Water Palava (2)

Please read the first part to follow the story.

Na Fela take am sing say:
Omi Olota o
Water e nor get enemy

But some people think say na Indian hemp dey inspire that man to sing the kind of song wey he sing. But I believe say na just raw talent wey Indian hemp enhance na im make Fela be the Abami Eda, Afro beat King. That one na my own opinion o. If you like gree, if you like, no gree, na you sabi.

Anyway, even though Fela don die, this him song talk true. E talk true no be small. Some people wey use water take do bad, e dey back fire, like Oyinbo man go talk. Na through Papa blessing this song confirm am.

Papa Blessing tie him big towel for waist one morning with chewing stick for mouth make he go draw water from him well o. NEPA nor gree bring light for almost two days and no be say im Generator don break down o. He nor wan just pump water make people no come sneak fetch water for him house. You dey see how man wicked reach?

So he say make e go use fetcher draw water from the well. As he don tey wey dem use the fetcher, dem no know where dem troway am put. Whether na one of him children hide am o, na only God know.

For the original oyinbo bible, Papa God talk say evil shall slay the wicked. But for area, we always talk say na wickedness go kill wickedness.

Na so the man go look for one long bamboo stick opposite him house, for where dem dey build house. E be like say for night small rain fall so the bamboo stick dey wet.How we no take know say that small rain fall for our house no body fit talk.

Because on a normal day, whether na 1am or 4am, if rain dey fall, man pikin go wake up by force to fetch. But e be like say e nor heavy if not, we for hear am.

Na so Papa Blessing tack him bucket for the end of the bamboo stick, come deep am inside the well.
As e put am inside, e nor know say the stick don dey touch high tension wire for up. Na so NEPA just bring light…LOBATAN!

If you see wetin light do a whole old soldier man ehn, you go use laugh take cry. Although some people do the two together, while some people, out of pity come dey wonder whether make them laugh or make them cry. When people wey nor dey there when the thing happen hear the tori, they begin dey roll for ground with plenty laugh. Electric no get respect for people at all o.

The thing begin dey shake am like paper. Papa Blessing don gum for there come, begin dey shout.
Help, help, help…

The thing be like cartoon for people eyes. You know say cartoon characters nor dey die. If dem touch electric by mistake or mischief, the hair for their head go stand. Na so Papa Blessing bea-bea and Old school hair wey e nor gree barber after he leave active service, just stand gidigba!

Before we know wetin dey happen, the thing just fling a whole full man troway like that.The towel wey e tie for him waist just loose. Wetin man pikin see, nor be wetin man pikin go use mouth talk. Na our elders talk say the thing wey crayfish see wey make am bend, na only him fit use him mouth tell us.
People don try to tell us say na condition make crayfish bend, but until crayfish use him mouth tell us, we go dey believe say na condition cause him am.

My people, to tell una how the matter take strong reach, Papa Blessing John Thomas just Tanda like Zuma rock for ground wey him dey! No towel, nothing! All the women just run enter house. Me self come dey fear. How person wey electric shock go experience this kind thing. Na men come rescue Papa Blessing o. Dem use wrapper take cover am quick quick make man no see talk talk.

All of them na from our house. The same people wey e nor gree allow enter him compound come fetch water. Una see how life be?

Instead make the man cool down make dem help am, he con dey shout milk, milk, milk… His voice don go,but he see voice take shout “MILK!”

Na three whole Peak milk Papa Blessing drink that morning before e get himself.
From that day no body for Sekina street dey use water take do Shakara again.Because dem come know say some thing pass dem.

You sef wey dey read this tori, no use water do bad o.Na beg I dey beg you. Your own fit worse pass Papa Blessing own. Na person wey get ear dey ear word o. Use your own take hear. Tori don finish.



29 thoughts on “Water Palava (2)” by sambright (@sambrightomo)

  1. Hilarious to say the least.

    1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

      thanks for reading bro @Injoman.God bless.

  2. I laugh sotee I dey gather my lungs sef. *contorts face.* e no suppose end oh!

    1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

      hahahaha @francis me wey write i dey roll for ground.I didnt expect it to have such effect.But thank you for reading.

      1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

        But stories must come to an end now.Abi? No worry, something is cooking…no just use water take do bad make ur matter nor worse pass papa Blessing gbege o.

  3. Lol @sambrightomo…..what does ‘Lobatan’ mean??

    Will there be another one??

    1. @Zikora

      ‘Lobatan’ is a yoruba expression that has made it’s way into contemporary language. Word-for-word, it simply means – ‘and then it ended’.

      In it’s popular use, it could mean ‘it’s over’. Or ‘end of story’ or similar things.

      You dig?

      1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

        @Seun-Odukoya thank you for explaining ‘Lobatan’. @Zikora I hope you understand.The word is used to achieve artistic effect in a discourse.As @Seun-Odukoya has rightly pointed out,it is a yoruba word that finds expression in our attempt to add ‘glow’ to our speech act.As par another tori,just wait u will see it.

        1. Thanks @sambrightomo…..me gat it!

      2. @Seun-Odukoya……yes me dig! Thank you.

  4. @sambrightomo

    Do I really need to say anything?

    1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

      please my Oga @Seun-Odukoya say something oooo.

  5. We don hear o adviser. If evrybody refuse to take responsibility like una d world will be back in d stone age not that our quality of life has improved much since that age. Really na una poor pass for d world? Make una organise una sef. Even in my bush village we organised ourselves, water, road, electricity all came thru community effort. What do u do wen u live in a Government Rejected Area (GRA)? U do it ursef.

  6. I need to take a break and breathe…. still laughing

    1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

      @elovepoetry please catch your breath o and thank you for reading.

  7. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    Madam @Estee we don solve d matter sincee. But in some places,people still dey use water do bad.Papa blessing shout ‘Milk’ whether their ur own go be ‘breast milk’, we go know when e happen!

  8. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

    Very interesting and funny and earthy, i likey. some spelling issues but it seems you dont like hearing that.

    1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

      Sunshine @nicolebassey thank you for your comment.However,I will like to say that I do not mix mediocrity with reality.I don’t know if you speak pidgin,what I know is that if there is any spelling mistake(not error),I think you should outline it so I can adjust.But when you attempt to ‘correct’ someone by presenting a wrong ‘other’, that will go with that saying-teacher no teach me nonsense.In my first installation you said ‘Abi’ should be spelt ‘I be’ and I began to wonder if you have read any other pidgin work other than mine before!
      I didnt intend to say ‘I be samuel’ as in when one is introducing oneself to another. I meant ‘Abi?’ As in when one says ‘you don eat abi?’ that is quite simple I think.
      Thank you for stopping by.

      1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

        In water Palava 1 , i read, ‘Wetin I know na small pikin abi.’ and suggested it ought to read ‘Wetin I know, na small pikin I be.’ I’m sorry for commenting on your post. Forgive ‘ my mediocrity’ and ‘nonsensensical teachings’.

        1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

          OoOOOooooo…@nicolebassey my bad!!! I apologise. Well,until you quoted directly from the work,i have been reading that phrase as ‘I be’ as oppose to ‘abi’ that is written there as you have rightly pointed.You know how you read what is in your mind rather than what is spelt as a writer. I think if you had done that in your first correction, I would have seen it.Thank you for your eagle eyes.
          Again, your words were too harsh in my opinion.Rather than say ‘but you wouldnt like to hear it’ you should just correct it straight and ‘fall my hand’ if u know what I mean.If I don’t like corrections,I don’t think I will post my stories on naijastories.com.Please comment on my stories ooo.Once again accept my apologies.God bless.

  9. khadijahmuhammad (@khadijahmuhammad)

    Interesting and funny.

    1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

      thank you for your comment @khadijahmuhammad. God bless you

  10. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    thank you for your comment @khadijahmuhammad. God bless you

  11. @sambright I like it. Fantastic use of pidgin.

    1. sambright (@sambrightomo)

      thanks @olajumoke for reading.God BLESS you.

  12. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    OoOOOooooo…@nicolebassey my bad!!! I apologise. Well,until you quoted directly from the work,i have been reading that phrase as ‘I be’ as oppose to ‘abi’ that is written there as you have rightly pointed.You know how you read what is in your mind rather than what is spelt as a writer. I think if you had done that in your first correction, I would have seen it.Thank you for your eagle eyes.
    Again, your words were too harsh in my opinion.Rather than say I wouldnt take correction,you should just correct it straight and ‘fall my hand’ if u know what I mean.Please comment on my stories ooo.God bless.

  13. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    OoOOOooooo…@nicolebassey my bad!!! I apologise. Well,until you quoted directly from the work,i have been reading that phrase as ‘I be’ as oppose to ‘abi’ that is written there as you have rightly pointed.You know how you read what is in your mind rather than what is spelt as a writer. I think if you had done that in your first correction, I would have seen it.Thank you for your eagle eyes.
    Again, your words were too harsh in my opinion.Rather than say ‘but you wouldnt like to hear it’ you should just correct it straight and ‘fall my hand’ if u know what I mean.If I don’t like corrections,I don’t think I will post my stories on naijastories.com.Please comment on my stories ooo.Once again accept my apologies.God bless.

  14. mendel martha (@ihenyengladysusile)

    very funny,my best part was when nepa brought the light and u exclaimed ‘lobatan’ and within me i said God don catch am im own don finish and i just could’nt stop laughing.

  15. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    @ihenyengladysusile… lol. Thanks for reading.

Leave a Reply