Sexual Harassment and a Woman’s Dressing

Now I had no intention of writing anything today but I am so mad that I have to vent. I was strolling through Facebook where I came across an article about a girl being harassed and disgraced for dressing indecent in Abuja. The street boys tore her clothing and yelled obscenities at her and ofcourse some people were standing around taking pictures and videos. It was a really ugly scene First of all, he who is without sin should cast the first stone. The street boys doing this are probably drug peddlers, thugs and thieves and they have the right to pass judgement on someone else? Really?

Yes, I agree that some of our girls do not dress well, but neither do the guys. Is it not hypocrisy that a guy can go around shirtless with a sagging trouser and half his Scooby doo boxers showing and have no repercussion, And this girl(who doesn’t even come in the top 200 million for worst dressed) is being disgraced for wearing a LBD. Are we still in the dark ages? So are their actions then godly? You say someone is sinning. You then sin to show them the wrongness of their sins??? Like how does that make sense? And to those peddling the Not in our culture slogan, check your history or watch more movies. The culture issue has been on my bucket lists on issues to discuss before I die (or stop blogging, whichever comes first), so I am almost glad (if I wasn’t so angry, I would have been completely glad) that the opportunity has presented itself.

Before the Europeans and religion came, we no dey wear cloth!!!!! Only the essentials were covered and in some cultures, not even that. So which culture are you then talking about? I am even going too far. Look at the outfits in the 60s and 70s. The maidens wore little clothing. Now, from the pictures, One can see that the only exposed parts happened to be the legs. As a woman and a reasonable human being, I was outraged by their actions but I was even more outraged by the comments left by some ********* saying that she deserved it; her actions are ungodly, she should have gotten raped sef and that it’s not in our culture. Are you guys for real????? So, the culture argument holds no water. Our minds have gotten corrupt and instead of us to address our corrupt mind, we try to shift blame. Religion has taught us the need to cover up, but it is NOT a culture thing. (My opinion)

Now I am not trying to justify what she is wearing or what some girls wear. I personally believe a girl looks 100 times better when she is decently dressed in well put together pieces BUT that’s my personal opinion. IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS and it is none of yours. A lot of mad people are on the street half-naked. If you feel morally offended by their outfits, go and show them the errors of their ways na. There are only two things involved when you see a stranger inappropriately dressed (If it’s someone you know, you can tell them that what they are wearing isn’t proper). One, shake your head like the rest of us and go your way.

Two, approach the person and tell them the errors of their ways. In option two, there are only two things involved. You may genuinely touch the person and influence them positively or you may receive a very delicious slap or a tongue lashing. (However, if it is a mad person, there is only one thing involved) The choice is yours. As to those advocating that she should have been raped, ******.

I am not diplomatic enough to find less offensive words to convey how I really feel about you and too polite to express it here. My kid sisters read this.

If they can put the energies expended in harassing women into battling corruption in Nigeria, we would be a much better country.

11 thoughts on “Sexual Harassment and a Woman’s Dressing” by Kemi Okpaka (@kemmykzy)

  1. Touchè. Our society is lawless this was just another sign of that. Sad. Sad for the girl and sadder for people that can justify this sort of thing.

  2. Far as I’m concerned, we’re all mad because we allow stuff like this go on in our country.

    We write about it, rant about it, and then forget.

    UNTIL the next time. I wonder what it will take for us to do something against the ‘ourselves’ that is killing ‘us’.

  3. i dont know what to say because i know this kind of thing can only happen in the north

    1. @coshincozor

      I beg to STRONGLY DISAGREE sir.

      Before Fashola sanitized Yaba and bounced all those guys that sold clothes, they had a habit of pulling at girls and telling them to come and buy wares – actually harassing the girls. Some of them go as far as insulting the girls just because they refuse to answer.

      At Oshodi – it was a normal sight to see agberos and other ‘undersirables’ insulting scantily-dressed women. It was NORMAL.

      In the north; you say?

      Sir, do say AGAIN.

  4. Lawlessness is cause of all this. Untill we have laws to checkmate these barbaric acts, I suggest the ladies should factor their surroundings in their choice of dressing…

  5. Wow, @kemmykzy, I could hug you right now, specifically for your third paragraph – the one that begins “Before the Europeans…”! I’ve always wondered what exact culture they were talking about too. It’s an amazing experience to see your exact thoughts on a matter aired and mirrored precisely by someone you’ve never even spoken to before.

    I believe we live in the single most hypocritical society in the whole wide world. And this pertains to both our relaxed outlook on blatant dishonesty (sometimes even attributing it to God’s blessings) and the two-faced way we look at women and “decency”.

  6. @kemmykzy, Culture or no culture, a woman’s body is sensitive and NEEDS to be well covered. And i wont support the shake-head-and-pass aproach to the menace of indecent dressing, even though i am not rooting for those reccomending rape or any form of harrassment.

    Boys who sag are childish, and juvenile, but we all know that the lust which the woman evokes causes more physical and spiritual casualties than the boys. The devil is a zillion times smarter and farther ahead from all these, arguments, and he is achieveing his objective, big time.

    Lets save the ones we can, both the ”showers” and ”lookers”’. by being vehement against uncladness. which by the way was how it ws in the days of Noah, which is a pointer to the times we are in now.

  7. it’s sad, but what do you expect in a patriarchal society? well, as you said, let those who have no sin be the first to throw the first stone…. it’s a challenge that everybody today would quash as a dare too toothless and they a multitude would throw stones.

    methinks it is time this hypocrisy thing was dealt with, moral police and law enforcers to work together…. we can’t have crooks breaking the law around in the guise of morality

  8. As I read through, I could feel your anger. Ladies should really learn to dress properly. The truth is such skimpy and indecent dressing increases the likelihood of a crime of sexual violence. However, for those who dared to say “she should have been raped”, that is just sick…really sick!

  9. Lol @ some comments here. But do we have any control over mob actions. It usually is a spur of the moment thing and is over before you know it and we don’t have enough law enforcement officers to uphold it and even when they arrive at the scene ,it is usually a concerned citizen ,it’s foolhardy to go against the crowd until our mentality of those things is changed . Till then the best alternative is for ladies to dress well.

  10. ladies just try and cover your bodies well.

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