I’m rosy, I’m your not the average girl, I believe my life should be like my name-rosy! I’m not a basic bitch, I don’t want to head the pack, but if I don’t have it then it ain’t it. I surround myself with people I envy, I see everyone as crayons,if u ain’t colorful enough or sharp enough, u can’t be in my box, if u r colorful but broken I push u out. I want to be the perfect miss miss but yet I don’t want to be goody-miss-two-shoes, I must set my own trend.
In my world I have a few good friends and sometimes I stray into alternate worlds out of boredom and to recruit nu colors/friends for my world.
B (darkest shade of green)
She’s a jolly mysterious person, I don’t know her real name or what her story is, I just know she’s full of life, I thought she was ‘red’ but because of her multiple layers and personality I knew she had to be green, something like army green or olive, almost black. A color that keeps u guessing just like her personality. Her reputation is like wild fire, burns in different direction,no true pattern or cause. She’s interesting, although I wonder if she’s sane, I’m not sure bout her true self but I guess that’s her charm.
B invited me for a thing. A friend of hers was having a party,just because her parents were away for the week. The house was massive and empty. I didn’t really know the girl her name was Aida but I didn’t care, all I was interested in was the empty house and the chance to go crazy.
Aida was wearing a white slip dress and B was in yellow I was happy I wore my pink dress wit d purple&red flowers and my gorgeous new pink flat sandals(I saved for weeks to buy it and it felt heavenly),I’ll b a walking distraction,just d right attention. it was the usual crowd, I knew everyone here and the punch was just right. I danced like I had no care in the world..B was flirting with me, somehow I knew she wasn’t really straight but I didn’t care, she knew I wasn’t her type. But I enjoyed flirting. Suddenly she told me she had to go her cousin(who really wasn’t her cousin,maybe a girlfriend??) needed her she was in trouble(her ‘cousin’ was always getting herself in trouble usually with the shady boyfriend of the week or something) I wasn’t interested,I knew it was no big deal. B asked me to leave with her but I was having so much fun, I didn’t want to go, I told B to go, I knew everyone around so I was safe. After B left, I met this cutie he had bin checking me out since we got here but he only came up to me after B left. He was tall and pretty(almost beautiful) and he made me laugh, It was a kick-back so we lay on the couch drinking pouch and sharing stories. Hours later he was ready to go, maybe I should hitch a ride with him. He said he would bring his car around it was parked far away from the house. I was to meet him by the pool in 15mins. I smiled sweetly being the flirt I was as I watched him leave.
Went to look for Aida(tho I didn’t like her) I still had to say bye. She was nowhere to be found,oh well my ride was more important. I let myself out through the back door, walking through the garden and to the pool I was 3 boys I knew. Derek and I grew up on the same street, he lived there for 10years till his parents split and he had to move. I saw him years later at Uni, he enrolled at my school when I was in my 2nd year. And in the 2years since then we only met at the weekend college parties. I would like to say we were not as close we were as kids because of the time we spent apart but the truth was I heard he was gay and I believed it.
He dresses like them, he surrounded himself with them, so in my little mind he was gay.
I didn’t want to be around gay people so I avoided them.
He spotted me, just as I tried to sneak past him and his two friends, he called me rose-only people from way back knew my real name was rose. To others I was simply rosy. I smiled and acted like I had just seen him too, as he walked up to me I knew something was wrong. I heard he was a junkie but these days everyone was hooked on one thing or the other. He used to be ‘blue’ as a child, because he was always happy,always smiling and reminded me of sunny summer afternoons when we used to play as kids on our streets.
But today,although he was smiling he didn’t look ‘blue’ he looked like ‘grey’ like the dark gloom just before a nasty storm.
I smiled and hugged him, I struggled to make small talk, tried to tell him I was in a hurry to meet my cutie who was my free ride home. But he kept ranting, he gave me his drink, and because I knew refusing it would make my conversation longer, I took it and drank. His friends joined us beside the pool where we were standing, they were asking too many questions, I was confused.
My head was spinning and my tummy was hurting.
Surely, his friend didn’t just grab my left breast! I needed to sit, I was weak, I tried to take a step in the direction of the little cabin by the pool but surely his second friend knew I was weak because he helped me into the cabin. I lay there, and then everything suddenly became clearer, it was like a movie I was watching, the cabin was beautifully decorated, an arabian theme, with huge puffs and pillows, with old oil lamps giving it a warm orange glow, it was a romantic setting.
Oh No!! I knew derek liked me as a child, he called me -my little rose. But it wasn’t possibly that he still had a crush on me, he didn’t set this place up like this for me just to ask me out?
It was romantic if it wasn’t funny and pathetic. I just kept smiling, propped there on the huge puff.
I had to pretend I was an arabian princess(I liked to play roles in my head) I imagined I was jasmine, I was his friends in the corner stripping, they were naked in a flash, ok so they were a couple and were going to take a swim together or make out or whatever it was that gay people did. I didn’t really care at this point for I was in a dream. Wait till I tell everyone about derek’s puppy love romantic move.
His first friend was walking towards me, his thing was hard and big and pointing at me, he tore my clothes off but surely I must have had too much punch, dat wasn’t right.
I saw sm1 peep in,it looked like my cutie, he had to be looking for me, I struggled to get up but I couldn’t get up, he was gone, he didn’t see me.
saw His friend rip my dress. They were laughing because my breasts were bare. And my little pink thong was all was there.
And I realized…I was going to be raped, I tried to scream but I couldn’t, I felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks, I looked up at derek,he had to protect me, he was just staring at me. He looked different, he looked like his father(but I knew he wasn’t, his father was a monster who used to beat up his mother when we were kids) my mind kept screaming derek please help me, but the words could not come out.
His friend was in between my legs when I heard derek say stop-‘that’s my little rose’
Finally!! He stopped them his friend got up, he bent down and I knew he was going to pick me up and take me away, but instead he brought he pulled down his pants and I felt the sharp pain between my legs, it was all heat and pain, the world was red. He said I wasn’t his rose anymore, that he had crushed the flower. I didn’t understand the joke but his friends did, because they all laughed.
A few seconds later, both his friends took their turns, they dressed up quickly and left.
I knew what just happened, I was raped, raped by my childhood friend and sweetheart and his friend, I used to be colorful,I used to be rosy but he said I wasn’t. I am broken now.
I don’t know how long I stayed there crying, but when I woke up I could still feel the heat in between my legs, like a furnace trapped there, I tried to move and I could although I was really weak. I could hear the music coming from the house, maybe if I crawled out someone will see me. I crawled to the pool but I was too weak, I could not face the world, I was sleepy again, maybe if I crawled right into the pool, I’ll sleep there and no one would ever know that was broken, they would still say, here’s rosy the colorful girl who died happy and partying.
Yes! They would think I was so drunk that I drowned. I’d leave this cold world still colorful and broken.
The water was cold and it stung me in between my legs, but sleep called to be, it felt good to sleep at the bottom of the pool.