believable especially Tenge. I also loved the way you ended it…no contrived happy endings…just life as it is. The finall phrase is also impressive. You did good here…real good…

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Wow, @ayomitans THANK YOU!

  6. This is an interesting read, well done.

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      I am so glad you like it @isaac82 , Thank you.

  7. Short and sharp…lime and lemonade-like…good.

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      @ibagere you know just what to say to get a sister blushing. Thank you so much.

  8. i like this….very much

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Aww @Tooazo , Thank you!

  9. This is a beautiful flash, nicole. You wrote it right. Well done. $ß.
    Check: …a two months early… didn’t quite read nice to me.

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Thank you @sibbylwhyte I’ll attend yo that.

  10. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

    RME, *to that. Gracias.

  11. Lovely! Refreshing, simple language. I felt though that the phrase ‘life serves tomatoes…’ isn’t exactly apt as it seems to interpret this way: ” Life gives you raw materials and you must refine to something useful’, referring to something like talent. Something like ‘life serves sh*t and you must grow flowers with the manure” perhaps?

    1. Hmm @wendeekay or throws you rocks and you have to use them to build a brick house… Great contribution. I thought along the Sh*t lines but since he was taking it rather well I went milder. I also avoid using four lettered words. But yeah, thanks, you have a good point there.

  12. This was well written, @Nicolebassey. I like that the story didn’t have a predictable ending.

    However, it felt as if bits were missing for me. Maybe there was too much in here for a simple flash story to do justice to. Or maybe it would have worked better if you had started the story from the scene where Nailia leaves the MC. Then I wouldn’t be wondering about their history together.

    Well done.

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Hmm lots to think on @TolaO . Thank you for reading. Flash fiction leaves much to the readers imagination sometimes, e.g. For sale: new shoes, never worn. Thank you.

  13. Lovely! I like it’s forthright simplicity. Personally, I feel the phrase ‘life (gives) tomatoes…’ Interprets more like ‘you get somethings unrefined in life & you have to process em to profit’ and that does not do justice to what you may have intended by that phrase. For instance, I feel this might be sort of apt – ‘life serves you sh*t, and you have to grow your flowers’. Hope I made sense :D
    Still, this is grade A!

  14. A really intresting piece.Loved dat d story dint have a predictable ending.Hmmmmmm,dats all i can say 4 now.Well done.

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Wow @Jade69 Thank you! I am so glad you like it.

  15. Beautiful story

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      @Borry Thank you! I am glad you like it.

  16. Skilfully crafted. I like your style.

  17. Great read, Nicole. The style is different from stuff i have read here. Well done!!!

  18. @nicolebassey, I’m not really sure, something tells me I should like it but something else tells me not to.

    It’s a nice warm story but there are so many things not quite right, I think someone already said it feels as if something is missing. Like, why will he say that’s the least of your worries? Why will he readily accept someone else’s baby? Who says the baby will not know it’s father, every woman knows the father of her child or at least has an idea. Why will he feel better after the call, all she said was she doesn’t know she wasn’t even remorseful after she cheated on her husband.

    So these are the things I don’t really get.

    Also there were a few typos, like;

    “I thought since we had fixed dates you would be more forthcoming. I didnt want to be throwing up during my honeymoon. Simple prevention.” – “fixed dates”, shouldn’t that be fixed the date, only if you are talking about the whole marriage process, so traditional, engagement party etc

    When Brian came a two months early you asked for paternity tests – There shouldn’t be an “a” in that sentence and it is paternity test not tests

    A tip to the nanny and the samples were taken by a nurse from the affiliate clinic and sent to South Africa – This sentence I don’t get; why did he go to the nanny for a nurse to take a sample and why send it to South Africa?

    So these are the reasons why I’m torn but I think overall I like it. Nice story. Keep it up

    1. @dnky111 Thank you for your comments.

      The least of your worries meant he was not virile, he was abstaining because he didn’t was to get any woman pregnant without marrying her, as his father had done.

      He wants to accept someone else’s baby because he has been through the pain of illegitimacy and it wasn’t pretty. Empathy.

      Said probably wouldn’t– that gives room for probably would. If the boy’s father had been so readily known maybe Nalia wouldn’t need the elaborate ruse.

      He felt better because he had made an effort and it felt better than staying home dodging Happy Fathets Day messages.

      Fixed dates is not a typo. In Nigeria a couple marries thrice: Traditional,wedding and court.

      a was a mistake, i missed it even after proofreading thrice.

      Nanny was tipped to keep quiet. Some nannies talk

      The clinic he used sends samples to SA. Many paternity tests are sent overseas for complete analysis. even test tuge babies have bits taken out of them and sent abroad for analysis. Sad but true reflaction on Nigerian healthcare standards.Hope I have been helpful.

      1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

        and paternity tests mean there are several. First a comparing blood groups and genotypes then more technical things.

        1. @nicolebassey thanks for the explanation, now I know for sure that I definitely like it :)

  19. I am sorry i did not have to finish the story before i knew it was ‘sweet’……. You got me confused but quickly brot me back on track…… Nice one…

  20. glow (@anyieinstein)

    Hmmmm. Ladies… Guess Nalia was not sharp enough… Now a bastard fathers a bastard. Good ha decided to cater for the innocent child. Nice write up

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Lies always show–somehow, thank you for reading @anyieinstein

  21. Lady? Where’s the lady in the story? :-) Nice tale. Raise another man’s child under those circumstances? Tenge’s a better man than me.

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Na wa oh my brother, not a ladylike lady at all. Sure? sometimes we dont know how much sacrifice we are capable of… Thank you @obinwanne , for your time and thoughts.

  22. Nice but short.
    I enjoyed reading.

  23. I really enjoyed reading this master piece.

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Aww @joy1 I am so glad you did, thank you!

  24. Short and complete- those are not very popular qualities. The title was very catchy too. Well written.

  25. very, very nice, short and punchy… the type of stories i love

  26. A good read that can even be better. I feel some of the sentences would work better if broken. And some punctuations are missing. Let’s see:

    “That should be the least of your worries girl(,)” [Who’s talking? Shouldn’t there be something like ‘he said to himself.’?

    That was two months ago(.) The test results came in yesterday. You knew even before you ripped the envelope open(:) The boy wasn’t yours. This morning(,) when all the Happy Fathers(‘) Day messages started coming (in,) you switched off your phone with a groan. Then it hit you. Why let the innocent boy suffer like you had?

    I have just picked out random parts of the story.

    Again, it’s a good read, I like the 3rd person, but it can be very better.

    Well done.

  27. A very good read. I like the brevity and the plot. You did okay with the 2nd person narrative, but I think there’s something not quite right about it. I cannot figure it out now, but when I do, I’ll let you know. There’s also @dkny111‘s observation. A writer should show life as it is and as it should be; the issues of trust, and deceit and remorse (on Nalia’s part) are serious, and you did not address it.

  28. mendel martha (@ihenyengladysusile)

    well,i had to read through for the second time,because i was a bit confused,because we had to figure it out by ourselves some statements which were made ,whether he[tenge] was saying them to someone else or speaking to himself,and you didn’t imply

  29. kevin (@kevindkind)

    I Couldn’t really distinguish the characters. But it warth a few stars any way. U can do better

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Yeah we all can. Thanks for reading.

  30. This is nice……………

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