Breaking up is never easy and people react in different ways. Some turn to drinking others turn to drugs.
I wrote a note, please pass it on.
I am tired of trying to make this relationship work. In the last couple of months I have given this relationship my best. I was going to introduce you to my parents, and seek their blessing to take our relationship to the next level but alas, that plan must change because I now see you for who you truly are. Your warm embrace has become very cold. Your smile has become a deafening smirk and without a warning my life changed. Now I know that the love you professed was just to steal my joy away.
You made the idea of becoming a ‘bad boy’ look so attractive, you even pointed me to a few role models. Some were tagged gangsters others fell to the category of celebrities, but they all had one thing in common- they were headed for hell and even with that you never informed me. You encouraged me to get high on cheap beer and spirits which never failed to take me to cloud nine. Now I am confused because my beautiful dreams have been replaced by the night mares in which I am the major character. Sometimes, I wake up screaming and I feel so lost and confused all because of you.
The other day, I went to bed with the strange woman you introduced to me. We spent the night exploring various positions, after the missionary journey, we went sixty-nine (69), barrel, doggy, elephant, scissors and many other positions that didn’t even have names. I guess the energy came from the drugs you had prescribed, the ones I so naively took. Come the following day, I woke up to realise the damsel’s name was frustration and I had entered into her cave unprotected. Our illicit affair continued because frustration refused to let me go, it was a case of pleasurable pain, I was held captive. You were never there whenever I needed you and so I continuously turned to the booze and poison stick.
These days I’m good at avoiding events and places. I don’t want to blame you for what has become of my life but I realise that you led me to this point in my life. A point where I look back and realise I had been living a mediocre life, others had made new and major achievements worth boasting about yet I had none to equally put up. You had set me up with confusion and frustration and then distracted me from seeing joy and success. With this union, I had become your best painting, like Michael Angelo; you took pride in calling me your Mona Lisa.
These days, nobody wants to associate with me and I don’t blame them. I won’t associate with me either. Confusion has a terrible stench, an odour not comparable to that of frustration and failure, but you made them my constant and only companion. I ran from those who loved me and remained in the solitude of your presence. The thought of killing myself had become louder in my head and just like confusion, frustration and mediocrity, the thought gave that same feeling of pleasurable pain. My way out was drug overdose and right before I went through with the plan, I met your nemesis.
He was dressed in a white robe, His face shone and he told me he was a prince, the prince of peace. I don’t think he was lying because in his presence I felt so much peace. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t know what confusion, frustration and mediocrity smelt like, they had become strangers, gone for good and so were you. The prince told me that you are a master manipulator, a high profile fraudster and a cold-blooded murderer. He told me that I was made for much more than I was experiencing.
Lucifer, break ups are never easy but I have to go. Our relationship has caused me so much pain and heartache; it’s not easy for me to turn my back on the green bottle and the weed. It’s not easy for me to turn my back on the scumptous arsenal or the delightful bakassi of the ladies but I would try. You promised me many things, never did you deliver on them and for the things I got from you, you took even far more from me and with that I no longer remain indebted to you in anyway.
Please don’t take this the wrong way; this break-up is not about you but about me. I am sure there is someone out there that was made for you and I know that I am not the one.
P.S: I have sent your stuff via FedEX; you don’t have to come to my place for any reason.