A Tunnel Blues – Recap

A Tunnel Blues – Recap

 

I stood there a travelling man

with nothing less than my surviving soul:

duffel bag,dusty foot,pale skin,

shredded leaflets-full of scribbled dreams

blame that on sunrises and sunsets of days past

for being my angels while threading those lonely miles.

 

lonely miles..lonely miles ?

nah , not really about those strange lonely miles

this all bout what happened after standing there a travelling man ?

 

yes ,It was the tunnel that I saw before me

It was dark,it was too big only for half-a-man

so I had to crawl through half -a-man

with so much of my ego trimmed off the edges.

And it wasnt easy walking on hot coals and sharp edged pebbles

They made me think twice about denouncing the sacrifice that got me sprung.

 

nevertheless

I Kept the gaze on the firmament at the end -the shinning trophy

broke all laws,fought allĀ  bending forces

finally got my sore hands on the torch :

my victory in technicolour.

 

But this torch bearer

just found out the light in his hand

marks the beginning of another tunnel.

 

sigh!…….’.keep moving’ thats what Life says !

 

The journey stops when your life -clock stops.……



7 thoughts on “A Tunnel Blues – Recap” by Ayo iz a Scrawler (@ayowole)

  1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

    interesting

  2. This is beautiful. So so beautiful.

    It speaks to my heart; speaks encouragement into the world-weary soul of a Christian.

    Guy – there’s something bigger than you in your pen. Let it lead is what I say.

    Now –

    “blame that on sunrises and sunsets of days past

    for being my angels while threading those lonely miles.”

    I don’t see the relevance of ‘for being my angels’ in that line. Could you please make that clearer?

    “lonely miles..lonely miles ?

    nah , not really about those strange lonely miles

    this all bout what happened after standing there a travelling man ?

    yes ,It was the tunnel that I saw before me”

    I think what you intended there was to make those lines a ‘question and answer’ kind of thing.

    No?

    It wasn’t clear enough – maybe you should have italicized some lines or something – or put parenthesis.

    Just saying.

    IT IS beautiful.

    Thank you.

    1. I apologise – I just got the ‘sunrise and sunset being my angels’ line.

      You are saying your only companions were the ‘sunrise and sunset’.

      Guy. You’re blessed.

      Keep at it! Be the best ever!

      Bless.

      1. seun thanx man .I’m still a ‘ work in progress ‘ .improving my bleeding skills from nothing to a better novice .once more thanx for the read .

        1. is Seun Odukoya GQ ?

  3. @Ayowole,

    I thought the first verse was very evocative. I imagined a man, lonely, tired and weary, standing at the gates of the End of the World, staring ahead and contemplating his past and future.

    But the poem was not as good from the second verse on for me. I’m not sure why; maybe it’s because the tone changed; maybe the description of going through the tunnel wasn’t as powerful as that first stanza, and that broke the spell that the poem had cast over me.

    Note:

    “threading” > “treading”

    “shinning” > “shining”

    Well done.

    1. thanx man .getting better with time .peace .

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